


Dragontails

by ceyaro



Series: Lands of air and earth [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Dragons, Established Clexa, F/F, Fantasy, Fluff, How to train your dragon universe YAS toothless, Lexa tries to get back to being heda, Mystery, Politics, Smuff, Smut, discovering past, fuck nia, hot damn my summary does not cover this shizzle, this was supposed to be a one shot but wth, travelling to different world, we still need to make that coaltion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:53:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 68,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7149779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceyaro/pseuds/ceyaro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm not the heir."<br/>"You could be."<br/>"If this is your way of proposing, it sucks."</p><p> <br/>Lexa arrives at Arkadia Island at 14 after she has been found soaked and half alive. No one has heard of Trikru or understands the language she is speaking. She meets Clarke when she is 16 and falls in love, now three years later, Lexa's past is catching up with her. Okay so I suck at summaries.<br/>Did I mention they have dragons? Different lands, etc. This is pretty much AU fanatsy guys. Tho the grounderworld will be in this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Lexa pumped her fist in the air as she caught another sheep. The crowd cheered, and the sound filled her heart with more excitement. The wind and the speed alone captivated the feeling of freedom. She would never get enough of it. She held tightly onto Aris as she sped up. Next, she saw the Blake siblings bickering on their two-headed dragon.

"O' we need to step up our game, we're losing."

"Well, maybe if you paid less attention to Echo and more attention to the game, we wouldn't be!" Octavia snapped, and her brother feigned ignorance.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He squealed back. In the meantime, another sheep was released, and the commentators were presenting the rankings as they were at that moment. Lexa was in second place. She narrowed her eyes and was determined to make the next point, but soon enough Echo captured the sheep and Lexa cursed under her breath. She quickly pursued her, but Octavia had gotten there first.

"Bellamy what are you doing?! Focus!" She screeched at her brother, but Bellamy had a shy smile carved on his face. "Bellamy! Motherf-" She was cut off by Murphy trying to steal the sheep. "Oh no you don't Murphy, I'll be damned if you get this next point."

"This is great isn't?" Abby asked her husband as they watched the competition from their seats. Jake nodded. "Darling?"

"Yes, it is. If only Clarke were here. This is the second race she's missed." Jake muttered. As chief, he wanted his daughter to participate. It looked bad for his daughter not to, and on top of everything else, she was excellent at it, so it felt like wasted potential.

"Lexa will win it for the both of them," Abby smiled, and Jake laughed. He pointed his finger at her as he watched her stand up on her dragon and dive through the air, to capture the sheep from the bickering Blake siblings. He laughed. "Get them Lexa."

The crowd cheered again as Lexa made a point and Jake jumped from his seat, "That's my girl. That is my future daughter in law!" Abby giggled and clapped her hands. When Jake sat back down, he wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders.

"See?" Abby murmured in his ear. "Doesn't that make up for it?" Jake grinned at his wife.

"Yes, kind of. Her girlfriend not being here to see it is what is bothering me." He said, but his tone was full of amusement.

"You scared her away this morning. All that talk of being the heir and her responsibility," Abby laughed, but Jake pouted. He only wanted to show his daughter how much faith he had in her. Sure, she wasn't ecstatic to become chief, but it was an honor and her birthright.

"She is probably working on that damn map again."

"She has a wild soul." Another cheer erupted from the crowd as Echo made a point.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at Echo. "Come on Aris!" She shouted as Aris picked up her speed.

"Ah, I see you've joined the competition." Echo sassed.

"Joined? Darling, I'm on your tail, prepare to lose." Echo arched an eyebrow.

"In your dreams, Woods." She flew away, and Lexa had to admit she was a sight for sore eyes. Her dragon had a golden shine, which mirrored the sun. It was both beauty and advantage, as the reflection of the sun made it hard to locate Echo on its back. She grinned feeling amused. She patted the black skin of her dragon and encouraged her more.

"We'll show her."

 

Lexa ended up winning that competition and made a point to gloat in front of Echo. Echo had only beaten her twice and in pairs, Lexa had been unbeatable, if Clarke was her partner that was. She frowned a little and decided to look for her girlfriend before Clarke's father had a nervous breakdown.

"I'll find her." She grinned at Jake, and he hugged her tightly.

"You always do."

She flew as far as she could, she knew Clarke was probably trying to expand her map again, which she usually did if she was stressed. She was a traveler, which is something she loved about her. Finally, she spotted a golden shine on the eastern edge, a shine that could only belong to Clarke. She landed, but the blonde looked to be so deep in thought, that she had not noticed Lexa.

Lexa leaned against a tree and watched her. She shook her head at her endearing girlfriend and said, "You know, one more missed race and your dad is going to have a mental breakdown." She joked, and Clarke nearly jumped up, startled as she was. She laughed and looked over her shoulder.

"He'll live." She grinned, then got up and walked over to Lexa. The brunette hummed. "Besides, he has you." Clarke teased, and Lexa arched an eyebrow.

"I'm not the heir." Normally Lexa was quite reserved but around Clarke, she could never contain her smile.

"You could be." Clarke purred and started backing Lexa further against the tree trunk. Lexa snorted at her as she ran her hands up Clarke's arms.

"If this is your way of proposing, it sucks." Lexa flirted as her back hit the tree mercilessly. Clarke giggled.

"He already calls you his future daughter in law. We might as well make it official." Clarke sounded cocky, and Lexa shook her head.

"You think I'm that easy?" Lexa arched both of her eyebrows which made Clarke chuckle.

"A girl can try can't she?" She leaned in and captured Lexa's lips. She moved across the plump lips and applied a little more pressure, which allowed excitement to simmer in her stomach. Lexa's hands got lost in Clarke's intricate braids as the kiss became heated. Right before Clarke could break the kiss assault Lexa's neck, the brunette pushed her girlfriend away, gently. She rested her head against Clarke's, all the while getting lost into her blue orbs.

"I love you," Clarke whispered.

"I love you too." Lexa beamed. "You want to tell me why you're out here?" Clarke shrugged, and her smile fell.

"Just my dad talking about 'heir' stuff." She shrugged, and Lexa nodded. It was a conflict that both of them knew would be coming at some point.

Clarke did not want to be chief. Lexa swiftly changed the subject and said, "Show me what you found." Clarke grinned, and the blonde entwined their fingers.

"Come on. It's not far from here." She grinned and got onto her dragon. Lexa did the same although she kind of wanted to ride with Clarke, or have Clarke ride with her. Both of their dragons had become accustomed to the other. She did not want to leave Aris without a rider, though, and she imaged Clarke felt the same about Pol.

"Come on girl." She heard Clarke say to her dragon. Lexa always felt in awe when she saw Clarke riding her dragon. It was gray with blue markings, similar to Clarke's eyes. She would follow her everywhere. Especially if she got to fly behind her, because what a sight that was.

"You know you could always fly next to me!" She heard Clarke shout as if the blonde had read her mind. She looked behind her, and Lexa grinned.

"Why would I do that when the view is so nice here." Lexa bit her lip when she saw Clarke roll her eyes. Soon enough they reached their destinations, and it took Lexa's breath away. It was beautiful. The island was covered in dark pink flowers, as big as her dragon's paws. She had never seen such flowers. Clarke jumped off her dragon, not patient enough to wait for it to land. The island also had what seemed to be a hot spring, judging from the steam floating above the water.

"So what do you think?" Clarke asked, and Lexa looked around even more.

"It's beautiful Clarke. What will you name this one?" The blonde shrugged. She seemed to be considering the name for a few seconds until she grimaced.

"Polaris the 5th?" She stated, and Lexa snorted.

"You can't keep calling these islands Polaris."

"Why not? Besides, I only call the beautiful ones Polaris." She paused and then added, "Maybe I should call this one Alexandria, first of its name, as it is particularly beautiful." Clarke wiggled her eyebrows and winked at her girlfriend. This was unbelievable. Lexa groaned and fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"You did not just go there." Lexa deadpanned but soon enough Clarke was strolling towards Lexa.

"I cannot seem to please. You won't marry me. You won't let me name an island after you. What will it take to please you, woman?" Clarke feigned aggravation and Lexa crossed her arms. Then she arched an eyebrow and took Clarke by surprise by jumping on her and pushing her onto the ground. Then she shouted at the dragons to explore the island.

"I'm sure you can find a way." She teased and entwined their fingers before pushing Clarke's hands above her head. She grinned and started leaving open kisses on Clarke's neck.

"Spirits have mercy on me." Clarke murmured. 


	2. Goodbye Arkadia

It was dark, and the air was chillier tonight than it usually was. Lexa had been put on guard duty and was patrolling the higher streets. When she passed the highest house on the island, she noticed a shadow in the corner of her eye.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Lexa asked the girl that had been trying to sneak up on her.

"How do you do that?" Clarke demanded and wrapped soft arms around Lexa's waist.

"No one can sneak up on me, least of all you." Lexa snickered. Clarke nuzzled Lexa's delicately woven braids and searched for a bare patch of skin to sink her teeth in. "Clarke, I can't-, " Lexa said when Clarke had finally found an opening in Lexa's hair and nibbled on her pulse point. "I don't have time-" She said breathlessly, but she forgot that sentiment the minute Clarke's hands brushed over Lexa's breasts. Lexa melted into her girlfriend with a quiet moan and allowed Clarke to guide her towards the back of one of the houses. Her back sank into the hard bricks, and when Clarke dropped to her knees, she knew she had lost a battle she had yet to fight.

"I'll be quick." She had a devilish smile on her face before she dragged down Lexa's pants. "You better be quiet-" She whispered before kissing the inside of Lexa's thigh. Lexa closed her eyes in anticipation, and when Clarke groaned into her center, Lexa widened her legs more to give the blonde more access. "How are you always ready for me?" Clarke questioned, more aroused than ever, when she tasted Lexa on her lips, wet and desperate. Clarke heaved one leg over her shoulder and with that thrust her tongue deep into Lexa's folds. She could feel the brunette's walls flutter around her tongue already. Lexa didn't last long. When Clarke administered two fingers and pushed her tongue towards Lexa's clitoris, she pushed the girl over the edge. Lexa bit her own fist to keep herself from crying out as she rocked her hips onto Clarke's face until the pressure became too much and she guided Clarke's face away from her center. She knocked her head back against the bricks and shook her head, still not believing how, one, she had come that quickly, and two, she had allowed Clarke to distract her during her shift. If Arkadia had been attacked at that point, Jake would've had her head.

"'Told you it'd be quick," Clarke said before kissing Lexa. The brunette grunted when she tasted herself on Clarke's tongue.

"Asshole," Lexa mumbled against Clarke's lips. The blonde leaned away, but not before biting Lexa's lip as she did, and looked at Lexa with arched eyebrows.

"Now that is hardly a way to talk to someone who just made you come like I did." Lexa pushed her girlfriend playfully and bit her lip, to keep herself from smiling.

"I need to get back to work. You've already distracted me too much. If your father finds us like this, he'll kill me." Lexa stated seriously, but Clarke snorted.

"My dad loves you more than he loves me. You're like his favorite girl."

"I am his favorite girl because I do my job. If I stop doing it, you'll see how quick I will stumble from that pedestal." Lexa crossed her arms, but Clarke kept her smile.

"So you agree you're on a pedestal." Clarke teased, and Lexa rolled her eyes and groaned because she knew she had given Clarke enough ammo to tease her for the next week. Clarke leaned in a kissed Lexa's lips sweetly as she sensed Lexa's annoyance bubbling up. She loved grumpy Lexa, almost as much as she loved romantic Lexa.

"You should get some sleep," Lexa said seriously, as she brushed Clarke's hair and cupped her cheek.

"I could tell you the same thing, but you still have an hour of patrolling to do. I could join you." Clarke suggested, and Lexa smirked.

"Only if you behave yourself, and stop tempting me." Lexa made her condition, and Clarke accepted.

"Deal, I can _behave_." Clarke bit her lip, but Lexa shook her head at the flirty tone her girlfriend had adopted.

"There is nothing you say that does not have double meaning is there, my love?" Lexa said while she leaned away from the bricks and started walking. Clarke was quick to be on her tail and wrapped her hand around Lexa's, which earned her a smile from the brunette.

"Not with you."

* * *

 

Ugh, I'm so tired." Clark woke up and bent over the side of the bed with her head still resting in her palms. She heard Lexa chuckle while she leaned over from her spot on the bed and wrapped a lazy arm around Clarke's waist. She then kissed the small of Clarke's back.

"You should've gone to bed when I told you to go." She grinned against Clarke's skin.

"I hate you," Clarke replied and made Lexa laugh harder. Lexa rolled on her back as Clarke looked over her shoulder to watch her girlfriend giggle.

"I love you too baby." She winked, and Clarke shook her head, but her eyes kept a certain twinkle of happiness in them.

"We _should_ get ready, though," Clarke said remembering why they had to get up this early. "I can't believe we're finally doing this." She said with newfound energy. Lexa smiled nervously. The last time she had gone on a long trip, she had lost her home and her family.  

She had been fourteen when she arrived at Arkadia, orphaned and alone. Or, at least, that's what she assumed when no one came looking for her after four months. She had assumed they had all died. She remembered walking into the great hall and looking up at Jake. That man was so tall, still today. She had tried to make herself look bigger which amused Jake. Lexa, from day one, looked strong to him, someone that had already been hardened by time, even at fourteen. They put her with a foster family, which already had children as they figured it would allow her to integrate better.

She didn't even speak the language, though, so the first year she didn't speak much. At first, she didn't want anyone to know, but when she cursed the first time around in Trigedasleng, her foster mother had looked at her, first with astonishment, then with understanding. They couldn't find where she was from, and she also didn't want to lead a potential enemy to her home, so she wasn't exactly cooperative.

One night, she had gone looking for maps, to see if she could make her way home without help, back to Trikru land, but all the maps she found, even the ones that stretched out as far as three weeks flying, did not have Trikru territory on them. She could not find Trikru, Azgeda, Broad Leaf, or any other familiar territory on any of those maps. She cried that night, fearing she would never go home again.

When she got her dragon, Aris, two years later, after Marcus had deemed her fit to have one, she decided to look for her home again, to leave Arkadia. Even if she would look for months on end, she would at least be able to tell herself she had tried. It wasn't easy the first few times she had ridden Aris. She had to break her in. She hated that expression, 'break in' as if she had to traumatize another being, take away its freedom to be able to ride it. She preferred to consider it a trust she had gained, a relationship she had made, for life. If Aris did not want to fly, they would not.

In Arkadia, one would 'break in' a dragon at fifteen. She was sixteen when she got Aris, so she had only really been delayed a year compared to others her age. She was so ready to leave. Yes, it hurt her to leave the family she had made here behind, but she needed to find her home once more.

Then she met Clarke and everything changed. The first time she met her was at a dragon race. She couldn't keep her eyes away from her blonde hair and her blue eyes. She loved her from the moment she saw Clarke making her first point by riding her dragon as if it was a surfboard. It was quite common now for Clarke to participate, her father even took pride in it, but back then, it was considered a taboo sport. Jake had hated it, out of ignorance, and had forbidden his daughter to participate. So, when Lexa first met Clarke, she knew her by her racer's name, which was actually her dragon's name, Pol, Poly for friends. They had shared certain competitiveness between them. Then one night, after the race had been declared a draw Clarke and Lexa shared a drink. One drink became three, and three drinks became a passionate make out session against the bathroom tiles of the Jolly Sailor. That's when Lexa found out who Clarke really was.

_"What's your real name?" Lexa asked breathlessly as she kissed the blonde with more passion than she knew she possessed._

_"Clarke," The blonde tightened her grip on Lexa's braids before adding "Griffin. Clarke Griffin." Lexa stopped and looked deep into the girl's blue eyes. She found herself lost in this dark sea of blue and gray. The girl's familiar features hit her then. Most people had never seen Clarke Griffin. She wasn't allowed out much, especially not in the lower streets of the island._

_"Griffin?" Lexa stuttered._

"Babe? Hello?" Clarke waved her hand, which made Lexa's eyes blink. She looked at the blonde who in return watched her curiously. "You okay?" She sat down and brushed Lexa's hair away from her face. Lexa caught Clarke's hand to kiss her knuckles and then released it.

"Yes, just thinking of the first night we kissed." She smiled at Clarke's cheeks, which instantly darkened. She climbed over Lexa's lap and straddled her.  

"You were so nervous when you found out who I was," Clarke grinned and leaned down onto Lexa's hands. She raised those hands over Lexa's head and pinned them down against the mattress.

"Can you blame me? I didn't realize I was defiling the Chief's daughter." Lexa giggled. Everything changed when she met Clarke, so much so that she didn't want to spend months trying to find her home. There was no point, as Clarke had become her home. Perhaps it was selfish to stay and not look for her people, but she imagined her people would find her if fate decided she was needed after all. Until that happened, however, she would enjoy her life as much as she could, and that meant having Clarke in it.

"I hate how I liked you, for years, and you didn't even notice me." Clarke moped. Clarke had fallen in love with the island's stranger, the first time she met her, only Lexa had kept her eyes on Jake, their chief. She hadn't even taken notice to the blonde thirteen-year-old sitting in the back, on a smaller chair, next to her mother. After that, Clarke only saw her briefly when she would deliver bread to the castle. Lexa never saw Clarke, as the blonde usually hid behind a corner or a window. Clarke, however, saw Lexa, always. Clarke had been so excited when she saw Lexa that first time at a dragon race. She was dead set on beating Lexa if only to draw the brunette's attention. When Lexa kissed her for the first time, almost four months later, it had felt like her heart could have stopped at any minute. Even now, three years later, she still felt like her heart could stop due to all the flutters Lexa created.

"I noticed you years later, though. You were kind of hard to miss." Lexa offered meekly, which made Clarke snort.

"It took you long enough. Alas, my thirteen-year-old body simply did not appease." Clarke drew in a dramatic gasp, and consequently, Lexa shook her head and leaned up to capture Clarke's lips.

"Well, it sure does now." She muttered as her lips found a new destination with Clarke's collarbone. She pulled Clarke's t-shirt down, over her shoulder, and started exploring newfound skin. Clarke drew a sharp breath but then suddenly detangled their bodies.

"No distractions. We need to leave soon. I have a basket to prepare." Clarke squealed.

"Your obsession with this provision basket is too much." Lexa followed Clarke into their small kitchen. They had moved in together only a few months ago, shortly after Clarke turned eighteen. Clarke scowled at her from where she was standing and started placing things in the oversized basket.

"You say that now, but just wait until you're craving salted jerky in a few days. You'll be whistling a different tune." Clarke said determinedly while she pushed the items into the basket. Clarke was never particularly good at organizing items, which is probably why she asked in a rather frustrated manner, "Are you going to help me, or just stand there?" Lexa chuckled and approached her girlfriend.

She took hold of Clarke's hands and backed her away from the basket. She pushed her against the counter with her hips while smirking.

"No-" Clarke gulped, "dis- stra-ctions." Clarke stuttered, but Lexa kept her smirk intact. It was only with Clarke that she had allowed herself so many free expressions. She had been taught to guard her expression, keep her emotions safe from the enemy. That was before she met Clarke. Things seemed simpler here. She wasn't in charge, nor would she ever be, she didn't need to guard her emotions.

She kissed Clarke's nose before she turned around and started reorganizing the basket.

* * *

 

"Take care of each other." Abby said when she drew them both into a tight embrace.

"We'll only be gone for two weeks, mom. I am trying to expand our maps. It will be good for the community." Clarke stated, and Abby smiled.

"As long as you're back for the annual fall festivities, I have no objections," Jake stated as he placed his hands on his hips.

"Honey, that's a month away," Abby commented, but Jake shrugged.

"Exactly, it's like curfew. Your mom says two weeks, I say a month, I won't worry-" Abby punched Jake in the shoulder.

"Uhh, yes worry! Two weeks, Clarke, no more." She commanded sternly as Jake was making hand signs at Lexa from behind Abby's back. "Stop it, Jake. I can feel the wind from your hands." She glared at him, which made him suck on his lip. Clarke laughed and hugged her parents again.

"I'm going to miss you guys." She said fondly before she mounted Poly. "Let's go." She gave Lexa a loving look as the girl mounted her night fury. "Ride beside me this time. I don't want to get neck cramps."

Lexa pouted, "Way to take my fun away."

"That's how it all starts darling." Lexa heard Jake shout. She blushed heavily as she had not anticipated her girlfriend's father listening to their conversation.

"Bye Jake." Lexa offered, almost not daring to look back.

"Goodbye, my daughters!" He said dramatically and pretended to wipe away a tear. Lexa shook her head. She definitely knew where Clarke got her dramatics from; or rather, her playfulness as Clarke would argue that Lexa was far more dramatic than she ever could be.

She told Aris to fly next to Poly this time, and as the dragon roared, they finally flew next to one another.

"Well, hello my lady," Clarke said playfully. Lexa smiled widely, showing off her pearly whites.

"Hello." Lexa laughed. "Now, how about that salted jerky?" Lexa asked playfully, and Clarke gaped at her.

"We have literally left 5 minutes ago," Clarke stated, and Lexa started laughing. "You're making fun of me." Clarke pouted.

"Sorry, too easy," Lexa replied. "Where are we off to first?"

"East, we're going east."

* * *

 

This is the last island I named." Clarke grinned when they landed for the night.

"I remember." Lexa laughed. The dragons yipped and nibbled at each other's ears before scorching the ground beneath them and resting on warm soil. Lexa smiled endearingly at their dragons then back at Clarke, who was collecting firewood.

When Clarke leaned down to reach one last block of wood, Lexa turned her head sideways and enjoyed the view.

"I could draw you a picture you know? Since it's yours." Clarke peeked over her shoulder and Lexa blushed.

"Really? You would be able to draw your own behind? I want to see those flexibility skills, Griffin."

"You wish, Woods." Clarke snickered. Woods was the name they had given her as she smelled of pines when they first found her. Kom Trikru was a name she had not heard in five years, nor did she really think about it.

"Yes, I do." She teased and started helping Clarke set up a fire circle.

When they finally finished creating the fire, and Clarke had put a pot on top of it to start dinner, Lexa sat behind her and clung to the blonde's body.

"What do you think we will find out there?" She asked, not sure if she asked herself or Clarke. In truth, she was asking 'Will we find my home?' She was supposed to continue her training to become Heda. She had been chosen by the city elders to succeed to previous Heda. She had long given up on finding her home as it seemed no one had even heard of someone like her, but when Clarke suggested the trip to expand Arkadia's maps she had allowed herself to hope. Hope, however, came with a fear of losing the life she had built with Clarke, because what would happen if she did find her home? Would duty compel her to go back, or worse, to fight against Clarke?

"I don't know," Clarke said and turned around. "But that's part of the excitement right?" Clarke felt Lexa nod against her shoulder. The blonde caught her girlfriend's hands and turned her neck. "If I could fin-" Lexa interrupted by hushing her. The brunette kissed her to silence her completely, and Clarke let her. She breathed in sharply and cupped Lexa's neck to draw her closer. They had had that conversation too many times, and she knew how painful it was. She wished she could take Lexa's pain away, soothe it and put it to rest, alongside the nightmares and the haunting daydreams. Clarke was the only one that had ever heard the story of how she got to Arkadia. She was the only one that had seen Lexa crumble at the words she was uttering, when she spoke of the abundance of water that had entered her lungs and how she had felt its violence at her core. How Lexa had watched her family float away until she was completely alone and darkness' embrace darkened her sight.

"I love you," Clarke whispered hoping to sound more genuine every time she said it. Lexa nuzzled her neck and with that created a silence, they both enjoyed before they would commence eating.


	3. What if?

Clarke woke up with a shiver running down her spine. The sun had not yet risen, but their fire had ceased. She looked over Lexa's shoulder, while squeezing the body tightly to hers, to spot either of their dragons. They were both sleeping soundly which meant she would have to start the fire herself if she wanted to get any more sleep.

"Clarke?" Lexa mumbled when she stood up from their make-shift bed. The sudden decrease in warmth must've stirred the girl. Clarke smiled carefully at her girlfriend and brushed the hair out of her face.

"Go back to sleep. I'm reigniting the fire," Clarke explained. Lexa wanted to argue with her, but a stifled yawn coming from her own mouth discouraged her. Lexa frowned. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and unfocused, and so she felt herself sink back into a slumber. Clarke rubbed Lexa's shoulder and watched the brunette fall asleep. By now, Aris had woken and startled Clarke with her lightening like eyes. They shun in the dark, even more so during a thunderstorm only then different places of Aris' body sparked into consciousness. Clarke smiled and rubbed her snout while whispering soothing things, up until Aris nuzzled her nose onto Clarke' stomach as a sign of affection, and then lit the fire pit. Clarke sighed gratefully when she watched the warm flames coming to life. She quietly thanked Lexa's dragon and crawled under the furs once more that night.

She had slept for another two hours before a rather obnoxious sunray woke her. She groaned and by doing so woke Lexa. The brunette turned around from her position and eyed her girlfriend.

"Morning," She smiled at Clarke and pecked her lips. With Lexa's radiant smile, Clarke's sullen mood was gone. Clarke used one arm that was already wrapped around Lexa's waist to keep her where she was and the other to stroke Lexa's hair gently. "Did you get up in the middle of the night? Or did I dream that?" Lexa questioned, then graced them with another yawn.

"I did." Clarke blushed. "I was cold." She clarified.

"You could've told me. I would've ignited the fire." Lexa complained which made Clarke laugh.

"Aris woke up with all the stumbling around I did. She helped." Clarke stated. Lexa looked at her dragon who was already flying around for fish and smiled. She was happy how well Clarke and Aris got on. Aris must have felt how much Lexa loved Clarke and so loved Clarke as well. The same could not be said for Pol, however. The dragon still snorted and blew Lexa's hair into a jumble of knots any time the brunette would even lean against her girlfriend's dragon. Aris, as a reaction, usually spit some tiny fireballs at the dragon's tail to communicate her displeasure. Not that it did much, Aris was much smaller than Pol. She did manage to make her point come across, and so Pol would grumble and allow Lexa to do whatever she needed to do.

"Are you hungry?" Lexa asked. Clarke grinned and nodded. Consequently, Lexa got up to start on their breakfast but not before Clarke pulled her back for a kiss. Lexa chuckled into the kiss and lingered a little longer before she backed away and searched their bag for some vegetable paste. She ordered Clarke to fetch water while she cut up some carrots and onions they had brought.

Clarke made her way down to the river. She had seen the dragons tasting the water before so she knew it was safe. She collected in a two small tin cans. It was enough water for both of them as they would eat that amount of soup. She heard a rumble in one of the bushes and put the two cans aside before reaching for her dagger. It was Lexa's dagger, the one she had given her for their third-year anniversary, as a promise, to bind their fates one day. Clarke had asked Lexa to marry her as a joke since they first started dating. So when Lexa sincerely offered a 'someday' to Clarke, the blonde had become overwhelmed with even stronger feelings. She didn't think it was possible for her to feel even more for Lexa than she already did.

_"You know I'm joking when I say those things right?" Clarke asked when Lexa presented her with the dagger. The sudden look of rejection on Lexa's face was enough to have Clarke scrambling forward and wishing she had never said anything. "I mean-!" Clarke stuttered, "I want to, someday. I just- I'm eighteen."_

_"It's alright, Clarke." Lexa hushed her. "It's not that uncommon in my culture to offer an object of significant meaning to someone as a promise for a binding ceremony, even if that ceremony won't be initiated for a long time." The dagger was the last thing she possessed that was of Trikru origins. She also wanted to add: in her culture, it wasn't uncommon to have a binding ceremony at their age, as it was not considered very young. A lot of people died, so people didn't think about a someday, only a now. Lexa, however, was not living in her culture anymore and had only fought a single war as an 'Arkadian', one with few casualties. There was no rush, so when Clarke said someday, she meant it. She considered herself too young and Lexa accepted that._

_"Then again eighteen isn't_ that _young," Clarke muttered to herself, which made Lexa grin. "What would my mom say though?" Clarke pondered aloud. "My dad probably already has a wedding book." Clarke rolled her eyes and then blushed when she noticed Lexa watching her._

_"I'm pleased with someday. I love you, and I want you as mine. I want others to know that you are. That's all." Lexa murmured against Clarke's ear. Then she heard the blonde's breath hitch._

_"That's all?" Clarke teased, and she could feel the heat radiating from Lexa's neck._

Clarke snapped out of her daydream when she felt Pol snorting into her hair. So that's the rumbling she heard. Clarke rolled her eyes. Lexa liked to think Pol disliked her, but the dragon didn't. The dragon was to put it simply extremely grumpy. She hated everything; she simply hated them a little less, Lexa included. Then she felt Pol nudging her back as she almost fell into the water.

"Stop that." She clucked her tongue. Then she dipped the cups in the water again, as some of its contents had spilled when Pol tried to get Clarke's attention. She turned around and watched Pol throw up half her fish. "No, that's okay. You know I'm not a fan of fish." The stench made Clarke's inside knot together uncomfortably. Pol scoffed indignantly and ate her offering. If she could've spoken, she probably would have said 'fine.'

She walked back to where Lexa was. She was sitting in lotus position on a rock as the vegetables were simmering in the pot they had brought. Clarke emptied the two cans of water in the pot and watched Lexa scribble in her notebook. The girl collected notebooks. Clarke never saw her without one. She had about seven in her bookcase that went back to the first time she arrived. Once Clarke opened one of her earlier notebooks, but the language was different. She could not even recognize the alphabet. She had felt so guilty for allowing her curiosity to cloud her judgment. That same night she had admitted what she had done to Lexa. It had caused their first argument. It had scared the living daylights out of Clarke because they hadn't dated that long. She thought she had royally screwed up. A few days later, though, after not having heard anything from Lexa, the brunette had knocked on Clarke's door after being let in by Abby.

 _"Don't ever do it again without my permission! If you want to know things about my past, you need ask and not just look through my notebooks."_ She had barked. Then she had stomped into Clarke's room and laid down on Clarke's bed. Without another, she fell asleep and the next morning it was like nothing had ever happened.

Clarke approached Lexa and asked, "Any attention to spare?" This was her way of asking whether she was interrupting Lexa's writing time. She knew the brunette valued her alone time because she needed it to process everything. Lexa shut her notebook and wrapped her hands around Clarke's thighs so the blonde would sit down on her lap. She brushed her lips against Clarke's neck and breathed in her scent.

"Should we explore the island a bit more, or do you want to move on? We haven't really written much down about this place, though." Lexa stated, and Clarke considered. They were only a day away. It would be easy to come back and do some inventory, much easier than to find a new place.

"I'd rather fly more East, see what we can find. We can always come back here. We only have two weeks, which means we only have a week of exploring to do." Clarke said sadly. Lexa gave her a sympathetical smile.

"Why are your maps so limited?" Lexa asked as that questioning had been bouncing around her thoughts for a few weeks, but Clarke shrugged.

"I don't know." Clarke murmured. "Maybe, people were just too busy fighting with dragons." Clarke chuckled at the idea. It was only two generations back that they had found peace and even companionship with the dragons. "It was also less easy. Sailing took a long time compared to flying. The time we do in a day, it would've taken four days, because of detours and waters that are too dangerous to sail in. Only a few other people tried to explore with their dragons and those never came back, I think it scared people, still to this day."  

Lexa frowned. She didn't know about the people that explored and never came back. "Was it one group or several individuals over time that didn't come back?" She questioned, and Clarke looked at her surprised. She had assumed Lexa knew as much as she would about their history, but of course, the brunette wouldn't.

"Several individuals," Clarke admitted which pushed Lexa's brow further down.

"Why didn't you tell me this?" She demanded. Clarke could be in danger. What if something bad was out there, merely waiting for them to stumble blindly upon it? Clarke blinked and leaned back a little, though not enough that she wasn't pressed against Lexa.

"I thought you knew." She replied honestly.

"What if there is real danger?" Lexa growled. When she saw Clarke's perplexed expression she softened her tone, "Clarke, I don't know about this." Lexa murmured as Clarke widened her eyes at the mere suggestion of going back.

"Lexa, it's just superstition. If anything goes wrong, I promise we'll go back, but for now," She sighed and pressed her forehead against Lexa's with desperate urgency, "Please, I need this." She whispered, and Lexa gulped down her insecurities. The other riders weren't trained like Lexa was. If anyone could protect Clarke, it would be her. She hated going in blind, but wasn't that what she had signed up for anyways? It was as if it was only coming to life now, what she was actually doing, what she had agreed to. Clarke watched Lexa's brow, which at first was creased and throbbing, smoothen. Lexa gave a curt nod. It earned her a bruising kiss that left both of them breathless. They stayed that way, limbs entangled, until Lexa smelled the scent of burned vegetables and nearly threw Clarke off her lap to save their breakfast.

* * *

 

They had been flying quietly for over two hours until Lexa heard Clarke puff. "Lex," Clarke looked at her girlfriend with the same desperation she had a few hours ago. "You haven't said more than two words in the last two hours. Talk to me." Clarke pleaded with her, but Lexa furrowed her brow in confusion. "If you're angry or conflicted about all this, we can turn back. I don't want it to be like this." Clarke said, but Lexa was shaking her head and mouthing 'no.'

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking about things." Lexa's mind seemed to drift off as she gazed away from Clarke. She had been thinking about things, more specifically the night everything went wrong. She had considered the possible 'danger' being Azgeda or another clan that was particularly vicious. She couldn't imagine them taking on a dragon, let alone several. And she had never heard stories of battles against dragon riders. She had never heard of dragons or any animal like it at all. She remembered the first time she saw a dragon. She had screamed so much her throat had hurt for four days straight.

 _"Jess, it's okay. It is okay. He won't hurt you."_ Her foster mother had tried to reassure her. They had called her Jess, after the Chestnut Falls they had found her laying in. That was before she was able to communicate her real name. She kept screaming so much. She had upset Manfred, her foster mother's dragon. Manfred was a kind and old dragon, and Lexa was lucky to have encountered him first. Another dragon would not have taken so kindly to her terrified demeanor. She had avoided the animals for seven months after that _._ Slowly, though, she learned to trust them and even love them.

"What things?" Clarke asked. She watched Lexa's expression change with what she imagined being every inner conflict.

"The night I got here." She murmured. Clarke looked at her with startling clarity. Lexa winced when she noticed Clarke's attention. She didn't want to make a bigger issue out of it than it was. Her mind was simply elsewhere.

"Do you think the reason why those riders didn't come back is the same reason you lost your family?" Clarke asked. Lexa blinked rapidly as she had not thought of that possibility. She swallowed hard, trying to grasp the concept. Now, more than ever did she try to remember every detail of that night. She only had flashes of scenes, crumbled memories, huddled together in a disorganized blob. The feeling of the water and seeing Anya float away were most predominant. She screwed her eyes shut not sure whether she was calling to the memories or fighting their presence.

"Lex?" Lexa hadn't realized how silent she had become until Clarke tried to reach her with more urgency. "Lexa?"

"Sorry." Lexa's chest heaved erratically. "I'm sorry." Just at that moment, Clarke spotted a small island and decided they should take a break. It was small, and uninhabited, like many of the others she had encountered.

"Let's take a break. Poly?" She spoke her dragon's name to indicate she wanted to land. The island was foggy and the ground remarkably humid. The island contained smelly swamps and trees grown close together. It was full of vines. They landed on a small patch of bare land next to a swamp. She doubted the water was palatable. She glanced at Lexa, who was still sitting on Aris, but this time seemed to be taking in her environment with newfound attention. No longer did she gaze into nothingness as her thoughts consumed her attention and energy.

"Let's eat a little huh?" Clarke reached up for Lexa and helped the brunette slide down from her dragon. She took out some salted jerky and handed it to Lexa. The brunette munched on the piece of meat while she took in her surroundings.

"Well, this definitely won't be on our future vacation list," Lexa muttered still absorbing its characteristics. Clarke was still worried about the conversation or rather non-conversation she and Lexa had had while they were flying.

"You want to go explore anyways?" Clarke asked which seemed to cheer Lexa up. Lexa looked at her with unambiguous clarity, rather than with numbed eyes that gazed at her for whichever answer she could not give.

"Try not to break anything," Lexa commanded when they huddled through the vines. "And don't step into the water. We don't know what kind of animals are here. Also, be care-"

"Lexa," Clarke chuckled as she looked over her shoulder and raised her eyebrows, telling the girl to be silent. "I got it. Come on, let's have some fun." Clarke started running and gliding over some vines, almost falling.

"That's not fun! Clarke!" Lexa ran after Clarke but soon started laughing as well as she noticed how disorienting it was with vines hanging down, and the ground crawling away from her feet. It reminded her of her times in the Azgeda territory. She would glide on frozen water. She glided forward so much that she bumped into Clarke, and they both fell into the sludgy ground beneath them. Clarke giggled.

"I don't know. This might be a fun vacation destination after all if the smell wasn't so bad." She said, lifting her arm and smelling her hand that had dipped into a small pool. She gagged when she brought her hand closer to her face. "I'm going to have to clean that. I don't know with what yet, but I need to." Clarke said while rounding her eyes wider with seriousness and disgust.

"This is true. There is no way that hand is coming anywhere near my vagina." Lexa deadpanned.

"Really? What if the smell never goes away?" Clarke teased.

"You'll have to use your other hand, and wear a glove on that one." Lexa shot back, while sitting up and resting her hands on her knees.

"But you like it when I use both." Clarke joked and came closer to Lexa. Lexa leaned back.

"I do, but- Clarke-" Clarke kept leaning closer and with one swift move almost wiped her hand across Lexa's face. Lexa, faster than Clarke, held her hand by her wrist. "Hell, no. That's not happening."

"I could surprise you at any time, Woods." Clarke threatened.

"I thought we already established you couldn't sneak up on me," Lexa grinned and by now she was standing up, but Clarke still had a mischievous look in her eyes. "Clarke-" Lexa warned, but Clarke sprung up and started chasing her. Not that either was going fast as the ground didn't allow such speed. They both stumbled out of the vines and back on the patch, they had landed on.

"Well, that wasn't much of an exploration," Lexa said, while circled around each other. "You know, you're going to lose. You always lose." Lexa stated. It was true. Clarke wasn't much of an opponent when it came to sparring. Lexa had after all been training most of her life, even if that training had stopped for five years. She had still trained on her own with the tactics she had learned.

"I can try," Clarke suggested, but Lexa shook her head.

"Or you could wash your hand in that swamp right there. It's at least more diluted than the sludge you laid in." Clarke straightened her back and peered behind Lexa. Then as if to have given up, she strolled past Lexa and dipped her hand in the swamp. Lexa remembered her own advice. They didn't know which animals lived in those swamps. "Clarke get some water out, but don't keep your hand in, we don't know what's in there." Clarke nodded then splashed the water at Lexa. Lexa glared at her girlfriend and crossed her arms to indicate she was not impressed. The water was less smelly than the sludge, but still had a poignant odor to it.

"That's for saying I was going to lose," Clarke smirked.

"Well, you were." Lexa retorted.

"Do you want me to wet you completely?" Clarke warned her, but Lexa bit her lip. Clarke realized how that sounded and how much ammunition she had just given Lexa.

"Really? Right here, right now?" Lexa strode closer to Clarke, her hips swinging from side to side, "Tempting my love, but I don't think this is the right place," Clarke laughed and shook her head.

"Too dirty?" Clarke replied, and they both laughed. Then Clarke cupped some water in her hands and washed the hand off as she had had enough of their playful banter. The smell was getting too much for her.

Lexa remembered they had some soap in a saddlebag and threw it at Clarke. Clarke grunted gratefully and after a minute or so, her hand was thoroughly cleaned.

She sat against Pol and patted the space between her legs, beckoning Lexa to sit there. The brunette smiled and molded into Clarke's shape. Clarke had expected Lexa's back to lay against her front but instead Lexa laid her head on Clarke's shoulder and wrapped her arms around her waist so that her chest was pressed against Clarke's abdomen. Clarke cradled her and heard Lexa's breath easing down.

"I love your breasts, so comfy," Lexa commented, and Clarke chuckled.

"I know, baby." Clarke stroked Lexa's head, and then kissed it. She didn't want Lexa to fall asleep. They still had some distance to cross, but she would allow them an hour to regain vitality.

* * *

 

"I'm afraid," Lexa said after a while. Clarke raised her head from where it was resting against Pol's belly. Clarke was still dragging her fingers through Lexa's curls.

"Of what?" Clarke questioned.

"What if the 'danger' is my home? Or it's the thing that separated me from everything I knew? I don't know if I'm ready. I'm afraid of how I will react." Lexa uttered into Clarke's chest. Clarke nodded and hoped to soothe her girlfriend as much as she could.

"These are worries about things that do not yet exist," Clarke said soundly. Lexa looked up at her and held her gaze, "But, whatever happens, I'll protect you." Lexa smiled. Clarke added, "We can leave and go home whenever you want. If this is too much for you, we can go back. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." Lexa breathed out ragged air and nodded. "I'll keep you safe," Clarke whispered into Lexa's hair. Lexa had never relied on someone to make her feel safe, she had been taught to do that for herself, and for most of the time that's what she did, but there were moments like these, where she appreciated Clarke's loving words. She knew there was not much Clarke could say, but she took comfort in it anyways.

"What if it is my people or-" Lexa was asking the same thing twice, and she knew Clarke would let her. "Sorry," She whispered, but Clarke kept listening to her. "It's like, I need to say because it keeps playing on my mind and I don't know how to turn it off." Lexa was frustrated.

"Baby," Clarke called Lexa's attention, "No one has ever heard of your people, or of you," Clarke said sadly. She wished it wasn't true. "I don't think the danger is your people," Clarke stated.

"You're right. It probably isn't. I never heard of dragons, so dragon riders disappearing have probably got nothing to do with them." Lexa didn't know if she was sad or relieved that the cause of these riders to disappear couldn't be her people. If it was, that meant her people still existed. They were reachable, but that also meant she would be bound by duty. If it wasn't, it meant there was no hope of finding her people. She lived with this constant struggle. She wanted to find her people and was so afraid she never would but at the same time the very thing that terrified her also gave her comfort, because that meant she could live her life with Clarke and not be bound to her people. She had struggled with this for years and more so now. Yet, she had never found the courage to tell Clarke everything. She had given Clarke bits and pieces of her past, but the most important thing, the fact that she was supposed to be Heda, was something she consistently left out, not just for Clarke's sake but her own.

"And if the danger separated you from your family, it might be able to give us insight on how to find them again, and for you to find justice," Clarke whispered, and Lexa nodded again. Lexa huffed. She pushed her head deeper into Clarke's flesh as if to hide there.

"Distract me?" Lexa asked, and it made Clarke's eyes twinkle. Clarke raised an eyebrow but received a shove from Lexa. "Not like that," Lexa muttered, but amusement stuck to her words. Clarke laughed and nodded.

"How about a game? I brought Petteia." Clarke smiled, and Lexa nodded.

"Later, though, I need to calm my heart, even though that is already a challenge when I am around you." Lexa joked weakly. Clarke giggled and kissed Lexa's nose.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

These are how I imagine the dragon's to look like. The artwork isn't mine, one is credited in the image and I could not find an author for the other, so whoever they belong to they deserve some serious kudos!

 

Pol                                                                                                  Aris

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad some of you are as excited about this story as I am :) 
> 
> Comments are always helpful so thank you to those that leave them. 
> 
> See you next time folks!


	4. Torn Bindings

They flew another three days, resting on various small islands before they reached the last island within Arkadia's territory. Clarke had taken it upon herself to name all the small islands withing Arkadia territory, after that, they would have to be more careful and not land on a whim.

They had gone to sleep for the night and as usual, Clarke and Lexa fell asleep entangled, each night a new position, whether it was Clarke holding Lexa or vice versa.

_"Leksa," She felt Anya's hand on her shoulder. "We should be arriving at dawn. Get some sleep,"_

_"I thought me becoming Heda kept you from ordering me around." Lexa teased her mentor, but Anya was not impressed. Before Anya could say anything more, the glass of their cabin broke and seawater flooded Lexa's vision." She didn't know what had happened, and soon enough she was struggling to keep consciousness. She let out a strangled scream as oxygen started to become a problem._

She woke up gasping with fresh tears on her cheeks as she felt Clarke running her hand on Lexa's back.

"It's okay. You're safe." She whispered, but Lexa could not keep her breath under control. It wasn't the first time she had dreamed about Anya and how they had been separated so many years ago. Though the dream wasn't entirely accurate of what had happened that night, her dreams never were, it still shook her to the core. The feeling of drowning was the only memory that was not clouded, which she was less than grateful for. 

"Hey," Clarke said, cupping Lexa's cheeks. "It's okay." She said again, and Lexa buried her face in Clarke's neck. She hated being this way. She normally only had a dream like this when she was extremely stressed, which rarely happened. This was the second time she needed Clarke's comfort in the span of a few days, while knowing that without it, she would not find rest.

"Sorry," She muttered after a few minutes as she had regained some sense of peace. Clarke was petting Lexa's hair as she cradled her head with one arm.

"Don't apologize." She said then finally looked at her girlfriend. Clarke ran her hands up and down Lexa's arms and then sighed pensively.

"You're not okay with this are you?" Clarke asked. Lexa wanted to lie and say, no she was. She wanted to be, but she couldn't deny the guilt that was writing itself on her face. Clarke nodded understandingly.

They would only have expanded the maps on a two-day ratio, simply assessing the shape of the territories they encountered. 

"No, we can-" Lexa said weakly although she knew her stress levels were high. She shook her head momentarily and grasped Clarke's forearm. "Tensions with Eagle Bay are rising," She said, and Clarke's face turned to a shade of melancholia. It had been a problem for some time. The Eagle Bayers hadn't taken the domestication of dragons well. "If anything, we need to do this for-" She was repeating what Clarke had told her to convince her. They needed to do this in case things got worse, and they would need to find new alliances.

"It's only a two-day ratio," Lexa said not sure whether she had said it more to herself, to convince herself, or to Clarke. Clarke brushed two hair strands behind Lexa's ear.

"It is, but if you're not okay after what I told you-"

"No, we're doing this." Lexa hardened her face though she couldn't fool Clarke. Clarke had witnessed every kind of mask Lexa had tried to conjure up. She saw right through her every time.

"Lex," She whispered, but the brunette shook her head stubbornly. "We don't-"

"Just don't die." Lexa barked, taking Clarke by surprise. So that's what this was really about.

"I won't," Clarke stated knowing she couldn't exactly guarantee that. She hugged Lexa tightly and whispered soothing words in her ear until she felt the brunette's shoulders sag with tranquility. Lexa puffed feeling frustrated but more at ease. Lexa tensed in Clarke's embrace again which made the blonde frown. Before she knew it Lexa had reached for what was now Clarke's dagger, but still felt natural in her hand, and turned around bending over Clarke defensively. Next, they were rudely interrupted by a girl's voice.

"So, you two _are_ going past this point." A girl's voice echoed through the air. Whoever had broken their intimate moment had managed to get close enough before Lexa had reacted. Lexa cursed herself mentally for being such an easy prey to stalk.

"Who's there?" She growled, while her hand hovered in front of Clarke protectively. At the same time, both Aris and Pol woke up and gnarled while exhaling hot air from their noses. Then a girl with sun-kissed skin strode out from behind a tree with a smooth rhythm. She had tools in her hand and smirked.

"No need for violence." She said. Aris sniffed at her and then shrugged her black shoulders and went back to sleep. "See?" The girl simpered. 

"Raven?" Lexa asked faintly recognizing the girl that had found her the night she had turned up at Arkadia, well she had turned up at one of the islands around Arkadia. She hadn't seen the girl since that night but still remembered her vividly. The girl looked older but still had the same features, the same cocky smile. She only really remembered the girl's features because she couldn't understand what Raven had been saying to her the first time she met her, that was beside her name, which she animatedly had described to be Raven.

Clarke peeked from behind Lexa with a wary expression.

Raven stepped closer to the fire and examined the face of the girl who had spoken her name. Then, swiftly, comprehension marked her face and she arched her eyebrows so high it formed deep creases on her forehead.

"You're-" She didn't know Lexa's name, and she was surprised the girl had remembered hers.

"I'm Lexa." She answered, "Do you remember me?" Lexa asked doubtfully, and Raven slowly sat down. The cockiness that she had embodied before had dissipated. She promptly examined Lexa with newfound gravity in her eyes.

"Yeah." She breathed, blinking a few times.

"Lex?" Clarke whispered, grasping Lexa's elbow from behind to find some kind of comfort. Lexa looked over her shoulder and smiled warmly in a way only Clarke could see she was smiling at her. Clarke's shoulders released their strain, but Clarke frowned apprehensively.

"This is the girl that found me five years ago." Lexa voiced slowly. Judging from Clarke's expression the blonde had not expected that answer. She widened her eyes and looked over Lexa's shoulder examining the brunette. Her hands were dirty which confused Clarke, given the time of night.

"You speak English," Raven acknowledged which made both Lexa and Clarke turn away from each other and face her.

"I learned," Lexa replied. After a beat, she asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I live here. I'm- well my mother was a border guard, and this is a border." Clarke licked her lips and glanced at Lexa.

"I thought the post had been abandoned for years, and people moved to the Northern Islands because this is a dead trading route?" Clarke questioned.

"It is, no one ever comes to this Island, especially from the East-" There was no point in trading with this island because as far as common knowledge went, the island was not inhabited and it was too far away from the main Island. The body of water that bordered the Island on the East was an unknown route on which people disappeared if they dared to travel it. It had become renown and accused of being haunted. 

Raven added when she looked at Lexa "Except for you that is." Clarke's mouth fell open and looked at Lexa. As far as anyone knew, 'the stranger' had been found on one of the Polaris isles around Arkadia. This made so much more sense.

"I hope you're not planning on flying further East," Raven inquired, and Clarke shrugged but shook head eventually. Their plan was to come to the furthest border to the East and then fly a two-day ratio south. That had also been a condition laid out by everyone and Clarke had agreed. The maps where it had been rumored possible territories could be found firstly did not indicate East, but South-East, and secondly, her father had forbidden her to go further East, past their borders. 

"No, South," Clarke answered. Raven nodded.

"Good, it's not safe, no one comes back from there," Raven stated seemingly relieved. "My mother saw too many of her people disappear in that fog," Raven muttered and made both Lexa and Clarke frown. She glanced at the two and sheepishly stood up, "I'm sorry to have disturbed you, but I'm supposed to keep people from going East. As I have made sure, you are not, I'll leave you to it." Raven said respectfully and made way to turn around.

"Wait," Lexa said shakily. Raven had found her. She had never been able to talk to her. "Please, sit. I never got to thank you for saving my life." Raven hesitantly turned around and sat back down. She remembered the night she had found Lexa distinctly. The girl had barely been breathing as she washed ashore.

"My mother did most of the work. I simply found you." She stated, but Lexa still insisted.

"Be that as it may, I owe you a life Raven," She said formally. Clarke could still not believe that it was this island and not another. 

"How come everyone thinks they found you on one of the Polaris Isles?" Clarke asked Lexa, but the brunette shook her head a grimaced, indicating she didn't know. She then glanced at Raven so she could silently ask the same question.

"Polaris?" Raven asked, and Clarke raked her heels into the ground awkwardly.

"They didn't really have a name and with the volcanic activity and eruptions we've had over the last twenty-five years, I figured I'd name them for practical reasons," Clarke explained. "Unless, you know their original name?" Clarke inquired, but Raven shook her head.

"No, uh-" Raven's brain was scattered, and Lexa nearly became impatient.

"So?" Lexa voiced, and Raven regained her wits and continued. She scratched the back of her head and sighed while she quickly glanced at them both.

"We told them we found you somewhere else, because we weren't supposed to be here, and we weren't exactly doing legal things either," Raven said carefully. She closed her eyes. Her mother had been using the island's unused port to traffic things for the black market. They couldn't tell them where they had found Lexa without revealing why they had been there in the first place.

"How so?" Clarke asked. Raven shifted sheepishly.

"Look, we collected things from the sea. We made things out of them and sold them to the black market." She said vaguely. Clarke's mouth fell.

"What kind of things?" Clarke challenged.

"Anything really," Raven sighed. "We needed to eat, and my mom made it her purpose in life to live here, to see if anyone returned and to keep anyone from going out there. My dad disappeared that way." She mumbled.

"I'm sorry," Lexa said solemnly. Clarke put a hand on Lexa's thigh. She could feel her girlfriend's soundless questions vibrating under her skin.

Raven, by then, had started playing with the fire while glancing at their dragons from time to time. They were sleeping soundly, but she still watched them uneasily.

"So you never found anyone else?" Lexa murmured, but she already knew the answer. Raven looked up and shook her head. Lexa breathed in tightly.  "What about wreckage?" Lexa asked trying to keep her voice low, "Or objects lying next to me?" she added, and Raven creased her forehead.

"I'm sorry, Lexa," Raven said genuinely. Lexa had never been allowed to ask these questions, and now that she the answers, the brim of hope that had been left had become extinguished for good. Lexa turned her head and swallowed deep, hoping she would flush the sting in the back of her throat. She guarded her movements and hardened her face, which wasn't surprising.

Then she stood up and nodded. "I'm going for a walk," She whispered to Clarke and allowed her mouth to twitch upwards as a sign of reassurance. Raven watched her walk away with a pain expression, and then something clicked.

"Wait, I do have some of your torn clothes." She offered. She knew it was a weak offer, but it was the only thing she still had. She had kept it even though her mother had told her to throw them away. They were bloody and ragged after all.

Lexa turned around, gazing at the brunette, then nodded, keeping her intensity.

"Okay, cool." Raven stuttered, "Follow me." 

They followed her to a rope ladder. Clarke looked up, but it was too dark for her to distinguish anything.

"We're going up?" Clarke questioned.

"Yeah, I've got a tree house. It's safer." Raven muttered and started climbing. Clarke looked at Lexa and smiled encouragingly. The brunette had been tense the whole way to the ladder. She stepped closer to her girlfriend and rubbed her arm.

"You tell me when you want to leave, okay?" Clarke asked, and Lexa gave her a curt nod. Clarke then turned around and puffed when she looked at the ladder. The sight of Clarke grumbling after she took the first step made Lexa momentarily forget how restless she was feeling, and crack a smile.

"Just my luck huh," Clarke muttered to herself. Then a few steps later she again whispered, "I wish Poly could've just flown me up." Clarke wasn't out of shape, but the rope asked for particularly strong arm muscles, something Clarke didn't possess. She was more of a runner.

"Poly can't fly between these dense trees, Clarke." Lexa voiced which made Clarke look down between her legs.

"You know, you could've gone up before me."

"And why is that my love?" Lexa asked softly. Even though she enjoyed her playful banter with Clarke, she felt exhausted now, first from her nightmare, then from the newfound information, and now from possibly regarding her old clothes.  

"Because you always get to look at my ass, and I would've liked the opportunity." Clarke flirted which made Lexa snort. Clarke was grateful for the sound, but Lexa knew what she was doing.

"Your flirting has the most awkward timing baby." She smiled fondly. "I know what you're doing," Lexa stated, but Clarke hummed and feigned ignorance.

* * *

 

Breathe, she told herself before she entered Raven's hut. Clarke was staring at her from inside the hut with a sensitive smile. Lexa's guarded expression didn't reveal anything, but Clarke could always read Lexa's eyes. Lexa swallowed and entered the hut slowly. Raven was still taking some things out of a chest, and then revealed a ragged shirt, covered in dry blood stains. She took out dark pants and even pieces of binding that were covered in most of the blood stains, in fact, they were more reddish than white. They had given her her dagger to keep when she had arrived at Arkadia, but they had clothed her in fresh garments.

Lexa 's fingers shook as she dragged them over the fabric.

Raven then cursed herself mentally for forgetting one other thing. She guiltily took it out of a pouch.

"I also found this in the bed we had laid you in. You weren't supposed to leave it behind, but you accidentally did and by the time I realized, I wasn't allowed to contact you again, nor did I know how. My mother...she didn't want to leave the island for a small trinket." Raven said taking out a wooden hair barrette. 

You could tell it had been carefully sculpted, and you could faintly recognize a pattern of flowers. It was broken on one side, and the pin was missing. Lexa's neutral expression only for a moment crumbled when she regarded the intrinsic piece of her past and gasped. She didn't even understand how she was holding it now. How had this survived, when Anya, Indra, or Gustus hadn't?

Clarke stepped closer to Lexa when she sensed her distress while  Raven feeling uncomfortable, excused herself and left the couple alone.

Clarke looked behind her and watched as Raven climbed further up the tree to a terrace she had built out of hardwood. She glanced back at her girlfriend and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Baby?" She tightened her grasp on Lexa's shoulder when she felt her shaking. "Hey," Clarke wrapped her hand around Lexa's and twirled Lexa towards her. She brushed some curls out of her face and studied her eyes.

"I-" Lexa sighed, squeezing the hair barrette in her hand. "I need air." Lexa was still holding onto it as she strolled past Clarke. She placed the barrette inside her jacket and climbed down. She was thankful for the moon shining so brightly, or she would've missed a step or two in her emotional frenzy.

She found the dragons and quickly walked towards Aris, who had sensed Lexa's anxiety and had sat up rapidly. She blinked attentively as she watched Lexa breathe out and pace in front of her. Then she locked eyes with Aris and climbed on top of her. Feeling Lexa's fingers dig into her thick skin, Aris took off as she believed that is what Lexa wanted. Aris flew them to another part of the island, while Lexa clung onto the familiarity of Aris' skin. She convinced herself the tears that were streaming down her cheeks were a result of the wind, which was biting into her cheeks.

She finally located a spot that she felt comfortable with. They landed, and she watched or rather listened to the waves colliding with the cliffs beneath her. She looked out at the sea, which she could barely make out.

So that's where she had come from, a body of water so haunted even rational thought held not place within it. She curled into Aris and held the barrette close to her heart. However small it was, she took comfort in its wooden surface. Soon after, she embraced her exhaustion and fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

 

She woke up startled when Aris had moved slightly.

"It's okay. You're safe." She heard Clarke say before she whipped her head towards her girlfriend. Clarke smiled lightly at her and crawled to where she was sitting.

Lexa sighed, she couldn't keep feeling and acting like a victim. Shit happened, and she desperately wanted to get over it. It was a weakness to dwell on such feelings.

When Clarke sat next to her, she wanted to wrap her arms around Lexa, but Lexa flinched. Clarke awkwardly retracted her arm and tried not to feel too hurt by the reaction. Lexa opened her mouth feeling regretful, but she didn't want to be cared for. She didn't want to feel this weak, not even if Clarke's embrace would have made her feel as if everything would fall into place.

"Sorry," She whispered, but Clarke shook her head.

"It's okay. Tell me what you need?" Clarke asked, but Lexa only stared at her, not really knowing how to meet that request. "Do you want to go? Just go home?" Clarke asked, and Lexa was so ready to say yes, but she knew how much it meant to Clarke to simply expand their maps, if only by a few kilometers.

So instead, she opted for a compromise, "Can we do a one-day ratio instead?" She husked. Clarke cocked her head sideways and smiled warmly. Her eyes twinkled full of understanding and respect.  

"Of course," Clarke stated. Lexa smiled gratefully and covered Clarke's hand with hers.

After a while, Clarke tempted to rest her head on Lexa's shoulder. The brunette sighed when she felt Clarke's nose against her shoulder. It took a few minutes but eventually Lexa felt relieved, as she had expected.

"We'll make sure we're well rested before we make the trip. A day out and a day back is still a long time for us humans." Clarke whispered, and she felt Lexa nod as the brunette had rested her chin on top of Clarke's head. It was nearly dawn now, and neither had slept much. They decided they wouldn't fly out the next coming day, but the day after so that they could rest and Lexa could recover from their most recent night.

Clarke also wanted to get to know Raven. She had lived here her whole life. She had to know something about the surroundings. Anything at all would be new information to them. Clarke had already prepared her pack with charcoal and paper, on which she would draw the newfound territories if they found any. They decided not to land on uncharted territories, unless it was absolutely necessary, as they didn't know who populated these areas, and if said people would even welcome strangers.

If it were Clarke, she would be suspicious if total strangers arrived in Arkadia claiming to seek knowledge as Clarke and Lexa were. So, she wouldn't be surprised if they would be 'welcomed' in the same way were it ever to come that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any questions (since I know not everything is explained) feel free to ask them :)
> 
> See ya next time folks :)


	5. Tales and stories

Their rest was not as peaceful as they had expected. The day had been stormy. Dark clouds gathered, and they ended up helping Raven move her food stock to a safer place. She had saved Lexa all those years ago. It was the least they could do, Clarke thought.

Once they were dry and Raven cooked a meal for all of them, Clarke vowed Raven would always have a place at Arkadia were she ever to decide to leave the island. Raven had declined, saying someone had to guard the island. It had been her grandmother before her mother, and it would be her now.

After dinner, Raven had taken out her bottle of Moonshine and had shared it with the couple. They laughed and rejoiced in each other's tales. Clarke had told her about the language barrier they had had in the beginning.

"You should have seen her face." Clarke chuckled as she told the story of the first time she had called Lexa 'baby.'

"We do not infantile our loved ones." Lexa shrugged, though she had taken the habit of calling Clarke just that from time to time. "It was quite unsettling to hear you say it in the middle of sex," Lexa growled feeling as if she had to come to her own defense.

Clarke's laughter was infectious, though, and Lexa was tightening her lips to contain the roaring in her chest. She snorted eventually and burst out into giggles. The alcohol had put her mask on fire, and she felt the ashes of her walls fluttering down.

"Do you still speak it?" Raven asked remembering her brief encounter with the language. Lexa tensed.

"Not as I once did," Lexa stated. Not practicing Trigedasleng after years on end had taken a toll on her ability to speak it. She knew if someone spoke it to her now, she would be able to answer perfectly, but the language had started feeling unnatural in her mouth. She still wrote in Trigedasleng, but often she found herself mixing English with Trigedasleng in her diary as a hybrid.

"You used to speak it in your sleep," Clarke revealed. Lexa nodded. It was when they had just started sleeping together. It had ceased after a few months. When Clarke had asked her why Lexa had simply answered, her dreams had finally settled. She believed what she had told Clarke. In her heart she knew, her whole body and soul had stopped bleeding after she had met Clarke and they had gotten serious. She had stopped planning on how to return, how to survive, and had started living.

"I still remember that night." Raven stared ahead. They all knew what night she was referring to. Lexa's shoulder muscles instantly turned hard. She clenched her jaw and drew her brows together.

"Raven?" Lexa murmured. The girl looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Yes," She replied seriously, sensing Lexa's tone.

"Could you tell me exactly what happened that night?" Lexa asked. She had avoided the subject the last two days, but now, with the subject of her native language in the back of her mind, she told herself she would regret not asking Raven while she still could.

Raven gulped down her Moonshine and nodded.

"There was an awful storm that night." She murmured.

_"Rae, I need you to go down the beach and make sure our supplies aren't being washed away," Lilliana told her daughter. The fifteen-year-old rounded her eyes in what looked like disbelieving apprehension._

_"Mom, I can't go out there." Lillian sighed at Raven's words._

_"If you don't, and the supplies wash away, we don't eat this month. I need to check the other side of the island. Rae, please-" She sighed as she swallowed her words and considered leaving her daughter inside and safe while she did it all on her own. "You're right, you stay-"_

_"No," Raven argued. "Sorry, I'm sorry. That was inconsiderate." She said preparing herself to face the water that was pouring down the island and washing ashore. Lilliana grasped Raven's shoulders when the brunette had covered herself and hugged her tightly._

_"You'll be fine, we've had worse storms than this." She stated and climbed out of the tree house with Raven above her. Before they parted, she hugged her daughter and whispered 'I love you' to her in case she wouldn't make it. She knew in her mind they both would, but a paranoid feeling crept up her neck and made her act as though she didn't know for certain._

_Raven hurried to the East Beach and started dragging the supplies inland. She saw a dark spot on the beach near the water. She squinted her eyes. When the lightning struck, it illuminated the beach, and she could make out a body. Raven gasped and dropped the supplies. She ran on the hardened sand and found what she first thought was a dead man. She dragged the body out of the water and cried overwhelmed with thoughts of death. She turned the body and then noticed it was a young girl, not much younger than her, which caused the tears to spur, making it impossible to distinguish them from the rain._

_She was sobbing, and with a shaking index finger, she tried to find a pulse. It's what her mother had taught her to do if they were to find drowning victims on their beaches. Then she found it, a faint quiver beneath the skin. She gasped and looked around._

_"Mom!" She yelled though she was unsure why as her mother was on the other side of the island. She was weeping and shaking as she took the girl's body into the woods and kept yelling for her mother, hoping she would eventually hear her._

_"Raven!" Her name materialized into a questioning shrill. Her mother ran towards her thinking something had happened to her daughter. That's when she noticed the body. "What happened?" Lilliana was frantic._

_"I found her, but she's alive." Raven stuttered as her lips still shivered. Her chest was heaving hysterically, both from fear as from exhaustion. "Mom!" Raven barked, and Lilliana jumped into action. She hoped she wouldn't harm the girl by moving her, even though her daughter had already done just that._

_She carried her on her back and placed her in what they used to raise supplies up the tree house. It was large enough and could hold the slim body. She had told Raven to go upstairs and secure the rope while Lilliana would climb. She had never climbed so fast in her life, not even when a crocodile tempted to have her for breakfast._

_She heaved the frail body out of the cart and placed her inside with tenderness. She checked if the pulse was still there and was happy when she located the fragile thump._

_"It's okay, honey," She whispered to the still unconscious girl. She was bleeding from the head, and her sides had been slashed. Her body was battered with bruises. Lilliana couldn't fathom how this girl had survived. Then, as she was sterilizing the needle to suture the wounds, she snapped her face towards Raven._

_"Where did you find her?" She questioned. Raven blinked a few times, as she was still trying to keep her mind from scattering._

_"I-" She closed her eyes in what looked like concentration and said, "East Beach," She pronounced the words with astonishment that mirrored her mother's expression._

_"_ East _Beach?" Lilliana echoed, "But that's impossible." She stated looking back at the girl who she had cloaked in thick blankets to get her temperature up. She gasped but then remembered she still needed to treat this girl. She started suturing her wounds and placed healing leaves on the skin. Then she checked the head wound and winded dressing around her head._

_She wished she could have created a fire, but it would have been too dangerous to do so now. She rubbed the girl's body and told Raven to lie with her as she lied on the other side. It had taken a day before Lexa woke up._

_"Anya?" She had mumbled before her eyes fluttered. Lilliana sat on the side of the cot and checked Lexa's temperature that had now gone down from the fever she had developed a few hours earlier. Lexa looked around, her wild green eyes jumping from one location to another. She then tried to sit up, but Lilliana held her down. "Chon yu bilaik?" Lexa sounded angry._

_"Shh, it's okay," Lilliana stated telling herself she simply imagined the strange words emerging from Lexa's lips. Lilliana's words, however, did not seem to have the desired reaction, as the fourteen-year-old only appeared more distressed. Her chest was heaving rapidly, but her face remained stoic. Lilliana offered Lexa some water, but the girl regarded the liquid with suspicion._

_"It's water," Lilliana assured her, but the girl didn't waver. She sighed and then took a sip of the water as she assumed correctly that the girl had been paranoid. When nothing happened Lexa visibly slumped into her pillow and nodded. She drank the liquid eagerly even though it burned her throat._

_"Can you tell me your name?" Lilliana asked, but Lexa looked at her uneasily. What the woman didn't know is that Lexa didn't understand a word of what she was saying. Just as Lilliana was about to try again, Raven walked in and drew all the attention to her. Lexa regarded her attentively as if she was anticipating being attacked. Lilliana knitted her brows together in utter confusion._

_"This is my daughter Raven." She stated and evidently, Lexa did not respond. Raven smiled and waved awkwardly._

_She sat down next to her mother and asked, "Has she said anything?" Her mother scowled at her as if to silently remind her daughter that the girl she was speaking of was in their presence. "I mean," She cleared her throat and looked at Lexa, "Hi, you really dodged a spear there." She was awkward, to say the least._

_"She needs more rest, I think. Call for me if you need anything." She said to Lexa. Lexa pushed her head back trying to remember what had happened._

"After we had realized you weren't going to speak, we changed your clothes-" Lexa smirked a little at what Raven mentioned. She remembered putting up a fight until she realized all they wanted was to offer her fresh clothes. She had snatched the clothes from them and put them on herself, even if it had meant hurting herself in the process.

"Then we escorted you to Arkadia, thinking that was best," Raven stated. Lexa sighed and nodded.

"Thank you," Lexa said genuinely. The story had not upset her as she had anticipated it would. Instead, she felt a sense of nostalgia for whom she had been and maybe for whom she still was. It was as she had been reacquainted with an old friend, old self.

Clarke placed her hand on Lexa's back and rubbed the naked flesh at the hem of her shirt. She watched Lexa and smiled.

"I think we'll head to sleep. Thank you, Raven." Clarke said trying to convey her acknowledgment into every syllable. Raven awkwardly nodded and tightened her lips.

That night, they curled up to their dragons once more that night and waited for the morning to come.

* * *

 

For Lexa, her night rest had been full of tremors and shadowed dreams. Even though she had not woken up throughout the night, her dreams had exhausted her. She was thankful for Aris the next morning. The dragon looked at her as if she were to vow to keep Lexa safe even if the brunette were to fall asleep on Aris' back.

"Are you ready?" Clarke asked coming from behind. She put her hand on the small of Lexa's back, grateful for the warmth she found. Lexa hummed.

"Yes," She murmured. She was fastening the belt of Aris' saddle until she felt Clarke nuzzle into her neck. She simpered and looked sideways to find blue eyes staring at her and Clarke's lips curled into a playful smile.  She spun around slowly and wrapped her hands around Clarke's waist. She pressed her forehead against Clarke and sighed out. Whether the breath was of contempt or anticipation was unclear. Perhaps it was a mixture of both. The feeling of Clarke's skin, however, had no question behind it. It felt warm and comforting like it always had.

"Twenty-four hours," Lexa whispered as if to remind herself. Or conceivably it was to convince herself.

"No more," Clarke's tone was resolute. They had agreed to shorten their journey by three days as recent revelations told Clarke she needed to take Lexa home. They were supposed to fly out for forty-eight hours multiple times, in different directions, as that was their dragon's limit. As for their limit, they had managed to make a system on how to take turns sleeping. Lexa had constructed belts to keep their bodies secure while one rested and the other kept the dragons on course. And of course kept watch.

Now, however, Clarke had told Lexa they would only take one trip out so they wouldn't waste the journey, and after that, she would take Lexa home. In fact, she had wanted to take Lexa home a few nights ago, but Lexa had insisted on going out once at least. Clarke had sensed Lexa's determination and perhaps the possibility of guilt the girl would feel if she kept Clarke from completing the mission she set out.

"We can still go home now," Clarke tried one last time, testing the waters. Lexa pulled back and knitted her brows together in what looked like annoyance.

"We're here for a reason. We won't have another chance to do this again. We'll regret it if we don't do one at least." Lexa's tone was unwavering. Clarke reached out and tucked a thick curl behind Lexa's ear before she leaned in a pecked Lexa's lips.

"I won't be angry-"

"Clarke," Lexa snapped a little. The brunette closed her eyes and breathed in sharply. "Please," She gritted her teeth. Clarke blinked and nodded. She took a step back, but Lexa grabbed her wrist. "I-" She stuttered, "My feelings have been muddled these last few days. I won't lie. It's shaken me, but this is something we were going to do together. I'd feel better about this whole trip knowing it was useful for any other reason than discovering how things unfolded that night." Lexa stated. Clarke's eyes softened and nodded. She knew at that moment that she would keep herself from mentioning it in the near future, at least until they were back home. Clarke nodded and dragged Lexa into another kiss, this time with more fervor to it.

They smiled when they ended their brief moment, and each climbed on their dragon. They had bid their goodbye to Raven the night before as the time of the departure was still early.

They flew for eight hours without exchanging many words. They were both tired and enjoyed each other's presence without needing to make conversation every minute of every hour. By the ninth hour, Clarke huffed. Lexa looked at her with arched eyebrows.

"Are you alright, Clarke?" She asked with a teasing tone.

"Yes," Clarke almost whined. "I'm simply bored, my love." She said articulating the last word particularly. They had not come across any solid earth until that point.  "And a little cold," She muttered. Lexa chuckled and rubbed her hands together.

The blonde looked at her girlfriend with more expectation now and pouted. "What?" Lexa simpered.

"Tell me a story." Clarke puffed which made Lexa snort.

"What kind of story?"

"Any kind," Clarke's voice turned an octave higher, and Lexa could see her girlfriend had grown weary. "You used to tell me stories about your culture," Clarke said absent-mindedly but instantly regretted it. After what happened these last few days, she knew Lexa wasn't too keen on discussing her native culture. As expected, Lexa looked at Clarke and smiled.

"Alright," She murmured, which surprised Clarke. She had anticipated Lexa to guard her emotions. Clarke grinned while she thought of what she wanted to hear.

"Tell me the story of the Spirit of rain again," Clarke murmured. She loved the mythology Lexa had grown up with. She had enjoyed hearing the stories of the countless Spirits guarding over their land, including the Spirit of light and wisdom who reincarnated into their leader every generation as a bridge between the spirits and the humans.

Lexa smiled, it was always one of Clarke's favorites. "Kondaw Spirit of Rain," She murmured and smiled to herself. Clarke's immense curiosity about her culture had made sure she did not forget the stories.

"Long ago, Kondaw, also known as the Spirit of women, gave birth to nine daughters; each had a special ability to nurture the earth." Lexa began, and Clarke sighed with contempt. Lexa continued as she looked over at her girlfriend, "For example, one made the flowers grow; another made the oceans rise and fall." She waved her hands as she told the story.

"They brought peace and prosperity to the people and the spirits. They lived in harmony for hundreds of years until, the Spirit of Fire, Fue, who had grown jealous of their powers and wanted to claim them for himself, murdered Kondaw's daughters, one by one." Lexa's tone grew serious which made Clarke smile. Even though Lexa was usually not very talkative, she had a way with words. She told her stories beautifully. So well, Clarke could listen to her for hours, partly because she enjoyed hearing Lexa's voice. She observed everything, from the slight husk to a change in tone.

"The jealousy had turned Fue evil and dark. He seduced the firstborn, Yara, by offering her a golden flower, each day. Once he had gained her trust, he killed her with swift fire. Fue vowed he would kill all of Kondaw's daughters before the year was over. After the death of her first born, Kondaw lived in fear and month by month that fear grew real, and she would find another daughter murdered by the same fire that had taken her first. By the end of twelve months, what is now known as the passage to winter, all nine daughters were gone. Although they all treaded carefully after Yara had been killed, Fue had found new cunning ways, each time he plotted his murder." Lexa's voice lowered which made Clarke shudder. Suddenly, her thoughts, as her mind shifted from the story to a more arousing setting as a consequent of Lexa's tone, distracted her.

The arousal was brief as Lexa raised her voice threateningly after not having noticed Clarke's changed mindset, "Struck with grief, Kondaw _cried_ out!" She yelled and continued with, "Her anger and bitterness transformed into thunder and lightning, and her tears transformed into violent rainstorms." Clarke snorted under her breath and scolded herself for getting distracted. This was after all her favorite story, and Lexa was putting all her effort into telling it.

She readjusted her body and watched her girlfriend with determined eyes as Lexa passionately said, "She cried for a hundred years, so much the oceans rose, and the earth disappeared." Lexa's tone hushed, and she lowered her back while looking at Clarke with piercing green eyes as if she was cautioning the blonde, "Soon the rain turned into snow as her anguish frosted as a result of her resentment towards the Fire Spirit. The oceans descended and the earth reappeared."

A smile appeared on Lexa's face as she said, "Her grief smoothened and softened with the years, and soon she reclaimed the duties her daughters had left her and made the Earth whole again. However, now and then, her grievous scars burn and push her to light the sky and pour down on the earth with vicious retribution." Lexa raised her arms and brought them down with one swift movement, "Once the scars soothe again, she allows the sun to permeate the clouds and feed its beams to the soil and the creatures beneath." Lexa smiled, content with herself and the story she had told.

She looked at Clarke but started to feel awkward when her girlfriend didn't say anything.

"What?" She asked heaving her shoulders. Clarke blinked and shook her head.

"Sorry, that was great," Clarke said as she bit her lip. She stared at the girl until Lexa felt self-conscious once more.

"Clarke, hello? Are you there?" Lexa asked, her breath containing chuckles. Clarke huffed and kicked herself for suddenly becoming so entranced by both Lexa and the story.

"Yes, I'm just- I'm recuperating. The story has an effect on me," She stated which made Lexa smile softly, then Clarke added, "And you do too." Clarke blushed. Lexa didn't try to contain her toothy grin.

She said as she looked at Clarke from beneath her eyelashes, "Too bad I can't take advantage of that effect right now." Clarke laughed at that statement.

"Soon, my love, you'll have me all to yourself." Clarke flirted and more than anything she wanted to kiss Lexa. Lexa held a playful smile on her lips as she looked ahead. Then her eyes became apprehensive as Clarke noticed the smile fading. She looked ahead and saw a thin strip of land, barely big enough to hold more than fifty people. It had a small patch of trees on the West side.

She looked at Lexa, but the brunette shook her head as Clarke took out the blank map she would draw on.

"We're not landing, Clarke," Lexa said when Clarke looked up again.

"I didn't say anything," Clarke said defensively in an octave higher. Lexa chuckled as she kept shaking her head and marked down the coordinates and the conditions of the island. "What? I didn't-" Clarke pouted but then backtracked, "It looks uninhabited..." Clarke treaded carefully as she saw Lexa drop her pencil on the paper and turn her head. She arched her eyebrow, which looked like to convey the sentence " _I knew this was coming."_

"It isn't part of the plan, my love," Lexa stated rationally.

"Populated land wasn't the plan because we're not properly prepared but-" Clarke argued, but she could see she was losing this battle.

"We don't know it's not populated." Lexa retorted, and Clarke pouted. She knew Lexa was right. She also had anticipated the temptation to explore if she ever saw a territory that had never been mapped by Arkadia.

"I know. You're right." Clarke huffed, and Lexa smirked. She wanted to wrap her arms around Clarke and kiss her, but that would be quite hard at this particular moment. They guided the Dragons West, to fly around the island, far enough, so they wouldn't alarm the possible population of their presence.

* * *

 

_Lexa closed the door behind her and hurried to her bed. When she let her eyes linger on her hands, which were covered in black blood, she broke down. She couldn't get the images of Luna or Mannos out of her head. She sobbed and before she knew it, her stomach turned, and she ran to her bedpan and emptied out the contents of her stomach. She dry heaved loudly as she heard the door creak. She could feel Titus' eyes burn into her back._

_"You've done well, Lexa." He murmured steadily._

Lexa gasped as she woke up on Aris' back.

"Baby?" Clarke whispered, loud enough so Lexa could hear her. Lexa could make out Clarke's face every time the dragons breathed out fire in steady intervals to illuminate their surroundings. Normally, both dragons could see during the night, but Pol had taken the habit while having Clarke as her rider.

"I'm fine. I'll take the next shift." She stated quickly as she cleared her throat. "Go to sleep." She swallowed deeply as she worked to keep her breathing under control. She knitted her brows together in what looked like confusion, because she hadn't dreamt of her conclave, or rather the wake of her conclave, since before she had turned up at Arkadia.

"Lex," Clarke sighed. "I'll go to sleep if you want to take the shift, but don't push me out." Clarke hesitantly put her words into shape. After having a few seconds to calm down, Lexa lowered her guard and dropped her shoulders.

"Sorry, I just had an unexpected dream." She sighed deeply. She was getting tired of these dreams as they were exhausting her. This whole journey had taken its toll on her.

"Want to tell me about it?" Clarke asked, and Lexa really wanted to tell her. She had already told Clarke about 'the commander' and the Spirit of Light, years ago. She had just failed to mention that she was that person. This wasn't the time to reveal that particular information. They were out in the middle of nowhere, which was already dangerous enough. She wouldn't add stress to the situation.

"Can I talk to you about it once we're home?" Lexa asked which surprised Clarke. She nodded quickly.

"Of course," Clarke crooned. She tried to go to sleep, but couldn't as Lexa stayed on her mind. The only thing that managed to give her peace were unanticipated memories, stirred by watching Lexa wake up from a dream.

She remembered the first time Lexa had stayed over.

_She snickered while Lexa laid on top of her, with her forehead resting against Clarke's. Clarke could not remember a time where she had felt more blissful than now. She pecked Lexa's lips and felt a growing smile as she continued the action._

_Almost immediately, words of love wanted to spur out, but she contained her feelings, considering it was too soon for that kind of revelation._

_"Are you sure this is okay?" Lexa asked as she stroked Clarke's hair tenderly. Lexa's gentle touches contrasted the rough lovemaking they had engaged with only a few minutes ago. She could still feel Lexa's wetness on her thigh._

_"Yes, I want you to be here," Clarke answered single-mindedly. "I need you." She whispered, and she wasn't lying. She wasn't sure how healthy it was to feel this way, but she missed Lexa most of the time the girl wasn't with her. She never wanted the night to end and wished to wake up in Lexa's arms._

_"What if someone finds us like this?" Lexa asked nervously which made Clarke sigh and shake her head. Clarke smiled endearingly at Lexa._

_"I don't care." Clarke's tone was unwavering. She leaned up for another kiss, this time with more passion. The kiss expelled her emotions with undertones of lust and impatience._

_"I just want you," Clarke said desperately between kisses and almost initiated what by then would have been round four. Lexa sighed with newfound eagerness into Clarke's mouth but still backed away regretfully._

_"I'm not exactly from the upper ring." She said with sad eyes, but Clarke cupped her face and flipped them around, so she was straddling Lexa._

_"You could be from Eagle Bay for all I cared." Clarke grasped Lexa's hands and placed them on her naked hips. "I want to be with you. No one is going to change that." She wanted Lexa to believe her. "My parents aren't what you think they are. Sure, my dad does not like dragon races because he thinks they are dangerous but they try to be in touch with the people. They would never reject you because you're from the lower ring." Clarke said avidly. Lexa was nervous about how the chief of the island would react when finding his daughter in bed with someone, not only from the lower ring but someone that didn't belong to Arkadia in the first place.  She might as well have been someone from Eagle Bay. She conceded though as she regarded the conviction Clarke held in her eyes._

_"Okay, I trust you," Lexa whispered, trusting Clarke's judgment. Trust did not come to her easily, but with Clarke, almost everything appeared easy. Clarke smiled and leaned down to kiss her. After that, they initiated another round of pleasure, which had both girls whimpering as their hands found a desirable spot. Soft gasps swallowed their words as the heat rose between them._

Clarke felt herself slip more into a deep sleep, and the sound of Pol's fire diminished into the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate any feedback you're willing to give. All the people that left comments and kudos on the last chapter, thank you :)  
> I will be updating Always one foot on the ground soon for those who are wondering, I've just been really busy. 
> 
> See you next time folks!


	6. Return to Arkadia

Clarke watched Lexa fly ahead. Her heart was beating faithfully now that they were heading home. Though Lexa had attempted at hiding her eagerness, Clarke watched her girlfriend ride Aris with more determination. She felt guilty for talking Lexa onto this trip. She had assumed the rumors about the East were just that, rumors. She hadn't planned on going to the East, not really. She wanted to go South-East, but she had also not planned on having those rumors confirmed. She had not anticipated this trip to dig up so much of Lexa's past. A part of her was happy Lexa had received some closure, but she could see that the girl had not taken it off her mind. She needed to speak to her father about all this. She breathed in the salty air and closed her eyes for a second.

They were almost home, only a few hours away. Clarke was exhausted. She imagined Lexa felt the same judging from the bags under her eyes and the strained tension in her back. They had been flying for 48 hours straight on their expedition and only had one day of rest before journeying another 48 hours to return home.

"Clarke?" Clarke heard Lexa's voice and snapped her eyes open. The brunette was flying sideways now and looked at her with concerned eyes.

"What is it?" Clarke asked.

"You were falling asleep, I think. Do you want to take a break on one of the Polaris Isles or at least strap yourself to the saddle, so you don't fall?" Lexa asked. Clarke's skin fluttered with warmth when she looked at Lexa's expression. Even after the week Lexa had had, she still managed to protect and consider Clarke first. 

Clarke cleared her voice and nodded. She started strapping herself to the saddle, though one of the straps seemed to have broken when they took off from the Eastern border. She grimaced a little and looked guiltily at Lexa.

"I guess I'll just have to manage." She smiled hoping to convince Lexa, but the girl's inherent nature did just what Clarke had expected it to. She scowled at her and indicated for them to land.

"Lex, let's just go home," Clarke whined, but Lexa did not grace her with an answer, she simply gestured for Clarke to land. Clarke growled under her breath and told Pol to initiate a landing. As she was closing the distance between the ground and herself, Lexa jumped off Aris and landed on top of Pol, right behind Clarke. The dragon screeched, and so did Clarke.

"Fuck!" Clarke cursed as she tried to recompose herself. She looked behind her and slapped Lexa's arm consistently. She screamed and puffed. "I hate it when you do that!" Clarke yelled while crossing her arms. "Agh!" She growled. Lexa's lender arms, which were circling Clarke's waist, soothed Clarke's anxious heartbeat and brought it back to soft but steady rhythm.

"I hate it when you do that," Clarke muttered, and Lexa chuckled. Clarke felt the brunette's tickling breath on her neck before she made out distinct lips attaching themselves to the skin above her pulse point.

"I know, but you appear to be more awake as a result." Lexa purred in Clarke's ear. Clarke huffed but leaned into Lexa. Clarke looked over at Aris, who seemed to be having the time of her life, flying erratically through fitful shapes of the rocks resting on top of the Polaris Isles. She breathed in deeply and allowed Lexa to guide Pol, although the dragon was less than pleased.

Even if Lexa might have scared her half to death and restrained her drowsiness for a few minutes, she felt lightheaded again not long after. Especially now that she had Lexa's comforting smell and added heat encouraging her to close her eyes, if only for a minute. It was always so easy for her to fall asleep in Lexa's arms.

* * *

 

Lexa was brushing Clarke's arm gently to wake her up. The girl had fallen asleep only a few minutes after Lexa had jumped onto Poly's back. Lexa had then quickly arranged the bags to support her back so Clarke could lean on her completely. Although Poly was not pleased with carrying both, Lexa knew the extra weight made little difference. Pol was a large and strong Whiteskul. Originally, these dragons would migrate from the north to the south every year. They were built for long journeys. Aris, on the other hand, was benefitting from the loss. She could see that her dragon was already less fatigued than it was a few hours ago. Nightfuries were not marathon runners, there were sprinters, which is why Lexa would usually beat Clarke in races that required more speed.

"Clarke," She whispered into the blonde hair. She shook her a little harder this time and felt the girl shift. Clarke gasped as she woke up disoriented. "Hey, we're almost home," Lexa whispered in her ear when the girl fully regained consciousness. She squeaked as she stretched and turned her head.

She curled her hand around Lexa's neck and pulled her into a searing kiss. She nibbled on Lexa's lower lip and then hushed the spot with her tongue. Lexa blinked curiously when the blonde leaned out.

"What was that for?" Lexa questioned as the passion still lingered on her lips.

"For not listening to my stubborn ass and letting me sleep in your arms," Clarke explained and kissed her again, though this time with more restraint. Lexa grinned into the kiss and tightened her embrace. "Aren't you exhausted?" Clarke asked her girlfriend. The energy the girl managed to maintain was befuddling.

"Habit, I suppose," Lexa admitted genuinely. It had been years, but she had been trained to sustain endurance. Lexa chastely kissed the back of Clarke's neck and gave her a toothy grin. Clarke shook her head and huffed as she turned her head.

"There it is!" Clarke announced as Arkadia came into view. Clarke felt the brunette relax behind her. The tension in her muscles was dissipating as the space between them and their destination narrowed.

When they landed, Octavia ran over to meet them. "You guys are early?" She commented as both stepped off Pol. "A lot has been happening since you left, it's good that you're-"

"O'." Clarke interrupted with a strain to her voice and kept Octavia from forming that sentence though she leaned out and embraced her friend. "We're really tired." Clarke stated shyly. Octavia glanced at Lexa who indicated that they wanted to go home as well and gave Lexa a curt nod.

"Do you want me to take Pol and Aris?" She asked, but Clarke shook her head and told her they would take them at the castle as they usually did. Octavia helped Kane with training and keeping dragons as a side job. People that could not afford to keep their dragon in their own stables or simply did not have the room would leave them with Kane. In fact, most people did. Clarke had been used to keeping Pol with her, however, as the castle, she grew up in had been large enough to house more than one dragon. She was the Chief's daughter after all.

"Fly to the castle you two," Lexa instructed the dragons and off they were. They smiled at each other as they watched their dragons play with each other in mid-air. Or rather, they would watch Aris hoping to play with Pol and Pol reluctantly tolerating the younger dragon. They waved at Octavia and told her they would catch up with her the next day.

They passed by the market and picked up some onions, pork meat, and ale for a stew they would cook that night. Lexa's heart felt lighter now that a familiar environment that did not dig deep into her subconscious and raise her dreams to reality surrounded her. Something as simple as watching Clarke pick out onions was enough to settle the anxious flutters flowing between her ribs. For the first time in days when she breathed out, she felt like she truly did. A small portion of air no longer remained trapped. There was finally a moment of relief. She watched the late afternoon sun color her lover's hair golden and blanket the market in tenderness. 

"Ready?" She asked after Clarke had paid. The blonde turned around and smiled widely.

"I even got some garlic." Clarke sounded excited which made Lexa chuckle. She wrapped her arm around Clarke's waist and carried the basket with food.

When they reached their small house at the top of the island, which was in the middle ring, Clarke breathed out tiredly, "I'm so happy to be home." She unlocked their door and waved at Yin, their neighbor. "Aren't you tired at all?" Clarke asked with a high-pitched voice. Clarke laughed and elated Lexa.

When Lexa sat down, however, she admitted, "I am actually, really tired." She gave Clarke a half-crooked smile as she rested her head on her palm.

"Well," Clarke approached her and then settled on her lap, which allowed Lexa to breathe in Clarke's subtle scent. "How about," She husked, and it made Lexa grin, "I make dinner, and you rest?" She purred and kissed Lexa's neck. Lexa whimpered contently and wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist so she could pull her close and bask in her presence.

"Sounds acceptable," Lexa, replied as she rested her head in the crook of Clarke's neck. Clarke pecked the top of Lexa's forehead and crawled off. Their hands lingered together as Lexa raised her arm to prolong the contact if only for a moment.

* * *

 

As Clarke was chopping some leek she had picked up as well, someone rapped on the door. Clarke wiped her hands on a kitchen towel and opened the door.

"Mom," She smiled and opened the door wider.

"Do you know what your father went through when he saw those dragons return alone?" Abby's tone sounded scolding. Clarke's voice stuttered into a sigh. Her mother did not waste time.

"Mom, the news travels fast. Besides, I was going to come see you while my stew was simmering," she claimed while gesturing at the food on the counter.

"You should have come straight to us and told us you were back," Abby argued relentlessly.

"I wanted to go home. It would've taken us ages to get back here." Clarke explained, but Abby huffed. "I'm sorry, the dragons were tired, and so was I. I thought this was the best way." She reasoned, and Abby blew air through her nose and cocked her head.

"Alright, alright," She muttered and leaned over Clarke's pot. "Why are you putting in leek? And ale?"

"Mom, I like my cooking and so does Lexa," Clarke argued sounding irritated. "I don't need you to hover over my cooking," Clarke pointed out. This was their usual dynamic whenever Abby entered their home, or rather their kitchen. It had developed into a pet peeve Clarke could go without.

"I'm simply saying, dear, that leek and ale in a stew-"

"Is delicious?" Clarke offered, but her mother scowled and put her hands on her hips. Abby looked down pensively and then gazed across their living area.

"Where _is_ Lexa?" Abby wondered and then added, "I thought something was missing when I came in," she noted.  

"Lexa is sleeping," Clarke stated as she continued chopping the leek. Abby knitted her brows together.

"Why aren't you? Aren't you tired as well? What about the map? Did you find anything?" Abby fired a round of questions.

"I was so tired I fell asleep in her arms on the way back. I am tired and sleeping does sound tempting right now, but I want to make this stew, so when Lexa wakes up she's got something to eat, so we both do." Clarke babbled contently. Abby smiled and felt impressed at the nurturing nature her daughter possessed.

"And the map- well, I-" Clarke looked at her half chopped leeks and grimaced. "Just let me finish this first and then I'll tell you all about it alright? For the time being, how is dad?" Clarke asked. Abby arched her eyebrows and pushed her bottom lip into her upper one.

"He's fine," She smiled, but the smile did not reach her eyes. "He's working on a new pipeline that will allow the whole island to have warm water instantly." She informed her daughter. Clarke widened her eyes.

"Really?" She marveled.

"Something about the pipes being more heat resistant to carrying the warm water further," Abby waved her hand. Clarke giggled.

"Well, it would definitely be welcomed. The water freezes over in the tank during the winter." Clarke noted. Clarke wiped her hands and placed the stew over the fire as she took a small bowl of boiling water off. She poured some of the boiling water into two cups and placed chamomile flowers in the water. She then handed one cup to her mother who greedily accepted it. The nights had become colder once more, and they knew both nights and days would be growing much colder than this.

"You should go see him tomorrow," Abby commented. "He needs to see you," She added, and Clarke nodded.

Clarke sat down on their couch alongside her mother and breathed in the steam. "I need to talk to you about something," Clarke revealed. Her mother's expression grew wary.

"What is it?" She questioned, and Clarke clenched her jaw.

"The rumors about the East are true, I think." Abby's face changed into a terrified scowl. "Before you say anything, we weren't going to go east, mom." Clarke held up her hand as she insisted. "We were going to go southeast, and we did. We met someone who was traveling on the Eastern border, however," She left out the part of who that person was and how permanent their residence is on that island.

"Go on," Abby murmured.

"It's not safe. I saw that mist." Clarke paused and shook her head as she closed her eyes, "I don't think they're just rumors, and I don't think anyone should find out if they are." Clarke warned. Abby puffed and gave her daughter a curt nod. She trusted Clarke, which is why she had even allowed her daughter to take that trip. Clarke had proven herself years ago when a tension at Eagle Bay had escalated.

"Alright, we'll make sure people are informed," Abby stated but was already worrying about the mystery that surrounded the East.

"Mom," Clarke whispered. "There was another thing-" Before Clarke could finish that sentence the door of their bedroom creaked and Lexa stepped out. She was wearing comfortable leggings and a long shirt. She looked drowsy as she dragged her socks over the tiles.

"Lexa," Abby voiced, and the girl froze. She appeared to be waking up and opened her eyes completely. She had obviously come out, possibly to retrieve a glass of water or Clarke.

"Mrs. Gr- Abby," Lexa stammered her drowsiness wearing off completely. She scowled at Clarke, obviously annoyed at her girlfriend for not telling her, her mother was here. Abby stood up and slapped Lexa's shoulder playfully.

"Oh, don't give her that look Lexa." Abby jested and hugged her tightly. Her expression didn't change, in fact, it changed more when Abby couldn't see her face, and she mouthed irritably at Clarke. The minute Abby faced her again. However, her expression was pleasant.

"I just- I would've gotten up," Lexa argued as she sat down on the arm of the couch.

"Well, at least she's calling me Abby now." Abby ignored Lexa's statement and addressed Clarke. Clarke threw her head back and cackled. Lexa groaned playfully and rubbed her eyes. She then realized her hair probably looked disheveled. She patted down her hair, which was useless as her curls were unruly when they were out of their braids.

Clarke offered her a comforting smile as she shook her head, finding her girlfriend's behavior endearing. Meanwhile, Abby had gotten up to check on the stew.

"Mom," Clarke protested. She stood up when the older blonde did not respond. Before she prevented from her mother doing anything to that stew, she grabbed Lexa's hair and pushed it to one side. She kissed her shoulder secretively and whispered, "You look fine,"

"You could've told me she was here," Lexa hissed quietly. Clarke cocked her head sideways, and amusement glimmered in her eyes.

"And wake you up?" Clarke countered and pecked her lips silently. When she opened her eyes, she watched her mother stalk the pot a bit too closely with herbs in her hands, so she snapped, "Mom! It doesn't need bay leaf." She hurried to her kitchen and kept her mother from throwing it in.

"Mother, stop," Clarke giggled as she watched her mother trying to pass by her. Abby managed to add the herb anyways and gave Clarke a smug look. "Great. Thanks."

* * *

 

Clarke didn't mean to whine when she felt Lexa's hand descend from her chest later that night. Even as Lexa's mouth continued to leave what would most likely later transform into a trail of bruises on her neck, she could only focus on the hand that was now slowly dipping over her mound. She whimpered and bit her lip as she tangled her left hand in Lexa's curls. Her hips jerked, which seemed to spurn the hand on to dip lower. Lexa's two fingers spread, however, and evaded the spot Clarke needed so desperately for Lexa to touch.

"Lexa," Clarke moaned, "Don't tease me," She panted and attempted again at connecting her warmth to Lexa's fingers. Other than the curl of Lexa's lips against her neck, there was no indication the girl had heard her or even acknowledged her plea.

"Please," Clarke breathed and dared to dip her own fingers through her folds. A moan erupted from her mouth, but Lexa was having none of that. Consequently, the girl dominantly gripped Clarke's wrist and slammed the hand above Clarke's head while the girl whimpered at the sudden loss. Clarke wanted to growl at her and tell her to take care of it, or she would, but Lexa's prevailing posture created dryness in Clarke's throat that kept her from speaking. Lexa clucked her tongue and lifted her head to look at Clarke and stare her down as if she was daring Clarke to defy her once more. She then slowly circled Clarke's thigh and anchored it around her waist without breaking eye contact, while she hovered above her and teasingly traced the flesh. She leaned down and licked at Clarke's bottom lip still not redirecting her eyes which were pinning Clarke down. Clarke's arousal was dripping down her thigh by down, and as Lexa grazed her body against Clarke's, their mounds glided together seamlessly, and Lexa could not help but voice her own pleasure.

She nipped at Clarke's lip one last time before returning to Clarke's neck as if Clarke had interrupted a feline's nightly meal. She pushed against her once more, and Clarke yelped when her clitoris received some attention, which sparked a rhythm in Lexa's ministrations. Clarke's chest heaved erratically while Lexa's head dipped lower to capture Clarke's collarbone. Finally, Lexa's hand dipped between their bodies. She decided to stop teasing her girlfriend, and instead, press her fingers where Clarke wanted them most, easily gliding up through the slickness to capture her sensitive nub and circling it. Clarke dug her head deeper into her pillow and moaned as the pleasure rippled through her while her hands looked for steadiness behind Lexa's neck. The pleasure pulsated with every brush and glide, and her nipples stood deliciously erect, and so Lexa captured it as well, while Clarke unraveled beneath her. Small moans tore from Clarke's throat as her hips joined the rhythm Lexa had committed to, so much Lexa looked up to look at her girlfriend once more.

"You're so beautiful," Lexa murmured enamored by the sight presented to her. Clarke did not close her eyes, though her instincts were telling her to. Her breaths became sharper and shorter after Lexa had accelerated her pace.

"Fuck," Clarke cursed. A stronger sense of pleasure pulsated from her core when she watched the hunger in Lexa's eyes grow with every sound she would make. Then two fingers dipped lower and shifted inside of her, and that is when Clarke could no longer keep her eyes open. Upon closing them, she cried out loudly while she felt Lexa's fingers pumping greedily inside of her. The brunette curled her fingers and slapped her palm against Clarke's core due to the velocity of her movements.

Lexa was having a hard time breathing while she watched her lover unwinding beneath her. She knew she should attend to the nub between Clarke's legs to push her completely off the edge, but she wanted to watch the desperation write onto Clarke's face as she would thrust into her softness, her warmth and feel Clarke's urgently tightening around her fingers. She wanted to watch her be _so_ close.

"Lex, please," Clarke panted and that was it, that was the moment that could send Lexa off the edge herself. She curled her fingers and heard Clarke mewl with pleasure, then added to said pleasure with her thumb that circled her clit roughly. She pushed her fingers even deeper and felt Clarke's heartbeat right there, rapid and urging.  Clarke's fingers raked the skin on Lexa's shoulders.

"Baby," Clarke breathed. She was so close. Lexa could feel her walls gripping her fingers tightly. "Fuck!" Clarke managed to cry out before her body spasmed around Lexa's fingers as she came, and those fingers continued their ministrations as long as Clarke's body would allow. 

Only when Clarke stilled did Lexa pull her fingers out, but before Clarke could catch her breath, she watched Lexa suck those fingers clean, which yanked a small whimper from Clarke's mouth. Lexa watched her with an amused expression as she slowly removed her fingers from her mouth generating small pop as she finally released her digits.

"You're trying to kill me aren't you?" Clarke questioned. Lexa did not respond, she simply leaned down and kissed the blonde offering her the opportunity to taste herself on her lips.

Lexa leaned back up, and a smile tugged easily at her lips before she spoke, "Only in the best way possible."

"I love you," Clarke shook her head as if she couldn't believe the girl above her was hers. She cupped Lexa's cheek and leaned up to catch her bottom lip. Lexa grinned and rested her forehead against Clarke's.

"And I you," She whispered. Her body collapsed exhausted into the furs and before she thought it, and she had exclaimed, "I could fall asleep right, here right now."

Clarke leaned on her side and opened her arms so the girl could wind into her. Lexa rested her head on Clarke's shoulder, and Clarke curled her elbow around the girls face so she could play with Lexa's hair. She looked at her, taken with her beauty and said, "So sleep my love,"

This had been their third round that night. They had not realized how much they had missed each other until they had both lain down together on their bed and drank in each other's presence but more importantly their surroundings and the opportunity for intimacy, one that had been lacking over the last few weeks.

Clarke reached out and hooked their bodies together, then kissed the top of Lexa's head. "My father wants us to swing by tomorrow." Clarke had murmured before she felt sleep tugging at her eyes as well. Lexa snored lightly against her, and Clarke knew she would have to repeat herself in the morning.

* * *

 

Clarke descended to the dungeons of the castle and called out for her father. "Dad?" She shouted again. She faintly heard his voice but could not make out where it was originating. She grimaced when started feeling annoyed.

At last, she heard a loud clutter of tools falling onto the ground. "Finally," She mumbled as she approached her father.

"Hey dad," Clarke greeted and hugged him tightly.

"Where's my other daughter?" Jake questioned which generated a scowl from Clarke.

"What? I'm not enough?" She asked, but before he could answer, an insisting sound caught Jake would have to attend to, caught their attention. Jake crouched down and rolled under the pipelines he had obviously been working on before Clarke found him.

"Pass me the-" Clarke handed him with an eye roll the exact tool he needed. "You know-" His voice, sounded distracted as he tinkered, "I thought you would like how much I love her now." He pointed out.

"I do." She insisted and heard another clang. "It took you long enough," Clarke commented under her breath, but the pause in Jake's movements told her he had heard her. He rolled back out and seemed to be searching, so Clarke handed him another tool he needed. He nodded gratefully.

"What do you want me to say, honey? She was an _illegal_ dragon racer who I found out you met _at_ a dragon race. Not to mention the way I found out." He defended. Clarke blushed for a second at the sudden memory.

"That's only because _you_ made dragon racing illegal," Clarke argued, and she heard her father laugh at her defiant tone.

"What's your point?" Jake questioned although his tone was far from sober.

"My point is-" What was her point. What was even the point of this whole conversation? "I-" Clarke stuttered and her words transformed into a low growl that only seemed to cheer Jake's laughter on.

"It was all before I knew how much she loves you and how good she is for you," Jake interjected and wobbled his hand so Clarke would give him another tool. Clarke smiled and handed him the right tool as if they had been linked psychologically.

"Yeah, she is," She said more to herself than to her father.

"So then what's the problem with me loving her?" Jake questioned with a bright smile as he came from under the pipes once more.

"Cause you love her more than me." Clarke sassed playfully. She wasn't serious, though once upon a time that had been an issue. She had been injured, and Jake had started sparring with Lexa instead of Clarke. The two quickly bonded and Clarke had gotten jealous.

"This again," Jake played along. She had been seventeen and still in training. Thankfully, Lexa managed to clear it all up.

"Hell, yeah!" Clarke laughed and just at that time, Lexa crawled through the hole in the wall and innocently smiled, as she had no idea what was going on. Again, Jake wobbled his hand so Clarke would hand him one of this tools with no words said between them. Clarke handed him the one he needed and Lexa shook her head.

"How do you two do that?!" She demanded because she still could not figure out how these two worked off each other. She had seen it happening for years. Jake would reach out for something and Clarke would hand him what he needed without as much as a grunt. Or, they would go fishing, and they would both stand up and agree on the place to fish. It was like they were mentally connected and not in the cute father-daughter way, no in the creepy 'I can read your mind' way, and there was no way Lexa wanted to entertain that thought knowing how dirty Clarke's mind was.

"Talent," "Skill," both responded simultaneously and generated an unimpressed sneer.

"Anyways, Jake you asked us to come see you?" It was more of a statement than a question. Jake wiped his hands and nodded. Working on the city's infrastructure was his passion, but his job was commander in chief of their island and their people. He led them both upstairs to the throne room. Although Lexa was more comfortable with Jake than she was with Abby, she still felt ill at ease when Jake would become 'Chief' and his casual nature would dissipate. Her throat bobbed when she watched him lean over what looked like a strategy map, and she had seen enough in her lifetime to recognize one. He looked pensive but also distressed, and Lexa realized this was a moment had called for his formal character as chief, which meant the situation was dire. The lines on his forehead told a story of his apprehension and Lexa could only guess it had something to do with Eagle Bay, it always did. They had never gotten over the Dragonwars that had plagued their lands for centuries. They could not accept that they as humans had as much if not more blame to share between them than the dragons had. The dragons, after all, were not attacking but feeding, albeit on their animals. Even when the dragons were not feeding but simply passing by, prejudice and fear had caused humans to attack automatically and created an antagonistic relationship. When a truce between the dragons and humans had been formed, mostly at Arkadia, other territories had been wary but had ultimately accepted the peaceful bond, all but Eagle Bay.

The disputes, thankfully, were usually minor and did not involve many deaths. In fact, only been two or three cases in the last ten years had occurred where blood had truly been spilled. It was quite the opposite of what Lexa had grown accustomed to in her world. People rarely died in battle here, but the punishments in this world were as cruel as they were in hers. Most people that had died before their time had been sentenced to death for breaking laws. They were most unforgiving, although Jake had been trying to change that, now that they did not have to simply survive anymore. The threats the dragons had been, was no longer present, and the need for survival's cruelty had died with it.

"Eagle Bay has been attacking our neighbors in the 'Shallows' territory for the last two months, and their provisions, as well as their manpower, are running out. The death toll is reaching an all-time high on both sides." Jake revealed regretfully while he rubbed his face. He looked tired and frustrated.

"They aim to extend their territory, and it's no secret they have been making threats towards Arkadia as well." He turned around and faced both girls, "So chief Yanik and I have created an alliance to stop this nonsense once and for all." His tone became angry, "They have been aggravating and attacking their neighbors for generations, whether that is to raid their lands or blatantly disrespect others' customs." Jake explained.

"We will be assisting them with a defense that will probably escalate into an offense depending on the opportunity presented to us. I have been having a dialogue with Jeremiah for years, and I have attempted at staying diplomatic and remaining peaceful, but enough is enough. The shallows are an important trading port for us and an alliance will be good for our future." He concluded. Both girls were nodding.

"So what will happen?" Lexa asked respectfully, and he elaborated.

"We will meet them at Norkeep and set up camp at Clearfall." His formal demeanor faltered, and he sighed, "I wish I had had better news for you, girls. Honestly, we did not even think you would be back in time for this." He tried to smile, but the gravity of the situation was too vast. "Your mother was afraid you wouldn't-" He swallowed. "If I-" He could not finish his sentence and Lexa understood what he meant. Abby had been afraid Clarke would not make it home in time to see him before the battle. Lexa glanced at Clarke. When they got home yesterday afternoon, they had indeed not expected all this. Lexa's mind was tired, but at least this offered a simpler solution, a more practical one to solve the conflict ahead.

"What do you need from us?" Clarke asked immediately sensing her father's tone and distress and hoped to refocus the conversation. Lexa knew she would probably be at the forefront as she was part of Arkadia's guard. She also knew Clarke was a good shot with a bow arrow, a deadly one at that and her father had been grooming her to take over for him someday so that she wouldn't be far away from the frontline either. _'A chief walks amongst their warriors'_ was his personal constitution, and it was one Lexa related to as well as respected.

"I need you to lead a part of the Dragon riders' party. You're one of the fastest dragon riders we have; we're going to need you there." He informed Lexa, and the girl nodded obediently. Then he redirected his eyes to his daughter.

"I want you in the trees with your bow." He commanded, and Clarke gulped. "It's not up for discussion Clarke." He declared bringing his hand in front of him. Clarke lowered her gaze and nodded reluctantly.

"Yes, sir," She answered but was roaring on the inside. She did not want to hide in the tree line. She wanted to be at the forefront where she imagined her father would most likely be.

"When do we leave?" Clarke attempted.

"In two days," He replied, then his formality disappeared, and he was Jake again. He sighed and embraced them both. "Let's get some food before your mother walks in here and demands me to feed her," He joked at an attempt to lighten the heavy emotional mist that surrounded them.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want to aggravate Abby," Lexa agreed, and a small smile tugged at her lips. Clarke furrowed her brows when they mentioned her mother. Why hadn't Abby told her yesterday the tensions were running so high? So high, they were going into battle in a few days.

They said goodbye to Clarke's parents after their lunch and left to start their day. They were not supposed to be back yet, so Clarke would go to the clinic or the school and see if they needed help. Lexa on her side would report to her captain.

"Hey," Lexa caught Clarke's hand as they were walking down the pathway that led to the second ring. "You didn't say a word during lunch." Lexa pointed out. "Are you okay?" She knew she was asking a thoughtless question. She simply wanted Clarke to voice her feelings, as she knew that was how Clarke operated. She needed to voice her emotions to process them. Any time Clarke didn't it did not work out for her.

"I just-" She started. "I'm tired." She admitted. "I wanted more time with you here before going off somewhere. I mean we knew tensions were rising, I just thought we weren't there yet." Clarke explained. Lexa nodded and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. She guided them to an abandoned alley barely wide enough for both of them and rested Clarke against the wall.

"I know me too, but let's move forward with our days and enjoy it before we have to go into this," Lexa suggested, and a small crooked smile appeared on Clarke's lips. Clarke nodded pensively. "And as far as being in the tree line-" Lexa started but became amused when she noticed Clarke rolling her eyes. "Don't roll those eyes unless _I'm_ between your legs," Lexa ordered, and she felt Clarke shudder as the girl played with the baby hairs on her neck. It was subtle, but it was there, and it made Lexa grin with mischief.

"I'm not bothered by _that_." Clarke lied and so Lexa stared her down with one raised eyebrow until Clarke admitted what was truly on her mind. "Alright, so maybe yeah-" Clarke widened her eyes to portray her annoyance. "I would've like being on the ground with the others or with you." She muttered.

"You're a Bowman. You're better in the trees, and you know it."

"I can handle a bow on the ground," Clarke argued, but Lexa cocked her head sideways. "I could," Clarke whined, and Lexa conceded.

"I know, but this is what your father has decided-" This time Clarke painfully rolled her eyes and groaned.

"You and your principles," Clarke growled, but deep down she liked how Lexa had her own personal code. It did not consist of much, but respecting authority was one thing she insisted on.  

"Well, that-" Lexa's outline softened, "And the tree line will keep you safe." She admitted her relief. Clarke huffed and wished she could say the same. At least one of them would not be distracted during battle, not that Lexa ever was.

"That makes one of us," Clarke grunted, and Lexa captured her lips.

"With Aris by my side, I'll remain safe," Lexa assured her, but she could see she was not doing a good job. "Clarke-"

"I don't want to think about it now." Clarke shut her eyes and erased the image from her mind. "I'm going to the clinic, and you should go see Ibbott." Clarke pointed and kissed Lexa passionately but quickly, before she sped off.  

Lexa scratched the back of her neck as she watched her girlfriend walk down the path. Her kiss lingered and left flutters in Lexa's stomach, as she did every day. The road split into two paths a bit further up, and Lexa took the opposite road to report at the training grounds in the lower ring.

She arrived at the sparring pit a half an hour later. Octavia noticed her and nodded at Arlie Ibbott, their commanding officer to indicate her arrival. Ibbott looked over her shoulder and waved at Lexa to join them. She nodded respectfully when Lexa appeared before her.

"I'm happy to have you here in time Lexa," She stated. "We're training to manage bows and spears in the air," Ibbott explained. Lexa made a mental note not to tell Clarke. She did not want the blonde to go convince her father to let her fight on the air forces as well now that they were using bows. Eagle Bay would use catapults to bring down dragons, and they had succeeded with that tactic in the past if they used enough ammo. Although Lexa knew better than to keep anything from her girlfriend she would also do anything to keep her from harm's way.

Lexa nodded and went to stand next to Octavia. She glanced at her and smiled. When Ibbot went to address a different section of their air party, Octavia spoke, "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too," Lexa replied and bumped her fist with Octavia's. It was something Octavia had taught her when she first started with the guard. It was puzzling at first, but after a few years, it had become instinctive, with Octavia that was. She indulged the gesture because Octavia was her friend.

* * *

 

Lexa came home that night, completely exhausted from training and strategizing. They had received the day off the day after to recuperate and maintain their energy for when it mattered. When Lexa entered the door, a sweet smell of baked pastry greeted her. Clarke looked up briefly and smiled.

"That smells amazing," Lexa said as she wrapped her arms around Clarke from behind. She placed a sweet kiss on her girlfriend's shoulder and further leaned her head on it.

"I made pastries with the leftover meat stew," Clarke explained, and Lexa simply hummed. "How was training?" She asked after Lexa had untangled herself and shrugged off her coat.

"Taxing," She replied but asked, "Do you need any help?" Clarke smiled and shook her head. Even with harsh training behind her, Lexa would ask if she would need assistance. It was clear that Clarke had been home for a while and had not such a draining day as Lexa had had.

"No, it's alright. You relax." Clarke ordered but still Lexa approached her, took the oranges on the counter, and helped Clarke squeeze them into juice.

"How was the clinic?" Lexa asked, but Clarke simply grunted, indicating they probably had not needed her assistance today. "And the school?" Lexa questioned.

"No, they're closing soon anyways. So I'm a bit out of work though I'll stop by the pottery shop tomorrow." Clarke babbled. Clarke was the kind of person that did all kind of stuff for money. She made and sold pottery, helped her mother at the clinic, taught at the school and even raced still from time to time.

"Well, I'm free all day tomorrow. So how about I spend it with you, and we can prepare together?" Lexa suggested, and Clarke looked up with a hopeful smile. She nodded and reached out to kiss her girlfriend's cheek. If she thought past tomorrow, she knew her stomach would churn into apprehensive knots. Therefore, she kept it light; she kept her mind from wandering too far into the future, even if that meant a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm back with this story. I was kind of working through a writer's block with always one foot... and I wanted to write on that one more before I got back to this one, but retrospectively that was a dumb idea. I'm excited for this. I've got this part of the series down in outline so yay! (Oh yeah this will be a two part series). 
> 
> Thanks for all the support with this story. Any questions just leave a comment :) 
> 
> See you next time folks!
> 
> ps: does anyone else hear dragrace instead of dragon race?


	7. Norkeep

_"Costia, wait!" She giggled as she ran after her friend. The wooden deck, slick and slimy, threatened to escape her feet and cause her to fall. She slipped on her heel but managed to recover. "Agh," She squealed as she continued her pursuit. The brunette was running ahead, a bucket filled with the fish they had caught, in hand, and was about to throw them back into the sea as she could not bear the thought of eating these animals._

_"Costia, Lexa! Stop disrupting-" Indra scolded, but both girls ignored the woman. Both girls just ran past her, leaving a scent of fish and swift wind around her. Indra squinted her eyes an annoyed manner._

_Lexa followed Costia all the way, to where the boats no longer wobbled in the water._

_"Costia, at least keep one!" Lexa begged with her hands raised above her, and exalting her wish for compromise. They had argued about whether to keep the fish or not and Costia's sensitive nature had won out when she stole the bucket from Lexa's grasp and started running towards the oceanfront with the intention to free them. At first, Lexa had pursued her with the purpose to apprehend the bucket, and to tell Costia to stop being emotional and to grow up. Then, when she saw the tenacity, with which Costia ran and the expression of fear written on her face, Lexa let it go as she realized it was not worth upsetting her friend over. She continued the pursuit because it had become a game for her, one she hadn't played without gravity in a long time. The only time she pursued people was to fight them. This gave her a sense of nostalgia and joy she hadn't experienced in years, not since she had started her training as a nightblood._

_She finally caught up with her and the girl started screaming, "No! You can't."_

_"I won't," Lexa cooed as she raised her hands in defense. "I promise," Lexa softened her eyes enough to convey her genuineness to Costia. Costia looked so sad._

_"You shouldn't use your soft side to manipulate me,"_

Lexa woke up with a slight gasp, her head lifting from where it was laying on Clarke's breast and leaving a slight slit between both bodies. She breathed out and with it molded her body back into Clarke's, and that is what revealed a pool of moisture on Clarke's nightshirt, created by the sweat coating her skin. The scratch in her throat indicated her dehydration as well. She blinked twice trying to shake the feeling the dream had created. It was not a bad feeling, it hadn't been a bad dream after all, but the bittersweet taste in the back of her mouth was enough to create a painful bubble in her throat.

She was still breathing erratically, and she was surprised she hadn't woken her girlfriend with all the physiological stuff she was literally exalting. She huffed silently and closed her eyes, but opened them back without missing a beat. Closing her eyes was not a good idea as Indra's and Costia's face appeared.

She felt a hand brush over her hair, which indicated that Clarke had been awake. She knew it had been too strange for Clarke to sleep through all that, considering how much of a light sleeper she was.

Lexa lifted her head to meet Clarke's gaze. She puffed when she watched Clarke looking down at her and brushing the hair out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Lexa whispered, but Clarke knitted her brows together and shook her head. What the hell was Lexa sorry for? Nothing Clarke could think of could justify Lexa's apology.

"What for?" Clarke questioned seriously not understand why her girlfriend, who had obviously had an upsetting dream, was apologizing. Lexa looked down and pinched Clarke's wet shirt.

"I keep waking you up because of this shit." Lexa deplored. Clarke cocked her head sideways, and her hand massaged Lexa's scalp. Clarke's shaking head was barely noticeable, but it was visible enough for Lexa to understand the girl did not agree with her if anything Clarke felt guilty for triggering these dreams with their trip. Clarke leaned in and kissed her.

"Don't be silly," She pressed her forehead against Lexa's. A long silence seeped in, slithering between them, almost long enough for both of them to fall asleep once again.

"You want to talk about it?" Clarke asked her and regained Lexa's attention after having broken the silence. Lexa sighed as she settled closer into Clarke's neck. Her grip tightened, and she placed a chaste kiss on Clarke's skin.

"It was a memory," Lexa admitted her voice wavering above a whisper. Her throat bobbed as she added, "A good one." Lexa still did not understand why that memory had infiltrated her dream. Clarke slender fingers were finding a way through Lexa's vast hair, even vaster now with the sweat coating the locks.

"It was about-" Lexa paused and drew her brows together because she was trying to put the images in order, "I was maybe twelve?" Lexa wasn't sure. She had never told Clarke much about her past. She had told her about the night of the wreckage and a few generic childhood memories like her mother's name or what she would be punished for, but nothing more. It was hard to tell her things without telling her about the nightblida's, the conclave and her commandership.

"We had caught fish and Costia wanted to return them to the ocean," Lexa told her, as the dream was clear now. Clarke's hand never faltered, it remained calm and comforting. Clarke's lips joined the ease she created as their flesh brushed over Lexa's forehead.

"Indra was scolding us," Lexa smiled more to herself than to Clarke. It was rare that she allowed herself truly to indulge in the nostalgia from her previous life.

She didn't she had been quiet for a while until she heard Clarke break the silence with her question. "Why was she scolding you?"

"Because it was improper for me to do so," Lexa explained as a small shrug animated her shoulders.

"Why?" Clarke asked again, and it created a small tickle at the bottom of her stomach. Lexa cleared her voice and leaned on her elbow. She opened her mouth, and a slight friction of her vocal chords came out but nothing else. Lexa's heart was beating nervously against her chest. Perhaps this was the moment she could tell Clarke everything.

Clarke perceived Lexa's distress and caressed her side comfortably, "Hey, hey," She curled her hand in Lexa's locks after it had moved from her side to Lexa's neck, "It's okay," She eased, but Lexa was still experiencing an inner turmoil. "You don't have to tell me,"

"I do," Lexa interjected. "I want to," She whispered but looked down because she couldn't face Clarke and risk losing her nerve. She buried her head in the crook of Clarke's neck, searching for the shelter there. Clarke wrapped her arms tightly around her.

"I was a _nightblida_. It was unacceptable for me to be that way. I needed to set an example for good behavior, not the opposite." Lexa revealed.

"Nightbl- what?"

"It's-" She sighed and tightened her grip on Clarke's shirt. "My black blood isn't common, not in my world either." She stated and felt Clarke's hand, which was trailing her arm, pause. Clarke's eyes fluttered as she was processing what Lexa was saying all while Lexa was wondering whether this was the right time to tell Clarke anything at all. They were supposed to go into battle soon, and she couldn't afford for Clarke to be distracted.

"Why _is_ your blood black?" Clarke asked, and Lexa gulped.

"It's-" Lexa groaned and closed her eyes while scraping the amount of courage she had together. "It indicates a soul that is good enough to lead," It wasn't a lie. It was a soul that would be strong and pure enough to be a good commander. It would be a good vessel for the strength and wisdom of all commanders to settle in.

"That's it?" Clarke questioned, thinking the answer was too easy. Lexa sighed and looked up at her girlfriend. The blue seemed so welcoming. Lexa hadn't lied, she had only simplified the truth, but looking into that blue abyss she felt like a fraud.

"No-" Lexa bit her lip and sighed, "Clarke-" Lexa voiced, but Clarke hushed her. Surprisingly Clarke didn't ask anything as Lexa had expected her to, and as a result, she didn't tell Clarke much else. She had lost her bravado and told herself she could tell Clarke different parts of her past at different times, and it did not have to be everything at once.

* * *

 

They spent the whole day together, indulging in rare fruits they found at the market, like mango's, or telling tales of Gods and humans, well Lexa told them, and Clarke listened. They spent the afternoon and night in bed, drinking each other's presence before they had to wake again, and this time, face a less joyful day.

Lexa kissed Clarke's head after she had finished braiding the blonde's hair that next morning. The patterns the Arkadians wore in their braids were very intricate on a daily basis, and tighter- to show said patterns and to keep it contained. Trikru did not have to fight in the sky, and Lexa smiled to herself. The tight hairdo allowed them to ride their dragons without their hair getting in the way. Trikru also did not value beauty over other things as the Arkadians did. Ironically, though, the patterns, intricate as they were, had no specific meaning here in contrast to the Trikru's or any other kru's braids. If a braid had a certain shape, pattern, and place on the head, it told a specific story, which is why patterns were special for important people or occasions only.

Lexa liked that the Arkadians found beauty in the ordinary, though she missed the stories of her home. Arkadians valued spiritualism less here, and sometimes she felt truly alone and misunderstood in her faith of the Spirits and that of the one great Life Spirit, the one that connected her to the commander's spirit and created a human vessel as a bridge between the spirits and the humans. She accepted the burden, but also the honor, of being half spirit amongst humans.

Clarke turned around and looked at her girlfriend curiously, "Hey, did you hear me?" Clarke murmured, still sitting between Lexa's legs, and brushed her hand over Lexa's knee. Lexa as if to snap awake, entwined their fingers and smiled.

"Sorry, my thoughts distracted me for a moment. What did you say?" She asked, and Clarke cocked her head. The blonde had no idea which thoughts dominated Lexa's mind, and after last night's revelation, she felt that perhaps she _could_ ask, but they had to be at the docks in a half an hour.

"I said that the blacksmith developed new arrows," Clarke repeated, and Lexa simply hummed. Clarke bit the inside of her cheek but broke the silence. "Worrying thoughts?" She asked anyways, hoping that was the right thing to do. Lexa shook her head, beaming lightly.

"No, I was just thinking how different Arkadian braids are to-" She swallowed her words because she the word almost seemed foreign to her now. "-Trikru braids," She said feeling lighter once the words materialized. It felt relieving to tell her bits and pieces after all these years. It didn't hurt as much as she thought it would. She felt closer to Clarke somehow if that was even possible.

"Trikru," Clarke tried out the name and wrapped her tongue around the vowels. Lexa nodded shyly and leaned down to capture her lips.

"Trikru," She echoed. A sharp knock cut their moment short as Octavia waited behind their front door to walk them to the docks. Lexa simpered and whispered, "That'll be O'." Clarke nodded and got up. She traced Lexa's braids, which mimicked hers, but tighter, and looked back into Lexa's eyes.

It wasn't a long walk to the docks, and it was, however, silent. The three women walked down the path to the northern port, which was less than fifteen minutes away from Clarke and Lexa's house. Clarke's bow, which hung around her, wobbled a little when Clarke walked, so she kept adjusting it.

By the time they reached the port, Octavia gave the two a moment before they all had to leave, each on separate boats. Lexa was in charge of the crossbows and makeshift bombs that the dragons would carry later on during battle, and her captain had placed with four other guards on a supplies ship while Aris, alongside other dragons, would fly over later. What would take the boats, especially filled with people and supplies almost a day's travel, would only take a few hours for a dragon.

Clarke gripped the bow tightly, so tightly, the leather of her fingerless gloves burned the crevices of her fingers.

"Be safe," She whispered and pressed a chaste kiss to Lexa's lips. Lexa nodded and echoed Clarke's words.

"I'll find you at the camp alright?" Lexa stated and squeezed the hand, which curled around the bow encouragingly before she turned on her heels and headed for her ship.

* * *

 

Clarke sat in the bird's nest for most of the trip with her long elvish like blue hood tucked over her head. She watched the other ships sail in front of them, the first containing her father, most likely running his closest generals through their strategy again. She didn't know about the strategy her father employed, she only knew her job and what she was supposed to do. She was a soldier. That alone had been a struggle to attain because her father had refused to put her into battle considering she was the heir and well- barely sixteen at the time. Clarke's stubbornness, however, won out and he eventually conceded. He decided to allow her to be an apprentice, even though her mother protested. He didn't want her to have special treatment, though, so she would have to climb the ranks if that was what she wanted. She climbed fast enough to the First Archery division because she had been trained in the bow since she was a little girl. She fought the external battles not the internal, like Lexa.

Someone whistled at her from below, and she looked down to see Bellamy waving at her. She acknowledged him and prepared to climb down, but the bow shook his head and instead met her at the top of the nest. Clarke rolled her eyes because there was clearly not enough room for two up there. Bellamy stayed on the rope ladder to address her.

"Hey," He murmured. "You've been up here the whole day. You even skipped lunch." He pointed out, but Clarke shrugged.

"Your point?"

"My point is that you need fuel if you want to keep going." He argued which sparked some irritation in Clarke but only because she knew he was right. She huffed and gave him a curt nod.

"I'll come down for some food eventually," Clarke muttered and turned her eyes back to the horizon. She could hear Bellamy mutter something incomprehensible before he climbed back down. She wasn't hungry, although she knew he was right, she needed to eat. She imagined there would be some honey cakes too, and she figured those would be less hard to stomach. She smiled to herself thinking Lexa would probably be eating more than one honey cake on her boat, as they were the girl's favorite.

By the time she reached the decision to grab some food, the sun had dipped lower, closer to the ocean's line and she anticipated they would be arriving by nightfall. She tiptoed into the kitchen and spotted a plate of honey cakes as well as a cold pork meat and bread. She filled a plate to the brink only realizing now how hungry she was.  Just as she wanted to dig in, they sounded the arrival, and she was forced to put down the plate and put the food away. She huffed disappointingly. Clarke looked outside and was able to see tall cliffs looming on the horizon, even though dusk was upon them.

Thick mist surrounded Norkeep's port and left short shrills across Clarke's spine. There were already a dozen of ships parked at the dock and Clarke watched different divisions gather. The dragons would be arriving in the next- Clarke wasn't able to finish that thought as she felt a tight gush of wind beat against her back. She looked up and watched their faithful companions prepare their landing just as they were docking.

Before Aris found Lexa, who was loading one of the catapults in a cart, she found Clarke and nuzzled the girl. She growled playfully when Clarke tried to push her away subtly so her captain would not scold her.  

"Griffin," Toma Easton, her captain, barked and Clarke winced at the tone. She really did not feel like having whichever sanction was appropriate for a warrior that was not standing in line when called. She pushed Aris' snout more forcefully this time and turned around while she gripped her bow tightly and stiffened her posture.

"Yes, captain," She responded. Easton did not have to say more, a simple nod of his head was enough to tell Clarke that it was a warning. She scrambled further to the other Firsts while she waved Aris off as she widened her eyes and huffed a little. Ignorantly she had not seen her girlfriend's amused expression as she had witnessed the encounter. Lexa whistled at the dragon and raised an eyebrow questioningly but also shook her head modestly.

They continued further and met Yanik, Chief of the Shallows' representative who would lead them further to Clearfalls, a village near the infamous Keadon Falls. A tickle of curiosity emerged within Clarke. Even though, for generations long now, The Keadon Falls was a forbidden territory that a small family guarded, due to its infamous character, Clarke still wished she could see it. It was an impossible aspiration because it was infamous for a reason, and much like the vast mist surrounding the Eastern border, the Keadon Falls had a death record that surpassed any other territory because people kept trying to cross it.

"Griffin, I need you and Blake to check the arrows and assemble the quivers." Captain Easton told them shortly after they had arrived at camp. In the distance, one could still hear the faint sound of a hammer slamming, most possibly setting up more tents.

Clarke looked at Bellamy and nodded to acknowledge him, and then they both entered a larger tent with a section of the weaponry. Of course, this was not all of it, and their army was far too big for only this tent to hold all the weapons, and not to speak of the weapons some warriors kept with them.

She huffed and rubbed her forehead, already thinking of dinner and possibly seeing her girlfriend before they would head for Clearfalls in the morning. She was tired, her whole body ached from their long journey, and focusing on sorting out the quivers was the last thing on her mind.

"I told you to eat on the ship," Bellamy muttered as he sorted the quiver with fire arrows. Clarke rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine," She bit lying. "I'm just tired." She said looking up at the boy.

"And anxious," He added which only aggravated Clarke more though she knew her friend was right. She hadn't known Bellamy well for a long time. It was only when he joined the Archery a few months ago that she truly had gotten to know him and even befriended him.

"And anxious," She echoed his words. "And hungry," She muttered inaudibly. Clarke hadn't known many battles, but the ones she had, had shown her that on the eve of a battle she could not take her mind off of it. She remembered her first time.

_"You'll dig trenches if you keep pacing like that," She heard Lexa say. When she looked at where she presumed the most aggravating girl she knew would be standing, she found her leaning her weight against the thick pole inside her tent._

_"What's one more safety precaution?" She countered playfully though it did little for her nerves. Lexa's presence didn't help either, and the girl tended to have an effect on her heart._

_"At least you haven't lost your sense of humor," Lexa pointed out and closed in on Clarke. After their little bathroom encounter, Clarke had no idea how to act around the brunette. They hadn't exactly talked about it, and Clarke was afraid Lexa didn't have the same kind of feelings as Clarke had. Clarke had found out only earlier that day that Lexa's day job involved training as a guard and warrior. When she had confronted Lexa about how contradictory her actions were, being as she was involved in illegal dragon racing, the girl had responded with "The irony hasn't escaped me, and I could say the same thing to you."_

_Clarke huffed and heard Lexa's footsteps as the brunette enclosed on her. "There most likely won't be a battle," She pointed out._

"Clarke, that's enough," Bellamy ordered, and Clarke blinked looking at the arrow in her hands, which she had sharpened a little too ambitiously.  

"Sorry," She mumbled and placed the arrow in its quiver. The following hour, she sharpened arrows that needed sharpening and placed a few wrong fitted arrows in their according quiver. Eventually, her stomach rumbled more painfully, and she mentally growled when she remembered Bellamy's words and smug tone. Thankfully, however, she was on her last quiver, and like clockwork, she saw a flash of brown curls she knew did not belong to any other than Lexa.

"Do you need my help for that last quiver, or-?" That was Clarke's implying she would leave, and most likely not help Bellamy, but it was the polite thing to offer. Bellamy shrugged and waved her off.

She approached Lexa and immediately spotted two girls, one of them being Deborah Mason, a former conquest of Lexa's, crowding around Lexa and shamelessly flirting with her. Clarke chuckled and shook her head to herself. Lexa, in her own right, had created a reputation during these last six years. Word of her skills both in the sparring pit as out- with several partners, sometimes at the same time- had occupied the mouths of the Arkadians for years, albeit it tempering after she had gotten with Clarke. Clarke felt pride bubble in her chest the closer she got because of _that_ girl, the girl who left a trail of broken hearts and admiration behind her, loved _her_. Rumors of Lexa's conquests had reached her ears long before she had properly met Lexa and at the time Clarke didn't think she stood a chance with her, so she instead, she aggravated the girl during dragon races and eventually caught Lexa's attention. On top of everything else, Lexa was a great warrior, which is why she had become a first lieutenant at twenty.

The girls giggling at first, leered uncomfortably when they spotted Clarke approaching them with Lexa's back turned to her. Clarke sighed mentally when she spotted Deborah glaring particularly disdainfully at her. Lexa knitted her brows together at the sudden change of atmosphere and was about to ask whether they were all right when she felt a pair of fingers trail her hand almost unnoticeably. She looked up and suddenly the existence of the two other girls disappeared.

"Clarke," She breathed happily and grasped Clarke's hand eagerly.

"Clarke," Deborah commented. Deborah examined her from top to bottom with condescending eyes, and as a result, Lexa arched her eyebrows awkwardly.

"Deb." Clarke echoed and smiled tightly.

The girls politely continued their conversation but eventually retreated inelegantly as they waved at Lexa and told her they would see her later. Clarke rolled her eyes as she watched them walk away.  

"What?" Lexa questioned.

"I can't leave you alone for a day without having girls like Deborah Mason flocking around you-" Clarke huffed humorously and raised her hands, but Lexa interjected by wrapping her arms around Clarke's waist.

"Don't tell me that the unwaveringly Clarke Griffin is jealous after all these years." Lexa teased Clarke which, made girl groan and roll her eyes.

"Please," Clarke scoffed, "Of Deborah Mason?" She asked but the tone in her voice revealed her initial irritation, and it made Lexa chuckle more and peck Clarke's disapproving looking lips. Deborah had been one of many casual bed partners Lexa had kept before falling in love with Clarke. "I mean- what is there to be jealous of? The girl is a bust in bed." Clarke commented, and Lexa arched her eyebrows at the seemingly new information.

"Really?" She feigned curiosity. "I didn't realize you and Deb had gone there." Lexa teased.

"I don't need to. You stopped sleeping with her. That tells me enough." Clarke argued, and Lexa snorted loudly.

"Right," she voiced, "Cause falling in love with you was-" She questioned casually.

"A side note," Clarke shrugged but soon enough could not keep her face straight. She started chuckling and leaned into Lexa's warmth. They were lucky this was not a crowded place or they would not have been able to be this affectionate. "I love you," She murmured and felt Lexa kiss her temple.

"Love you too," Lexa whispered. She looked around and asked, "Have you eaten yet?" Clarke shook her head. Her stomach had in fact been grumbling since before she had sorted the arrows. They detangled when they approached a more crowded place among the meat station.

* * *

 

The next morning, right before they would head to Clearfalls and prepare for battle, Clarke snuck into the Air division's tent. Octavia did not bat an eye when she watched Clarke stalk her friend, then brush her hand over Lexa's arm with the utmost care. Lexa quickly turned around and bobbed her throat. For a moment, it seemed like both did not know what to say to one another. Without wasting another second, Clarke surged forward and attached her lips to Lexa's passionately. Some warriors around them were doing the same thing with their significant other, who had also snuck in, or turned their backs to give their friends some privacy.

"Come back to me," Clarke ordered as she pressed her forehead against Lexa's, and in return Lexa didn't answer her, she simply replied with another fervent kiss.

" _Stay_ in the tree line," Lexa whispered, knowing Clarke's temper and impulsive nature. Before anything else could be said, Lexa's captain interrupted them.

"Griffin, I don't think you belong with me," She stated then looked at Monty, "That goes for you too Green."

"Yes ma'am," Clarke replied and gave Lexa one last fleeting look. She scurried off to her own division and apprehension bubbled in her chest.

"Right, we made it a point to keep the existence of well- us, the air division, under wraps. The dragons flew to Clearfalls last night, while the night sky covered them. We will be mounting them when we arrive. Woods will be leading the front division while Marion will be leading the back." She informed. Both gave their leader a curt nod, and each gathered their warriors. "Dismissed,"

Lexa was grateful for Octavia's company. Most of the air division had been dragon racers at one point or another in their lives. It was a tactic and a riding style she needed to strike fast and with a minimal amount of casualties.

"I'm glad you're here," She commented and bumped her fist against Octavia's.

"I got your back," Octavia told her.

* * *

I imagine Clarke like this. It's a quick sketch. Imagine Vikings meet the 100 :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know I'm updating this before the other one but I'm just more excited and at the end of the day I do this for my pleasure first and right now I'm just not feeling aofotg. I hope you guys are liking it. 
> 
> As you can tell I've made it a series bc I know there will be a time jump at one point. This story is a two-part and has a happy ending, but there will be some angst, especially in the second part :) but we're not there yet, not for a long time. (not aofotf type of angst)
> 
> See you next time folks!


	8. The battle of Clearfalls

Clarke breathed out heavily while she climbed higher into the hills. Her cloak crackled when it caught twigs belonging to the vast bush occupying the surface. The moss beneath her feet threatened her balance, as it was still moist from the rain that had fallen that night before.

They were taking a different route to reach their destination as the villagers had warned them about Keadon Falls. They would be foolish not to heed their caution; therefore, they traveled across the muddy hills, right below the higher tree line. Each step sunk into the slug a bit further and pushed them all to lean forward.

Clarke attempted at keeping her breath under control. Her father had sent out scouts a few hours earlier, and when they came back with their information, he went to meet Jeremiah to persuade him to surrender one last time. She knew he had failed to do so when she saw her father return with a somber expression.

The cold was biting her flesh where her cloak failed to cover it. She gripped her bow tighter, finding comfort it and listened to the steady pace of footsteps. She looked at her captain when they finally reached the top of the hill and understood she was skimming the surface, coated with droplets of dew.

It was almost a standoff they way it looked now. There she saw the foot soldiers flanked by the cavalry. The airforce was to remain hidden and only to mobilize to encircle the army, same as her job: protect and guide the enemy as her father had instructed them.

Her breath was visible as the cold had caught up with them and materialized. She readied her bow, already aiming at the sides and seeing if she had a good opening and enough mobility. Clarke squinted her eyes, and her instincts told her something felt off. They were expecting Jeremiah's army to come from the north because that was the only path fit for traveling with a large army. Her nails dug in the crevice of her fist when she realized she heard nothing around her, not even birds. She glanced at Bellamy who looked just as wary as she did. So she was not alone in feeling off. She furrowed her brows.

That is when a single ball of fire erupted from the mist, aimed at them, and landed full speed into the formation of the foot warriors. Only the ball came from the West. Clarke gasped and heard her captain cry several commands in the blur of it all. Then several balls sped towards them, each leaving a trace of red, and exploded onto the formation, charring the soldiers to the ground.

The enemy had managed to climb the steep rocks and surprised them from two sides. She aimed at the left side and waited for her captain's go. Once the captain gave the fire shot, several arrows were shot into the air and soon pierced through the warriors on the left, which pushed many warriors- with fear in their hearts- to break formation and travel towards the center. Clarke had no time to process the lives she was taking as more men and women appeared. The warriors, one by one, fractured the green and overpowered their foot warriors, so much, Arkadia's cavalry was called into battle early. She kept firing her arrows as much as she could to redraw the plan her father had thought out and hoped they would be able to intimidate them into submission.

Meanwhile, Lexa was pacing and ready to leave. She could hear the cries reflecting from the cloudy skies. She hated this part of being in the airforce. They were the army's joker and would not be put into the game too soon. Easton told them to get on. The adrenaline surging through her veins muted the sounds around her, and she could only hear her own breathing and that of Aris. When she had eyes on the battlefield she quickly realized it had not gone as Jake had hoped, but they were still at an advantage, especially now that the air force was put into action.

A swift wave of shrieks startled Clarke. She looked around and finally saw several dragons gliding on the wind with the warriors on top painting a path with grease for the fire to catch. They were not supposed to kill, only trap the army and force them into submission.

"Griffin!" She heard a cry, and she was snapped back into action.

Again, several balls of fire were flung into the sky, this time, aimed at the dragons. Clarke winced when one was targeted by two and eventually was not able to evade the attack. Clarke did not know whom the dragon belonged to, and from afar, she could only recognize those she knew well, which were Lexa and Octavia. The dragon hissed and fired back, scorching the catapult and turning it useless, but not without it plummeting to the ground with an injured tail. Clarke closed her eyes when she heard what she assumed were a sheer amount of enemy warriors attacking the injured animal and attempting at killing both it and its rider. Thankfully, other riders came to their rescue but not before the dragon rider was killed in the process. The retaliated fire, burning hot and long, intimidated some enemy warriors into a retreat, which opened an opportunity to proceed with their strategy. Clarke fired more arrows and watched the formation travel, as she wanted it to.

Again, the enemy exceeded their expectations, and they sent out more cavalry to flank the sides. Jeremiah had played them well. By now, their army was in serious danger, especially as the riders carried long bows. Several of their foot warriors had fallen, and they would be overwhelmed. The arrows the archery was firing off, was only barely keeping them from piercing their formation. The air force had managed to destroy several catapults, guide the enemy's foot warriors how they wanted them. It wasn't enough, though, and there were just too many warriors. The riders swallowed the Arkadians alongside Shallowians whole and caked the dew red with blood.

Lexa looked at her captain and saw her signal an offensive strategy, which meant opening fire to kill, not to isolate. Lexa swallowed deeply and instructed Aris to fire at the cavalry first. There was no other way. The concoction she had dropped earlier to enclose the army, which now stuck to the ground like black tar, would serve as her ally. The horses neighed when Aris fired, and the ground caught fire. The fire spread quickly and ate the enemy as if they were an afternoon snack. Lexa looked down at her hands while she heard muffled screams, and then clear pitched screams the more the flames blackened their flesh. She heard several dragons' fire, and she screwed her eyes closed.

Clarke gasped and leaned her back against a tree with astonishment when she saw glazing red heat purging the surface. She hung her bow loosely in her hand, even though her captain shouted at her to continue fighting. It was the bloodiest battle she had ever been in. It was a reluctant step to make, but looking at how the battle was turning out, it was an inevitable one, if they wanted to win this battle and establish some form of ceasefire. She did not know how that would be possible after this, however. There would be a lot of resentment coming from Eagle Bay, who already considered them monsters for harboring dragons. It was unavoidable that they would not consider this peace as it would be on their terms if they won this battle. What were they supposed to do? Just let Eagle Bay raid their neighboring territories? No, this had to stop, even if that meant killing so many to save more.

The dragons had only targeted the cavalry, which allowed them to have the upper hand once more. Finally, they were able to encircle their enemy. The air force continued with their original plan and drew half a circle of fire around the warriors, trapping them. Soon enough the warriors put down their weapons because they feared for their lives. They had just watched most of their strongest warriors fall to the dragon's flames.

After most of their warriors had been imprisoned, Jeremiah walked across the field reeking of death at that point and surrendered. He hunched his back, but his eyes were full of fury. Jake and Yanik offered Jeremiah a possibility of peace if he vowed to sign and respect a treaty they would draw.

There was not really a choice for the leader of Eagle Bay. It was that or death and imprisonment. The challenging task would be to convince some of his warriors to submit. Defeat was a hard pill to swallow even more for a warrior bred with the Eagle Bay's pride.

Later that night, Clarke found Lexa hunched in front of a campfire, seemingly entranced by flame's movements. She placed a gentle hand on Lexa's shoulder to make her presence known and to convey some kind of comfort. The brunette looked up at her with tears brimming her eyes, and Clarke's hand tightened until her knees hit the ground and she wrapped her arms around her. A small smile tucked at Lexa's lips. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out because there were no words that she wished to speak. She looked down and shook her head, and Clarke understood that that was Lexa's way of saying her actions on the battlefield had not left her heart.

Clarke's eyebrows grew tight as she bent her neck, feeling for her girlfriend. She lifted Lexa's chin and looked her deep in the eyes while shaking her head gently. "We had no choice." Clarke murmured when she pressed their foreheads together. Lexa sighed and wrapped her arms around Clarke to sink into Clarke's shoulder. She nuzzled the fabric there avidly as if to hide herself beneath Clarke's clothes. Clarke took a deep breath when she felt Lexa's sturdy heartbeat that reminded her how lucky they both were to be alive and together. Clarke curled her hand in the girl's hair as she held her close.

* * *

 

They returned to the battlefield of Clearfalls three months later, to commemorate the dead on both sides and celebrate their newfound peace. The treaty had been signed and eventually, albeit reluctantly, the conditions were respected. It seemed that the citizens of Eagle Bay had had enough as well. Even if they had suffered a defeat, the prospect of peace, although atypical, was tempting and something everyone wished to try. The treaty was fair and considered all parties equally. The citizens Eagle Bay had appointed a new leader and the territory was striving for the first time in decades.

Clarke accompanied her father to the celebration as a diplomatic figure, though she found little pleasure in it. She was thankful that Lexa had accompanied her, but on the twist side, she knew the visit would affect her girlfriend negatively. It had taken its toll on Lexa's demeanor. The girl had curled back into her shell. She seemed absent, even more so when they were around other people. It reminded Clarke of when she first met Lexa.

When they stood before the field with ceremonial pyres burning- without any bodies- to commemorate those they had lost, Clarke reached for Lexa's hand and squeezed it to offer _an 'It's going okay'_ and an 'I'm here with you for anything.' Lexa returned the grasp with a slight squeeze to tell Clarke she had heard her so to speak.

That afternoon, Clarke found Lexa sitting on a stone, sharpening her sword probably to occupy her mind. She sat behind her girlfriend, pulling her between her legs and startling the girl, and wrapped her arms around her waist. She felt Lexa stiffen, but a quick kiss to her shoulder softened her muscles and Lexa continued gliding the stone across the sword.

"How are you doing?" Clarke asked, and Lexa halted for a moment.

"I'll be okay," She assured and continued her actions only to stop them hastily. She placed her sword and stone on the ground and turned around to ask, "Are _you_ okay?" There was concern in her voice. Clarke offered a small smile.

"Yes, just worried about you," Clarke admitted and then felt Lexa squeeze Clarke's knee.

"Don't be." She insisted and pecked Clarke's lips before she turned around continued her initial work. Clarke leaned her head on Lexa's shoulder and stayed that way for the time it took Lexa to finish her job.

Lexa turned around, seemingly more at ease and snaked her hand behind Clarke's neck, an unexpected move considering Clarke blinked looking surprised. Lexa smirked and kissed her tenderly waiting for Clarke to reciprocate. A subtle caress of the tongue prompted Lexa to breathe in tightly and equaled Clarke's passion. She moaned quietly when their tongues crazed one another. When Lexa gently pulled her lips from Clarke's and rested her head against Clarke's while playing with the girl's hair, she whispered, "I love you,"

Clarke smiled and responded, "I love you too," with a bright smile that asked to be kissed again. Lexa pecked Clarke's lips one more time before she stood up and declared she would take Aris for a ride. "Want some company?" Clarke asked with a seductive tone, although not sure what she was insinuating. She was simply happy to be playful with her girlfriend as it was such a rare interaction these days.

Lexa's face fell a little which made Clarke's heart sink. Her cheeks flushed as she felt embarrassed, "Or not," She backtracked quickly. Lexa grasped her hand, however.

"I just need to clear my head before the celebration tonight." She smiled and then added, "I'll be all yours later," It made Clarke's breath hitch. She nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around her girlfriend's neck, embracing her tightly before the brunette looked for her dragon and took off.

* * *

 

The afternoon was warm for a winter's day, which allowed the fog to dissipate and for Lexa to appreciate the landscape of the shallows, which ironically was quite hilly. In the distance, she spotted what looked like smoke but on closer inspection was evaporation: small speckles of water dancing in the sky like those around a waterfall. That is when it hit her; it most likely belonged to the Keadon Falls. She did not mean for her curiosity to guide Aris towards it, but it did. It looked like two waterfalls streaming towards each other with a large break between them. An image of the Pass near the Boat clan came to her mind, and it looked exactly like this. Her heart start beating loudly, this was the first time she had found anything that remotely looked familiar, not even familiar, it was the same image, but everything else around it was wrong. Before she could get any closer, a large spear flew past her ear, and it snapped her into fight mode. She looked down and saw two men who were guarding what looked a road that led to the Keadon Falls. She hushed Aris and directed her to land in front of the guards.

"She won't do anything," She disclosed with her arms raised alongside her head so they would lower their weapons.

"Sorry," The older man growled. "You were flying awfully close to the border, and this seemed to be the only way to catch your attention. We weren't actually aiming at you," He revealed.

"Good aim," Lexa breathed while she looked passed them and enticed their suspicion. "Could you tell me about the Keadon Falls?"

The younger man squinted his eyes warily and grasped his weapon tightly when he asked, "Why? So you can find a way to cross the border and get yourself killed, get others that will search for you killed?" He bit. Lexa sighed, the legend of the Keadon Falls had been around for decades, and had been guarded by the same family.

"No," She lied. She then realized she had made up her mind unconsciously and she would investigate this place solely due to the fact that it looked exactly like something she had seen before. She turned away and mounted Aris while telling her to fly back to their camp.

She arrived at the camp and realized the sun was dipping quite low by now. Her heart was still beating erratically, and she felt like she was going to be sick. She couldn't stop thinking the Keadon Falls would offer her a clue on how to get home.

When she reached her tent, she saw Clarke finishing her makeup, which for a moment helped her forget any anxiety streaming through her veins. She was captured by the image of the girl sitting in front of her mirror. She looked so amazing it astounded Lexa, which materialized in a long steadying breath Lexa took and in result caught Clarke's attention. The blonde turned around, and her shoulder's visibly softened as if she had been stressed.

"There you are, I was starting to get worried." She scolded, but her disapproving tone soon disappeared when she noticed Lexa's eyes skimming over her body. Feeling like she had some kind of power, Clarke stood up and swayed her hips while she approached her girlfriend. Lexa's eyes particularly lingered on Clarke's cleavage. Lexa felt the need to cover herself in Clarke's scent, Clarke's touch, in her essence. She needed her heart to stop aching and to start living, and that's exactly what Clarke did to her. At this moment, she just wanted to forget, if only for an instance.

When Clarke cleared her voice, Lexa, immediately averted her eyes and blushed which tore laughter from Clarke's lips. "Like what you see?" Clarke asked with a smirk painting her face.

"You look-" Lexa breathed and for a moment pushed down the terrible things had been on her mind and aimed to devour Clarke right this instance. She pushed Clarke against the table and kissed her avidly. Her mouth quickly moved from her lips to her neck and nibbled at the flesh there while her hands found purpose in cupping Clarke's breasts. Clarke moaned loudly, astonished at the unexpected assault. She felt Lexa heave her onto the table and quickly anchored her legs around the girl's waist, yanking her body close. Clarke snaked her hands inside of Lexa's coat and glided her hands across the woolen shirt pushing a small whimper off Lexa's lips, which made her smirk into the kiss. Then, however, Clarke noticed how quick Lexa's movements were and how her usual gentleness, even during a passionate embrace, appeared to be absent here. She frowned but continued kissing her, until she felt Lexa's hand going south while almost ripping her dress. Unfortunately, what had been dissipating from Lexa's mind had translated into her actions. It wasn't entirely unusual for Lexa to be this eager, but it was unusual for her to be this eager with no foreplay. Lexa was pulling at Clarke's clothes, and suddenly it felt wrong. Something was wrong, so Clarke pushed her away. Lexa growled at the loss of contact and made Clarke frown, looking concerned.

"Are you okay?" Clarke questioned softly, but Lexa winced uncomfortably.

"I'm fine," She bit defensively, and then quickly straightened her back at the sight of Clarke's widened eyes. She instantly regretted her sudden outburst knowing the last few hours had influenced her behavior poorly.

She cleared her voice and blinked, "I apologize, I misread your signals," Lexa sounded embarrassed and formalized her speech, which indicated that her walls were up.

"You didn't, I just- you seem- "Clarke licked her lips, searching for the words, "distressed,"

"What makes you say that?" Lexa questioned feeling uncomfortable and recoiled slowly. Her mind was still buzzing. Clarke disallowed Lexa from stepping away further and drew her back. She then tangled her hand in Lexa's hair, at the base of her neck and pulled her close, but not so close that their lips would touch.

"I know you, heart and soul. I know your ticks, your actions, how fast and how slow you make them." Clarke declared. "I read your body better than my own, and I know when something is off." Clarke disclosed confidently and searched for green eyes. Lexa sighed, and Clarke could feel the muscles in her shoulders soften which signified Lexa's walls were falling down. Clarke's touch allowed the stones around her heart to crumble so easily.

"I found something," Lexa revealed and looked down as if to be unsure what to say next. That was when Clarke tucked her finger under Lexa's chin and raised it. Lexa's throat bobbed.

"What did you find?"

"I-" Lexa stammered and bit her lip, "The Keadon Falls-" Lexa's brow deepened, "I saw it, and I recognized it?" Lexa sounded confused, and Clarke could not proclaim to be the opposite.

"You mean you've been here before?" Clarke asked to clarify.  

"No, no- I," Lexa was in an agitated state now, and Clarke rubbed her hands up and down Lexa's arms. All the angst that she had tried to push down was gurgling up like undigested seafood, crawling up, and sickening the flesh.

 "Hey, it's okay. Come here, sit down." Clarke ushered her towards their bed and kneeled down in front of her after she sat her down.

"I've seen it but not here. I've seen it in the Boatclan." Lexa explained as she looked ahead of herself as if she tried to remember the image. Clarke did not exactly know what Lexa was talking about, but she understood the gravity of what Lexa felt. "Two waterfalls, heading towards each other, and deadly," Lexa's eyes bounced from right to left. "Unable to cross," Lexa whispered more to herself. Le

"Clarke-" Lexa's voice nearly broke her gaze still glued to the air in front of her. "I think I'm on the other side." She realized as she voiced it with a whisper. Of course, now it made sense. She was on the other side! She choked on a silent sob as the thoughts brimmed at the edge of her mind and threatened to topple over.

Everything she had been keeping inside of her for hours was pouring out. Only now did she truly realize how deeply affected she had been and how much her dilemma came to life, for if it were true if she was on the other side, it meant that somehow she had crossed it at fourteen and could, therefore, cross it again. That meant she had to leave. She never thought this day would come and if she was honest, she had hoped it wouldn't.

There was no way to dance around the issue. She no longer could afford to ignore her duty now that a solution presented itself to her. She needed to cross it again, just to know that she could and that she could once more be the leader her people deserved. She had an obligation and was always taught that her people came first. She belonged to her people, but looking into Clarke's eyes now, she knew that deep down at the core of her heart, she belonged to Clarke.

Tears streamed down her cheeks at the realization. Clarke didn't understand any of it. It wasn't possible. The Keadon Falls were literally the edge of the world. There was no other side, only a cliff that according to legend led to the land of the dead.

"Baby, that's impossible. You don't cross it without dying, literally." Clarke insisted, but Lexa was shaking her head. Before anything else could be said, a horn blew that indicated the start of the celebration. Clarke sighed and hunched forward because they needed to attend the starting ceremony.

She saw Lexa wiping her tears and standing up, hardening her expression while doing so. Clarke gulped and followed her while she watched her braid her hair in a single braid and apply her makeup while a single sniff echoed through their tent. She kissed Lexa's shoulder and mumbled against the skin, "We'll figure something out, okay?" Lexa didn't respond. Instead she simply started undressing to change her clothes.

"Lex," Clarke tugged at Lexa's arm and ordered the brunette the face her. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid or at least not alone," That was Clarke's way of saying that if she were to do something foolishly, she needed to include Clarke.

"You know I'd do anything for you," Clarke avowed and held Lexa's gaze. Lexa clenched her jaw but eventually gave a curt nod.

* * *

 

The evening dragged on with several official gestures, gifts, food and eventually an actual celebration with drinks and dancing. As the night grew thin, Clarke found herself watching Lexa more and more and noticed how absent the brunette appeared to be. She could hardly blame her. As an attempt to bring her back and offer her a little joy, Clarke held out her hand. Lexa looked up at her curiously, over the plate she had barely touched, and knitted her brows together.

"Come on, Woods. Don't leave me hanging now." Clarke tried to lighten the mood. Lexa winced mentally at the makeshift last name that somehow did not feel like hers anymore. Clarke was still hers, though, and the connection they had, that was still real and present. Lexa offered a meek smile and took Clarke's hand, allowing the blonde to lift her up.

It was a slower song, which Clarke was thankful for. It was an excuse to hold Lexa shamelessly close without showing too much public display of affection that would be considered inappropriate. She breathed out when her forehead found Lexa's and they swayed softly to the music.

After what seemed like an eternity, and Lexa had properly enjoyed the moment, she pushed herself to break it and asked Clarke, "When you said, you'd do anything for me-" She couldn't even finish her sentence before Clarke interrupted her.

"I meant it." Clarke's eyes were alive and pinned Lexa to one spot on the ground, although they were still swaying. A small sprinkle of hope stretched across her heart. Maybe Clarke would come with her. She wanted nothing more for Clarke to come with her, but that meant putting her in danger and taking her away from her home, her duty, and her family. She could not bear the thought of losing Clarke, but if Clarke were alive and happy, even without her, that would be enough for her. It was the only thing, she knew, would keep her going; knowing that Clarke would be alive and possibly happy, even if that meant she would be unhappy for the rest of her life.

"Get out of your head and talk to me," Clarke whispered and thus Lexa raised her eyes. Again, the hope thrived, and she found herself wishing the opposite. Heart over head, or head over heart. She kept switching between the two. It was an internal struggle her heart had to deal with. Feeling as though it was all too much, Lexa winced and pushed her away while muttering "I'm sorry,"

The girl felt like she could barely breath, she started walking, unknowingly but somehow, yes, knowingly, with Clarke on her tail.

"You're going to the Falls, aren't you?" Clarke asked without expecting an answer. 

"Lex, you're going to get yourself killed." She snapped, but the brunette did not falter. Clarke wanted to yell, shake her, but like she had told Lexa before, she knew the girl body and soul, and she knew that she would not convince her. 

"I won't change your mind will I?" Clarke asked. Lexa halted her movements, and her shoulders slumped. It's as she was already letting down Clarke. She turned around wanting to explain, but her words failed her.

"I'm coming with you," Clarke declared, and Lexa widened her eyes.

"Clarke, no-"

"It's not up for discussion," Clarke said holding out her hand and dressing herself in warm clothes, assuming they would be leaving soon.

"I won't risk your life." Lexa snapped.

"You're not. I am," Clarke said stubbornly and faced her girlfriend. "At least I'll be able to try keeping you from getting yourself killed," Clarke mumbled to herself. 

"You said you'd do anything for me. Well, I am asking you to stay, please. I can't bear the thought of risking your life." Lexa admitted.

"You can't ask that, and you think I _can_ bear it? You think you can just go? Leave me behind? Clarke scoffed angrily.

"I-" Lexa stuttered desperately.

"And what if you found a way of crossing it? Is that it? Goodbye?" Clarke interjected. All of the sudden Clarke was voicing both Lexa's deepest fear and her own. For years, Clarke had prepared herself for the day Lexa would find a way home, and for years, she had failed to appreciate the position she was in, which ended up being a blessing in disguise. She tried to become accustomed to being the heir, but she didn't feel as though she was a future leader. She wasn't like her father, and there were other people far more qualified than her to be a good leader. She had decided long ago that she would go with Lexa if the girl ever tried to find her home, but she had simply thought they had more time.

"No!" Lexa said quickly, but she had nothing to offer in return. "No," She whispered once more. She couldn't ask Clarke to come. Clarke would have to leave everything behind, but that bittersweet hope lingered.

"I'm going with you." Clarke surmised. Lexa wanted to argue, but there was truly no point, further tonight would not be the night she would be crossing even if she found a way. She would have to prepare and... say goodbye. The thought alone made Lexa sick to the stomach. Her thoughts quickly averted when Clarke stripped in front of her and pulled on tight black trousers.

"The night will cover us," Clarke muttered and threw a black woolen sweater at Lexa. Lexa agreed mentally that the only way they would pass that border was to travel the night sky. It was, however, creating a situation that was even more precarious and dangerous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't say I'm entirely happy with this chapter but I've rewritten it too many times and it's become longer in the process so I had to end the chapter ealier. 
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos, they always mean the world to me. 
> 
> See you next time folks!


	9. The blue city

Clarke held on tightly to Lexa when they crossed the border into the Keadon Falls. They had passed it much easier than they had anticipated. Then again, Aris was completely black and made no sound when needed. The night did cover them. Clarke's heartbeat slowed but only for a moment because the apprehension and terror of what lay ahead sunk in.

They felt a strong pull of wind already and watched the landscape thin out until there was nothing left but mossy rocks. Lexa squinted her eyes and told Aris to spew some fire so they could see a little better. What they saw was the deepest kind of blue mixed with Aris' fire. There was a profound sense of dread penetrating their hearts because the water's texture almost felt unnatural like it was more dense than liquid.

They landed on the rocks and felt the strain of the wind created by the falls wanting to press them against the ground.

"Lex! I don't think this is a good idea!" Clarke shouted, but her words failed to be heard. The wind was so strong, and the sound of falling water was so loud, that Lexa couldn't understand what Clarke was saying.

Lexa looked back at the falls, and Clarke noticed a determined look fall upon her girlfriend's face which already told her the actions Lexa was about to commit.

"Lex!" Clarke wrapped her fingers tightly around Lexa's forearm. "No!" She shook her head so the message was clear, but it failed to convince the brunette. The girl looked back behind her, then again at Clarke with an apologetic expression and kissed Clarke fervently before she murmured inaudible words, "Trust me," to Clarke.

She mounted Aris before Clarke could stop her. Aris looked up at her and mashed her lips together uncomfortably, especially because she felt Clarke's anguish. The animal looked unsure but watched Lexa's stubborn expression and felt like she should match it. She dug her nails in the moss and snorted heavily in anticipation of her flight.

"Lexa!" Clarke was angry now, but they had taken flight. This was dangerous, and they could barely see, the moon wasn't bright enough to illuminate the night, that was the whole reason they were able to pass the border so easily. The girl flew away and only frustrated Clarke more. "Fuck!" Clarke cried and dragged her hand through her hair anxiously.

Lexa gripped Aris tightly and tried to fly over the Falls. The task seemed simple enough, if she could only pass the crevice, she would be on the other side. The pull of the air became harsher, the closer she got, and before she knew it, she was pressed against Aris' back. She tried to get up but she was pressed down with such force, no amount of muscle would have been able to help her. It all happened so fast, though, she had barely the time to process the fact that she was sinking lower towards the vast blue water.

Even though it was too dark to truly see enough details, Clarke could make out the silhouette of Aris, struggling against the wind. Then she watched Aris duck, but it wasn't done with purpose. Lexa yelped when she felt a sudden change in altitude. It felt like she was being sucked and pushed at the same time. The water appeared to be stones, blue stones, which explained why the water had an unnatural color. The liquid appeared to be thicker the closer she got to it.

Something was wrong. Clarke could feel it, and when Aris screeched in distress, those feelings were validated. Lexa's heart rate had become erratic, and regret stained her mouth because the danger they were both in had pierced her mind the minute she heard Aris shriek. Instantly, she wanted to turn back and shouted at Aris to do so, to abandon this task. The blue was coming closer, and it was as if the sky was distancing itself from her. The air around her was ephemeral, coming from all directions, and bit into her skin. It was colder than she expected.

"Lex!" Clarke cried so loudly her voice broke. She watched Aris climb back up away from the water, but she constantly appeared to be pulled down by swift air. "No, please!" Clarke desperately cried when she saw the crevice sucking both Aris and Lexa between the two falls.

Lexa could not believe the situation she had put Aris in, what she had put herself in. She attempted to look back, across the Falls, but somehow couldn't. It was like a mirror had been placed in front of her. She could only make out water specks. Aris growled loudly, and her adrenaline kicked in. She wasn't the strongest kind of dragon but hell she was not going to let this be her downfall.

It wasn't a painless thing to activate the electricity in her body when there was no thunder, but it was worth it. She needed to get herself but also Lexa out of there. With one last flap of her wings, putting all her power into it, Aris managed to dip her head above the crevice and conquer the air. She looked down and fired a strong flame to propel her upwards. It didn't do much, but it was enough to fly high enough and escape the strong suction that lay between the falls. The dragon gritted her teeth harshly as she fought her way back to land, back to Clarke. Finally, she managed to break free from what felt like two hands keeping her down.

Clarke could see Aris clearly, and she felt relieved when the dragon made its way back to the rocks. The dragon plummeted into the dirty moss and collapsed on the rocks after she had tried getting up. Lexa was still gripping onto Aris because she had not realized they were safe.

"Lex!" Clarke ran towards the dragon. Lexa appeared to fine, albeit exhausted from the brief encounter with death.

"The fuck were you doing!?" Clarke shouted as she gripped Lexa tightly. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?" She cried angrily, and Lexa heard her words clearly now that they were so close. Lexa appeared to be in shock. The trembles in her body only calmed Clarke a little. Clarke pressed a soft-limbed Lexa to her body. "Fuck!" She cursed again. Eventually, Lexa looped her weak arms around Clarke.

"I'm sorry," Lexa quavered still. "I'm sorry," She repeated to Aris who whined silently and breathed fitfully. "I thought-" Lexa stuttered and rested her head on Clarke's shoulder, still recovering from what had happened. Clarke grabbed Lexa by the shoulders and gazed into the girl's eyes, then wiped away the wet hair strands sticking to Lexa's cheek. She kissed her avidly and then looked at Aris.

The animal appeared to be exhausted, but they couldn't stay here, who knew how ebb and flow worked here, if at all? She patted Aris, and the dragon nodded. One last push. Clarke placed Lexa in front of her, even though the girl was still in shock. Although Clarke was outraged with Lexa for being so reckless, she could already imagine the guilt the girl was experiencing for putting herself, Aris and Clarke in danger. She sighed and knew it was going to be a long night.

Aris took off, and this time the winds were stronger than before at a higher altitude. No, not again, was what was on Aris' mind, but there was no helping it. She had lost most of her strength while trying to get Lexa to land and although she was flying over land, she was being pushed back violently. She regretted not staying on that rock now, as the air seemed less powerful there. It was like the strokes of wind had changed altitude or had multiplied and they were being sucked back.

Lexa realized what path they were back on and tried to figure something out. She would not let Clarke die, not now, not ever. She instructed Aris to fly low, to duck, anything, to get them on land but even when they reached the rocks they were on before, it was like Aris had been picked up and launched into the crevice. Clarke was arguing for more solutions but it was useless, they were crashing. Clarke hid her face in Lexa's back, anticipating their demise.

"No!" Lexa screamed internally.

The wind stung Lexa's cheeks, and she could feel Aris' muscles beneath her struggling to keep them upright. Clarke's fingers were curled in Lexa's jacket, so tightly it almost pierced her skin. What was puzzling is why they were not wet. The crevice seemed to widen, and the water became less violent. Laws of the earth prohibited what she was seeing, but somehow she knew it was real. Clarke had closed her eyes and had yet to open them. She tried to savor the moment before she assumed they would fall to their death. Only once had the thought of why she hadn't been able to convince Lexa not come in the first place, crossed her mind. After that all she could think of was Lexa. If she were to die, she wanted it to be this way, holding onto Lexa until she finally could not hold on at all.

The blow never came. Weight stumbled slowly onto the ground. Clarke looked around, puzzled at how they didn't fall to their deaths. Lexa turned around swiftly and reached for Clarke.

"Clarke?" She trembled, and Clarke nodded. "We're alive?" She asked, feeling the weigh ton her heart disappear. The relief came too violently, and because of it, tears swelled up in her eyes. "I thought we were going to- Spirits, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Lexa shook, but Clarke was too busy feeling relieved that they were alive, that Lexa was alive, to feel angry. They pressed together so tightly it almost hurt.

"It's okay," She whispered, not sure whether she was telling herself or Lexa. What she did know, was that she never wanted to let go of her. "What the hell happened? How are we alive?" Clarke didn't know who asked the questions, whether it was her or Lexa. She could barely process what had happened or where they were.

Lexa sniffed, and her grip on Clarke relented when she checked the girl over. "Are you okay?" Her voice shook, and Clarke had never heard or seen Lexa the way she presented herself to her now. Clarke was too stunned to respond which caused Lexa's state to escalate.

"Clarke!" She was padding down the girl's body, and she was comforted when she found no sign of blood or broken bones. Her eyes sagged when she breathed out. She couldn't believe how selfish she had been. Those falls had been like a flame, and she was the moth approaching it, wishing for death. Her selfishness and recklessness had almost killed them all, and the guilt of that weighed down on her.  

"I don't-" Lexa quavered, her lips shuddering with every sound. Clarke blinked and wrapped her hands around Lexa's neck.

"It's okay, we're okay," Clarke said, brushing her hand over Lexa's shoulder while working her mind to the issue at hand. She looked up and around her, and all that came to mind was blue. It was so blue. And it was beautiful, but she didn't know where she was, which turned said beauty into a subliminal uneasiness that tainted the air. Like a golden cage, they were trapped within a sapphire colored wasteland.  The stones multiplied by a dozen with each new level until they reached the water that had failed to fall but streamed away inwardly.

"Where are we?" Clarke questioned aloud. Lexa wiped her tears, knowing that she had made a mistake and Clarke should not be the one to comfort her, especially because she was the one paying the price so dearly.

"I don't know," Lexa murmured, and Aris growled, spitting fire at the water, but it evaporated quickly, without leaving a trace, or changing the streams. Aris tried again and again before Lexa hushed her. The dragon shrieked at her, angry and upset. "I'm sorry," Lexa whispered, and her words echoed. She had let down both Clarke and Aris. The dragon tried flying up but there was no use, it just kept falling back down as if gravity worked differently here.

Lexa heard it first, footsteps, steady and quiet, heading their way. She gasped and ran to Clarke who was tracing the water with her fingers.

"What?" Clarke snapped a little when she felt a firm grip on her arm. When their eyes met, however, Clarke realized something was up, and her eyes darted across the space. "Lex-" Clarke's words were interjected by a sharp shush stumbling from Lexa's lips. Lexa pointed at her ear, hoping to communicate what she heard to Clarke.

The water that was rushing down crowded the soundscape of the space they were in, so Clarke could barely hear anything else. Then she heard them too, and soon enough a bald man stood in front of them. Lexa positioned herself in front of Clarke and Aris did the same for both girls. She screeched at him and opened her mouth to show the fire preparing there.

Lexa blinked thinking the face looked slightly familiar. Then the torch illuminated his face and Lexa looked down because he was not the person she thought him to be. He looked like Titus, but only because of his lack of hair and the robe he was wearing. She felt disappointed, why that was, was beyond her comprehension. What did she think was going to happen? She would almost kill not only herself, but also Clarke, and then happily meet her teacher who would take her home?

"I am H." He spoke with a soft tone. His lips curled around every syllable uncomfortably as if he was not used to speaking, either the language or speaking in general. He walked towards them and Lexa's stance became more rigid and defensive.

Aris must have lost her nerve because she fired at the man, but he deflected it so easily. The fire did not burn him; it went through him as it evaporated or as if he was made of the same water that coated the walls blue.

"There is no need for that," He urged sounding annoyed.

"What do you want?" Lexa asked.

"To help you, Lexa." He stated, and Lexa blinked quickly, trying to process this complete stranger had spoken her name. She examined him again, but it wasn't Titus, his face was round, and his eyes were brown. In fact, he looked nothing like him on close inspection.

"How-" Lexa quivered.

"We only prepared one room. We did not expect you," He revealed looking at Clarke. Clarke's stomach turned in different uncomfortable knots. She gripped Lexa's hand tightly as if someone was trying to take the girl away from her. This all felt wrong, and she was overcome with the sudden desire to turn back and go home, but the expression of hope written on Lexa's face cause her to act differently.

"Lex-" It slipped out. Clarke was afraid, and Lexa's name had evermore rolled off her tongue so easily, it was the only thing she managed to utter. Lexa glanced at her and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. Lexa needed this, whatever this was.

They followed the man, against Clarke's instincts, and entered a large double door that they had not seen when they crashlanded earlier. Clarke's heartbeat was throbbing in her throat, and she clung to Lexa for dear life. She was grateful for Aris. The dragon's presence gave her comfort and was a sign of home and their possible return. The animal yapped, the sound laced with irritation, as she inspected its surroundings. Aris managed to lighten the mood with her unusual grumpy tone, so much it caused Clarke to chuckle quietly.

They finally entered a large hall painted with different doors. There were three corridors leading to different rooms, looking like halls. A young woman approached them and offered to take Aris to their stables. Lexa appeared uneasy and skeptical.

"I won't hurt her, besides she's a Nightfury, she'll do more to me than the other way around." She reassured, but Lexa was far from it. She shifted from one leg to the other and glanced at Aris who had crouched down to the floor with her ears flattened back. Lexa sighed because the animal was obviously in distress. She walked over to her and caressed her snout lovingly.

"It's okay," She whispered and watched the ears lose their tension, indicating she managed to calm Aris down a little. "Can't she just stay here, wait here?" Lexa asked, directing her tone at the woman. It was a big hall, but she wouldn't fit in the small hallways Lexa anticipated they would take them through.

"The children will be out soon," The woman revealed. Clarke's eyes widened at the new information for she had never considered that.

"Children?" Clarke stuttered. The woman looked at H as if she said something that could get her in trouble.

"What is going on here?" Clarke demanded to know, but H put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Generally, Clarke would have flinched at a stranger's touch, but his hand comforted her heart more than Lexa even had since they had landed here.

"All will be clear in due time," He comforted kindly. Lexa was still petting Aris when she noticed Clarke's whole demeanor relaxing.

"Clarke?" She voiced after agreeing to let the woman take Aris and encouraged the dragon to follow suit. The blonde smiled widely, a smile that reminisced early mornings when waking up after a long night of passion. She looked at her girlfriend quizzically, afraid H had done something incorrect to her, but the girl shook her head.

"I'm fine," She nodded and took hold of Lexa's hand. Slowly the feeling of comfort dissipated and the small sense of apprehension returned.

H led them forward, through the left corridor and they entered what looked like one of Jake's war room, clad with maps and weapons. There, two more men stood, looking almost identical to H.

"Two?" One asked.

"Two?" Another asked, and then different men came out of 'hiding'? They appeared to be popping out from under desks, or behind doors and bookcases all with the same question on their tongues: "Two?'

Clarke felt a flare of irritation glazing her ribs. Yes, two! So, they were two. She wanted answers. She wanted them now. She felt so impatient all of the sudden. She was ready to burst if one more person said the word 'two.'

One of them chuckled; he was older and appeared to be struggling coming down from the stairs. "Welcome, both of you," He was the only one voicing different words, but Clarke felt compelled to grab Lexa's hand for reassurance. Lexa looked at her and squeezed her hand as if to say _'it's okay, I'm here.'_

"Caius? You foresaw two?" One asked Caius, so he nodded and sat down with a struggling gasp.

"Two," He smiled, and Clarke couldn't help rolling her eyes. "Welcome to our city Clarke and Lexa," His voice was hoarse, but Clarke had no problem hearing the words. She widened her eyes and helplessly looked at Lexa. Clarke wanted to beg _'Let's go home,_ ' but unfortunately, she wasn't sure how they would or if Lexa even wanted to. She appeared to be the only one in distress, even though she had felt at ease a few minutes ago. It all confused her, so much.

"Enough with all the riddles," Lexa barked as if she sensed Clarke's discomfort. "Tell us what this is. Who are you? And how do you know our names?" She demanded and Caius smiled.

"We know all that happens in our city, including what will happen." He answered then waved his hand dismissively, "Different cultures or realms, call this place different things. The people here call it the land of the dead, but it has been called the blue city, or the spirit falls or even," He directed his eyes at Lexa, "Gouthru in kon keyron." He spoke in Trigedasleng and caused Lexa's eyes to widen with astonishment. If her mind were not flooding with questions, she would have felt her heart soar from hearing words in her mother tongue for the first time in six years.

"Yu chich op Trigedasleng?" Lexa whispered. It sounded like a question, but it was more of a remark. Clarke pulled Lexa towards her and looked at her with perplexed eyes. She knitted her brows together because she tried to understand what was going on. She knew this was Lexa's language because she remembered the girl's diaries, but she needed Lexa to confirm it.

Lexa nodded without even needing Clarke to verbalize the question.

"We speak many languages, Lexa. We are the thread between all worlds." Lexa blinked because she understood what this was. For a moment she had been distracted and most certainly surprised by their ability to speak Trigedasleng, but now she realized what he had said. This was the passage of the spirit. The spirit's sanctuary, where its guards lived. She arched eyebrows and then closed her eyes when the reality of where she was settled in. She felt humbled.

"The guards of the passage." She murmured, her eyes glued to the imagery in front of her, "I am honored." Lexa quavered and bowed her head. Clarke who was less spiritual than Lexa breathed out harshly.

"The land of the dead is a fairy tale told to children to soften the blow of death. This is-" Clarke was shaking her head. "You're lying, this is crazy." She turned to Lexa and gripped the girl's arm. "We're going. I don't like this." Clarke stuttered, but Lexa held a tight grip on her hands.

"Clarke-"

"This is crazy," Clarke argued and turned on her heels. She was freaking out. Lexa knew this. She sighed deeply and looked around before nodding and following Clarke into the hallway.

"Baby," Lexa whispered when she saw Clarke leaning against the wall. Clarke had never been religious. Their religion had become part of tradition, children's stories, but never reality. No one practiced. Lexa, however, was and as much as Clarke loved listening to Lexa's mythology about her world and the spirits, this was too much. The fact that it might be real was too hard for her to swallow. Clarke had her hands covering her face to try to make some sense of things.

"Clarke," Lexa murmured, then captured Clarke's hands and looped them around her waist to envelop Clarke in a tight hug. She hushed and petted the blond locks tenderly.

"How can you just believe it so easily?" Clarke demanded, but she shook her head, "Don't answer that." She ordered knowing the answer already. Clarke looked back to the room where they all appeared to talk amongst themselves. She sighed.

"This is crazy," She repeated.

"They speak my language. Whether it's true what they're saying or not, I need ask them some questions." Lexa spoke sadly. "It's the first time, there's anything real from my world here. I need to know if I can-"

"Go back." Clarke interjected and she felt tears swell up. "Does that mean if they know how to get you home, that you'll go?" Clarke asked weakly. The tremble in her voice revealed just how afraid she was of the answer. Lexa cocked her head and sighed. When she closed her eyes, she pressed their foreheads together.

"I don't know," It wasn't a lie. She wanted to know what they knew about her land. She would go back at some point, but that didn't mean she wouldn't come back. Okay, that is a lie, but Clarke could come with her. Lexa felt an ache in her chest because she felt like this was the end of something, like the words she had just spoken had been a lie after all. Perhaps, she just didn't want to face it.

"All I know is that I love you and I don't want to be without you," _that_ wasn't a lie.

"Me too," Clarke murmured and felt a little reassured, but her instincts were screaming at her that this was the end.

* * *

 

Clarke looked at Lexa after she had returned to their room and couldn't believe what had all just happened in the span of a few hours. Only yesterday, they were happy-ish, and now their entire world was in shambles. Clarke selfishly wished they had never come here.

 

_They had been discussing for hours how they knew Lexa's language, the different worlds, the lore and it had become clear to both Clarke and Lexa that they weren't being lied to._

_"Can you see into worlds?" Lexa asked carefully, and they nodded. Their face appeared to knit into a regretful grimace, which in turn elevated Lexa's heart rate. For years, Lexa had wondered whether her absence had caused any havoc and going by the expression on their faces, she knew it had._

_"How bad is it?" She whispered, and the men looked amongst each other until H spoke up._

_"After you disappeared, the peace between Trikru and broadleaf, you had created, fell, even the Boat Clan after a few years forsook the alliance between them and the Trikru. The whole territory has been in chaos, especially because the body of the commander has never been found, and therefore never been burned. There has been no new commander; they could not find another with the flame." He revealed, and Lexa had to sit down._

_"They believe the Spirit has abandoned them, punished them," Lexa breathed in deeply and turned away to hide her face._

_"Queen Nia has abused the lands, conquered them by any means, and enticed wars, Lexa." Lexa closed her eyes, shaking her head. That was the last straw to break her back. It meant there was no choice left. She had to go back. Her people would always come first, especially now that they needed her._

_"How many-"_

_"Hundreds die every day during each war. Your people need you," A tear slipped down Lexa's cheek._

_"I know," She whispered and looked regretfully at Clarke. Clarke understood then that Lexa was leaving and the fears she had cherished since Lexa had told her about the falls came true._

_"How would I even return?" Lexa asked, not daring to glance at Clarke who as she assumed would be heartbroken that she was leaving._

_"We guard most passages between worlds, there wouldn't be an issue of you returning to your place of birth, in fact, it would restore some balance." Lexa nodded and looked behind her at Clarke, but the girl could not meet her gaze._

_"Balance?"_

_"Yes, we are not quite sure how you ended up here," He admitted, and Lexa wanted to snort. Neither did she. "It shouldn't be possible." He pointed out, and that made Lexa pause._

_"What?" Lexa uttered. Caius cleared his throat._

_"One cannot enter a different world without a bond of blood, heritage or soul, none you possess to this world." Caius informed her, but it was what made Clarke snap back into the conversation. She had been trying to figure out how she would break the news to her parents that she would be leaving. It had never been a question whether or not she would go with Lexa. She had never taken to the role of heir or chief. She was convinced that she wasn't meant to be a leader to her people, nor did she want to be. She always wanted to explore new territories, this would be her chance, but that all dilapidated when she heard of the impossibility of Lexa's presence in their world, which meant the impossibility of Clarke in Lexa's._

_"What do you mean?" Clarke demanded. With a tender hand, Lexa attempted at grounding Clarke, but the blonde flinched._

_"It means that one cannot enter a different world unless they were born there, or they share a bond of blood or soul with another person of that world." Clarke gasped._

_After that, it all seemed to be a bit of blur. Clarke could only remember her mind spinning and her heart falling out of her chest or appearing to at least. She briefly remembers Lexa, in their room, right before she had taken off._

_"Clarke-" She had trembled, but Clarke remembered she couldn't handle it and ran out of the room they had offered them. She only came back, hours later. What had happened between her running out of the room and her returning was as much of a blur as the end of their conversation with Caius._

Clarke sighed and placed her head on her knees while she massaged her fingers into her neck and finally allowed the tears to fall. She felt like her heart was vanishing into her veins. It hurt so badly.  A part of her had always believed that wherever Lexa would be, she would be, because Lexa was her home. Growing up, she had vowed never to belong to anyone, to always look out for herself and live her life for herself and never for another, but when she met Lexa she understood that one could belong to oneself but also to another. She truly believed that if she lost Lexa, she would lose a part of herself. She hated herself for wishing Lexa not to go.

Lexa shifted, finally waking up. If the brunette was being truthful, she didn't want to wake up, because that meant she had to face her inevitable decision. She braced herself and shielded her heart with walls she had never kept around Clarke after she had fallen in love with her. This time, the walls were required for her to get through this. She needed to remind herself that her people needed her, and this decision was one to be made with her head and not her heart, for her heart did not belong to her anymore.

Clarke watched her and soon recognized that look, a look she hadn't been on the end of since they had first met.

"Don't do that, not with me," Clarke begged when she watched Lexa's feature change into a stoic, hardened expression. "Please," Clarke whispered, but Lexa looked down and swallowed tightly. "We can handle this," Clarke lied, and a tear slipped down her cheek as if to prove her dishonesty.

Lexa looked tired, like a part of her had already died. "I don't know what to do," Lexa whispered weakly, more to herself.

"That's a lie," Clarke blurted out and inadvertently evoked the spirit of the commander to reign, because she had called Lexa out and with it had Lexa cowering behind the commander to make this decision, for _Lexa_ would never _choose_ to leave Clarke, but the _commander_ would. That was until Clarke spoke again and nearly destroyed the mask of the commander.

"Lex... please-please don't leave me," Clarke knew it wasn't fair, but fair went out of the window the minute she realized Lexa was slipping away, and she might lose forever. All restraint Lexa had tried to gather when she woke up had faltered for a moment. Clarke's words cut right into Lexa's heart, and all the girl wanted was to tell Clarke, ' _No, never!'_  or the impossible wish of _'Come with me._ '

Clarke could clearly see the internal turmoil and wanted to reach Lexa, but the brunette raised her chin a little and clenched her jaw. Leaving Clarke would kill Lexa, but Lexa needed to be the commander, for her people and to be that, 'Lexa' needed to die anyways. Titus had always told her, to be commander is to be alone.  For years she had struggled with the possibility of returning, but also, of the possibly of leaving Clarke simultaneously. She had had the luxury, in a way, of not thinking about it, of allowing her heart to flower, until this afternoon when the possibility presented itself to her and she could no longer ignore her destiny.

"I don't have a choice, Clarke," Lexa said passively, but Clarke could clearly hear the subtle quivering in Lexa's voice. _I never have_ was on the tip of Lexa's tongue. Lexa's throat bobbed and her eyes so soft betrayed her, so she tried to distance herself from Clarke by literally creating space between them and turning her back on her to put her boots back on.

Clarke not being able to hide behind a facade of a four-hundred-year-old template, which is what the Spirit of the commander was, left her feeling sick. The more she thought about it, the more she lost all sense of balance. Up was down, and she could not make out the ceiling from the floor.

"You do!" Clarke broke down on the floor, clutching her stomach out of fear it might stumble onto the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure about this chapter because it still feels rushed but I'm afraid I'll make it worse if I keep tinkering with it. I hope it's not too bad :)
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments they always meant the world to me
> 
> See you next time, folks!


	10. Golden Shimmers

_"You do!" Clarke had yelled._

They ended up both broken and exhausted on the floor, clutching to each other hours later. When Clarke's knees hit the floor, it had cracked the surface of Lexa's walls and eventually the brunette had joined her. She had owed Clarke this much, to feel everything, together.

Now, she was stroking small hairs at the bottom of Clarke's neck, they were thin and curled around Lexa's fingers easily.

Every time Lexa looked at Clarke ' _Come with me'_ dangled on the tip of her tongue. It would be so easy to ask, but with it, she would be asking so much more of Clarke. What if she couldn't make Clarke happy there? She would be by the side of the commander, in Polis, she would be living with a whole different Lexa.

This time when Lexa looked at Clarke, Clarke had become tired of seeing that same look of turmoil, and finally asked, "What is it, babe? Just tell me." Clarke demanded.  

"I feel- I don't know," Lexa muttered. She looked back and decided Clarke needed to make this decision. Lexa could not make it for her, no matter how much it would hurt to have Clarke say no after presenting her a possibility of being together.

"I can't ask you to come with me," Lexa admitted, not quite being able to phrase the question.

"Why not?" Clarke's voice broke. _That was a possibility?_ Clarke furrowed her brows, and her breathing picked up. She could go? "I could come with you?" It was barely a whisper.

"Yes," Lexa said, and she felt so hopeful, so hopeful, but she shook her head as if she thought she was only kidding herself. No, hope was a weakness. Lexa closed her eyes and shook her head before she added, "You have responsibilities here, your people-"

"My people belong to my father. I'm not-" Clarke felt frustrated as she clenched her jaw. "I've never aspired to be a leader you know that, my dad knows that," Clarke concluded determinedly.

"You were born to be a leader Clarke," Lexa replied weakly but only angered Clarke.

"Stop!" Clarke screwed her eyes shut. " Tell me what you mean." She ordered and opened her eyes to face Lexa with icy blue eyes filled with determination. She watched the brunette swallow.

"The bond by soul would make it a  possibility," Lexa revealed. "But Clarke-" Clarke didn't even hear what Lexa was saying next because her heart was overflowing with relief. She could go. She could go with Lexa.

"-You'd lose your family, your home? To be with me, and I'd be a different person. My people would have to come first." Lexa ranted. "And what if you're not happy? You wouldn't be able to bond with anyone, ever again." Lexa shook her head. "No," Lexa muttered to herself as if to have made the decision.

"What?" Clarke blinked. "Wait! Yes. I'm going with you."

"Clarke, did you listen to what I just said?" Lexa asked, and Clarke sighed.

"Babe, do you think this is the first time I've thought about this? I've even talked to my mom and dad about this. We all made peace with it that I would go with you. Even my mom-" Clarke chuckled, but Lexa found that hard to believe. "Okay, so maybe they're not super happy about it, but they know my mind is set about this. And we- _I_ could come back, right?" Clarke asked nervously.

"In theory, yes," Lexa mumbled absentmindedly as she looked around.

"Look at me," Clarke reached for her arm and pulled Lexa into her. "How could you think I wouldn't go with you?" Clarke asked, her heart coloring her words. A tear was stuck at the brim of her eye. "It's always you and me." Clarke cupped Lexa's face.

"What if you're not happy there? What if it's not enough?" What Lexa meant was, _'what if I'm not enough'_  and Clarke had learned to understand what Lexa actually meant when she expressed words like that.  "Won't it hurt more if it wouldn't-" Lexa's lips quivered as she breathed in and swallowed her words. Clarke kissed her to soothe those trembles.

"No, because we would have given it a chance. It'll always be _you_ and _me_." Clarke avowed determinedly and created a small smile on Lexa's face

"You and me and both of our people," Lexa pointed out and caused Clarke to sigh.

"Yeah, but I'd still be with you, and I know I could make a life there," Clarke concluded.

"You don't even know what it's like there Clarke," Lexa chided remembering how hard life was in her territory, "and you wouldn't be able to bond with anyone, ever again," Lexa told her seriously. "It's not like in Arkadia." She pointed out.

"I know," Clarke responded.

"Do you? I asked you once, and you said no," Lexa argued almost angrily. It's not like Clarke hadn't wanted to, she had wanted to wait. That was all.  "And that was the Arkadia kind of bond, not this, not a bonding by soul. It goes beyond the flesh." Lexa added and made it clear they would be bonded beyond this life. It didn't faze Clarke though. It didn't make a difference to her. 

"That was then. If we get to stay together because of it-" Clarke argued, but Lexa interjected.

"I don't just want you to do it because of that!" Lexa hissed now truly angry. "I want you to want us to be bonded in this life and the next. This is a big deal, and you shouldn't take it lightly." Lexa barked.

"I don't! I want you because I love you," Clarke insisted. "Lexa, look at me," Clarke searched for Lexa's eyes. "You know me, and you would know if I were lying." Clarke declared. Lexa looked in her eyes, finally and indeed couldn't find any deception in them.

"I just wanted it to be special, not because the circumstances demanded it," Lexa deplored, but Clarke quickly kissed her.

"I love you. The reason why I wanted to wait before was because no one would have accepted it in my culture, not then. It's uncommon to marry- _bond_ so young without any divorce, but the feelings I have for you are real and that desire to share my life with you is real too." Clarke promised. She then sat up on her knees and continued, "You always talk about different lives. That means I'd get to keep you in the next one too. We'd be happy. I know we would be." Clarke insisted.

Lexa allowed herself to hear Clarke's words and to find comfort there. "Yeah?" Lexa's voice broke. She had expected Clarke to say no. She had expected to say goodbye to her still.

"Yeah," Clarke chuckled and kissed her deeply.

As a tear rolled down her cheek, Lexa whispered, "Okay," Just saying it caused her heart to leap into her throat, but what she felt was relief. As if the heavy burden on her heart had been lifted, too quickly and now her heart was leaping up, as if to be escaping her chest.

Clarke smiled and breathed out an easy puff, "Thank the spirits," She hugged her tightly and knew she wouldn't have to let her go. Not now, not ever.

"Yeah," Clarke chuckled and pressed their foreheads together. "Now where can we find a priest in this place?" Clarke joked, and happy tears started streaming down Lexa's cheeks as she choked on a laugh. She sniffed and kissed Clarke.

"They're not priests," Lexa corrected.

"One of those bald guys then," Clarke chuckled and felt tears dripping down her own chin. "Fuck, I didn't think I'd have any left," She said referring to her wet cheeks.

After that, they fell asleep together, exhausted from the rollercoaster that they had gone through the last two days.

* * *

 

"A bonding ceremony?" H questioned the next morning.

"Yes," responded both Clarke and Lexa. He looked them over skeptically.

"A bonding shouldn't be taken  _this_ lightly." He claimed and dismissed them with his hand as he turned his back on them.

"We don't," Clarke argued, but he wasn't convinced. Both girls followed him as he walked towards the hall they had been in before. He appeared preoccupied what looked like classifying books.

That's when Caius spoke up, "H, your stubbornness will get you nowhere, boy."

H looked up, confused and a slight blush crept up from behind his ears to his cheeks. "Cain- Master Caius," He stuttered and the old man, now without effort, walked towards him.

This place continued to astonish both Clarke and Lexa. Only yesterday had they seen him struggling down the stairs and look at him now.

"A bonding is a great celebration." The old man smiled and his expression extended to Lexa and Clarke who were standing by the opening of the doorway. H blinked and opened his mouth but paused.

H swallowed before he asked, "You've foreseen this?"

"Two," Caius answered holding up his index and middle finger to the man.

"Two," H responded and looked over his should towards Clarke and Lexa. He looked back now even more befuddled, "Surely, Master Caius those are not the two you foresaw?" He disagreed, but Caius lifted his chin, in a similar manner as Lexa would.

"You question my abilities?" Caius asked.

H widened his eyes, and with the sharp slam of the book he had in hand, he scrambled forward and sputtered, "No of course not! Forgive me,"

 H looked back once more, this time with his lips pursed in a tight line. "Very well, I will prepare the ritual. You will bond tonight." He ordered. Then, grumpily so, in one swift movement, he turned on his heels, whirling his robe around him and caused a dull breeze.

Caius chuckled lightly and looked at them both, "Now then, anything I can do for you ladies before your bonding?" He asked, and Lexa heaved her shoulders, but Clarke bit the inside of her cheek.

"I don't even know if this is possible, but I'd like to see my parents, tell them," Clarke told him, and he nodded thoughtfully.

"Yes, and the dragon of course," He muttered, and Lexa felt her heart clench. Soon, Clarke found her hand and squeezed it, feeling quite similarly. They could hardly take them with them. She turned her head and pressed her lips against Lexa's shoulders. _It's okay_ were the thoughts she was sending.

He appeared to be looking for something in a particular cabinet. Clarke threw a confused looking glance at Lexa who simply shrugged. Then Caius turned around with a paper in hand and smiled widely with his already visible wrinkles thickening.

Then he crumpled the paper and threw it on the floor. Soon enough, a thick wooden door appeared on the floor. It was a hatch. 

"You'll find the dragon down there. You'll only be a few minutes away from the camp you were staying at." He assured.

"How will we get back?" Clarke asked, but Lexa winced. She had no intention of going back to say goodbye. It felt like it was all too much and yes, she knew she was selfish, but if she was going to prepare herself to go back, she couldn't let her feelings overwhelm her. Going back and saying goodbye, facing possible anger appeared to be just that.

As Caius handed another paper to Clarke with instructions of returning, Lexa reached for her hand. "Clarke-" She whispered solemnly.

"Come on," Clarke smiled, and Lexa remembered that she needed to say goodbye to Aris. The rest might be too much but she needed to explain this to Aris, or the dragon wouldn't understand. Lexa pursed her lips and watched Caius throw the ball of paper on the floor which formed a hatch there.

"Through here?" Clarke questioned, and Caius nodded. The blonde heaved the large hatch or tried to. Clarke barely managed to lift it, so Lexa swiftly helped her and watched the blonde disappear into the floor before she followed her.  They climbed down a few rocks and saw a yellow looking mass below them. It didn't disappear as they hopped down in a tree grove. 

By the time they reached the grass, they heard Aris yip. The dragon appeared relieved when she saw Lexa and nuzzled her quickly.

"Hey, girl," Lexa rolled her fingers over the thick skin. She kissed her snout and smiled sadly.

"We should get going if we want to make it back by tonight," Clarke wrapped her hand around Lexa's hip, from behind, and rested her chin on Lexa's shoulder. She felt Lexa sigh and the minute their eyes met Clarke understood.

"You're not coming," Clarke stated. Lexa looked down.

"It's just-" It was too much, already trying to muster up some kind of goodbye to Aris was draining her, and she needed to be ready. The minute she entered her world, she would be Heda.

Clarke sighed and cupped Lexa's cheeks. She then kissed her chastely only to have Aris snort uncomfortably. With one last peck Clarke walked away to give them a moment of privacy. Aris appeared perplexed. She nuzzled Lexa's elbow and turned her head from where Clarke was to Lexa again.

"I know, I know, you're going home soon," Lexa told her, and Aris snorted. Aris' back paw came up to her ear and scratched an itch there.

"Aris," Lexa tried to get her attention. The dragon shook her ears and looked at Lexa expectantly. "I can't go with you," She admitted. Aris rubbed her lips together. Lexa approached her and hugged her tightly. The animal sniffed and whined sounding doubtful.

"I need to go home, and you can't come with me," Lexa whimpered. She looked at Aris, "I'm sorry, girl," Aris felt Lexa's distress and sorrow. She nosed her arms, looking for affection.

"I want you to know that it's got nothing to do with you, you're such a good girl. Marcus will take good care of you," Aris didn't like what she was hearing. "I'm so sorry baby," Lexa cried, and Aris whined.

"I love you," Lexa whispered and hugged her tightly again.

She kept herself there for a few more minutes until Clarke came back and then told Aris, "May we meet again," Aris understood this was goodbye and she yipped anxiously. "I'm sorry,"

Aris cried angrily and followed Lexa, but the brunette turned around and hushed her. She lifted her hand up and told her to stay put. Quickly Clarke petted the dragon who shrieked at her. Clarke tried again and this it appeared to be calming the dragon down enough for Lexa to pet her one last time.

"You are such a good girl," Lexa reassured. "And I love you, and we will meet again someday, in a different life perhaps," Lexa continued, but Aris cried. Lexa sighed and turned on her heels.

"I'll be back soon okay?" Clarke told Lexa hoping to cut the goodbye short would take away some of their sufferings. Lexa nodded and before she could watch Clarke fly away she climbed back up and through the yellow mass meeting Caius.

"Back so soon?" He asked, but it didn't sound like a question, it was as if he had already known.

"How far do your visions go?" Lexa asked while she closed the hatch. Caius raised his eyebrows and lifted his shoulders slowly.

"That my child is up to the Spirit. You should know that better than anyone, even me," He told her and Lexa flushed because it felt like she had neglected that side for so long.

* * *

 

It didn't last more than 5 minutes before Clarke had reached the camp. She had flown up high and realized where she was soon enough. She realized she could make the journey back by foot, which offered her some comfort. She couldn't bear saying goodbye to Pol or Aris so close to the border. She was also nowhere near the Falls, which was also comforting as she would not have to deal with any of local interference on her way back.

When she landed, it was barely dawn. She wondered if anyone had even realized they had been gone all night.

By the time she reached her parents' tent, she had prepared herself to face anything they might throw at her. She knew her mother had probably ignored the conversation they had had so many years ago now. Now and then, when her father would look at her in a sad manner, she thought that is what he was remembering, that she would be leaving them one day.

She met one of their guards, who nodded at her before opening the flap to their tent. She stepped inside and dusted off her clothes.

"Mom?" She whispered in the dark and stepped forward. "Mom?" She said a bit louder this time waking her mother.

"Clarke? What is it?" She asked and then slapped Jake's bicep, "Wake up, Jake," She hissed as if already knowing why Clarke had entered their tent this early.

Clarke carefully sat down on their bed and waited for her father grogginess to pass. With one last yawn, he asked, "What is it, honey?"

Clarke looked down and closed her eyes before taken one more breath and saying, "It's time," Even though she only spoke two simple words it enticed a rash set of expressions on her parents' faces.

"I'm sorry," She whispered. Her father appeared to be lost for words, but where he lacked her mother made up for.

"Hang on! Wait." She sat up on the bed and grabbed Clarke's wrist. "Explain yourself. You can't just come in here and tell us you're leaving. Where are you going? How did you even find out?" Abby ranted, but there was an anxious tone to her voice. She was like a caged animal trying desperately to reach out.

"We passed the Falls, mom," With those words, Abby almost slapped her daughter.

"Are you crazy?" She hissed.

"She recognized them!" Clarke defended, "And-"

"And you love her, so you will just get yourself killed and be done with it. Unbelievable! I cannot believe I let that girl-"

"Abby," Jake intervened before Abby said something she did not mean and would certainly regret. "Go on, Clarke,"

"She found a way to go home, and I'd like to go with her," Clarke decided she wouldn't say anything about the city or the bonding ritual. That would've been too much for them.

"Where is it?"

"Beyond the Falls, it's a different world entirely. We're not supposed to cross it," Clarke said seriously because she didn't want her parents thinking they could. "We almost didn't make it, but then we managed," Clarke tried to explain, but she knew she was too vague.

"You can't cross it, okay?" She insisted. "Promise me you won't," She demanded and that's when Jake's demeanor turned to suspicion.

"Why?" Resonated in the crisp morning air.

"Because it's not safe for you. It's hard to explain." Clarke hung her head and hoped her parents would just abide by her wishes. "Please," She added, but no response came. Clarke expected her mother to tell her she was crazy, that she would be going nowhere, but all she found were two sad pairs of eyes.

"Okay, baby," Jake answered, but Abby remained quiet. Her cheeks were bright red as if she was holding in all her objections. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked away and nodded. It wasn't like Abby to remain quiet, which is what worried Clarke most. Her mother was acting out of character, and she was by consequence showing how traumatic this was for her.

"I'm so sorry mom," Clarke whispered and grasped her hand. "It won't be forever," She lied. "And I'll be safe, I promise." She vowed. In all truthfulness, Abby knew this day was coming the minute she had found out about the two girls' relationship. She had watched Lexa from the minute she had arrived at Arkadia and knew the girl was waiting to leave and find her home. It was probably why she was most reluctant to accept their relationship in the first place. The fact that Lexa broke a law or two was of no interest to her, that was Jake's problem. He always had his principles. It was the prospect to see her daughter broken hearted or to see her daughter leave that worried her, and rightly so as here she was saying goodbye to the person she never wanted to part ways with.

"How can I be sure if it's not me protecting you?" Abby voiced eventually and in return received a hug from Clarke.

"I love you, mom," Clarke exclaimed in a whisper. Abby quickly reciprocated the gesture as well as the words.

Abby also asked, "When do you leave?"

"Now," Clarke answered then looked at Jake whose face had fallen deeply into an anguished expression. He as well knew this day was coming and had accepted it a long time ago. It was why he had started training and accepting Marcus Kane as a possible future leader. What he saw in his daughter was a restlessness that could not be contained. He knew he would make her unhappy had he tried. This was the opportunity for Clarke to truly be happy, even if he could not see it. He had accepted that. What worried him most was how Abby would cope. He remembered their first conversation about it all too well, all those years ago.

_"She'll leave, you know that right?" Abby screamed at him as she paced around in their bedroom. They had caught Lexa sneaking out of Clarke's bedroom only a few hours before and had sat the two teenagers down._

_"Babe, she's seventeen-"_

_"That's not the point. This is Lexa, a kid who has had her bags packed from the first night she slept here. You know that!" Abby hissed._

_"What does that have to do with Clarke?"_

_"Really? Are you serious right now? You don't see Clarke sneaking off to get those damn islands on a map. Her temperament, her stubbornness- and did you not see the way she looked at this girl? I've never-" Abby roamed her hands through her hair. Clarke was in love, but she was seventeen. So what did she even know about love? There had to be a way to keep her._

_"Maybe it won't last." Jake offered weakly though he knew Clarke. The blonde never did anything half way._

_"Maybe," Abby whispered. "But what if it does?" Abby questioned sounding terrified. "And what if Lexa leaves? She'll go with her. She will-" Abby was breathing in shaky breaths as thick drops rolled out of her eyes and around her cheeks. "Jake-" She whimpered._

_"Okay, okay," He wrapped his arms around his wife, "That won't happen."_

_"You don't believe that," Abby told him stubbornly. Jake sighed and shook his head. No, he didn't, not really._

_"Maybe if we told her she couldn't see her?" Abby tried, but she saw Jake's expression. Yeah, that would definitely not work, and they would lose Clarke only quicker. "So what do we do then?"_

_"Hope it won't come to that," Jake admitted though he hadn't thought it over._

But it had, they had lasted, and it had come to that. It had been clear the minute Clarke had suggested their trip last year. There was nothing left to do but to offer their support so they could keep some sort of hope Clarke would come back someday. To hope that it wouldn't last long. To hope.

"We'll miss you," He revealed and hugged both Abby and Clarke close.

* * *

 

Before Clarke left, she visited the stables and had a long conversation with Pol. Pol wasn't a dragon to show many emotions, but that time, she did. She whined softly, and her ears drooped a little. Clarke expressed how sorry she was and hugged the dragon for so long. After that she made Pol and Aris promise that they would take care of each other and she promised they would meet again. Clarke couldn't imagine seeing any of this ever again and told herself she would come back at some point. She would find a way to travel back and forth. She would.

She said goodbye to her parents one final time and didn't dare to look back when she started making the journey back. What she would have seen had she looked back were two distraught figures, keeping their eyes on her until she completely disappeared in the rural landscape. The minute Clarke went Abby turned on her heels and started walking away quickly.

"Abby-" Jake called after her, but she held up her hand.

"Don't." She said almost accusingly as if it had been his fault that Clarke had left.

Clarke was grateful for the easy path to what had looked like an old tree grove that debouched into a half circle of oak trees, where the trees bent over and created a shelter with their branches. As she had flown to the camp, she had kept a good eye on how to get there by foot.

After a good hour, she reached it but had to look for the yellow colored mist. It appeared to materialize the closer she got to the trees. She realized it must've been accustomed to her. This was crazy. All the new information she had collected over the last 12 hours was barely being processed. Clarke was a practical person, a scientific person and there was nothing scientific about this, or perhaps not something she could understand just yet. Then again, she never did figure out how dragons managed to fly. Clarke sighed right before she attempted at entering the yellow mass and looked behind her one more time. She touched the bark of the crusty tree as if to imprint her world onto her so she wouldn't forget it. Lexa's world might be completely different. Who knew?

Then after a few minutes of trying to hold on to the distinct smell and touch of her surroundings, she finally entered the yellow mass and was propelled right under the hatch that would lead into the hall where she would find Caius and Lexa leaning over a large book.

When the latch hit the stones of the floor, Lexa looked down quickly and found Clarke's eyes. Her heart felt suddenly lighter now that Clarke had returned. Lexa had been afraid she wouldn't.

"Hey," She voiced, and Clarke smiled sadly. Lexa walked over and helped her up. When Clarke had her two feet on the ground, Lexa held onto her a little longer. Long enough to attain the comfort she wanted and short enough she wouldn't create an awkward circumstance.

"Are you okay?" She asked under her breath, and Clarke nodded.

"I was speaking to Caius, and the ceremony would be tonight at twilight officiated by him, are you okay with that?" Lexa asked and finally Clarke graced her with a smile. The thought of the ceremony gave her some solace in the sadness she felt.

"Yeah," She breathed sounding almost at ease, which enticed a similar feeling inside Lexa's chest.

A few hours later Caius and H were engaged in hushed conversation, meant to stay away from prying ears.

"Do you really think they are it?" H questioned for the fifth time that day.

"I do, and you should take my word for it." Caius scolded him yet again. H's ears burned bright red yet again.

"I really mean no disrespect, I just-" He stuttered.

"When a prophecy materializes it does not feel like it." Caius placed a hand on H's shoulder. H was quite young compared to Caius, and new to the order. He had climbed the ranks and attained a prestigious place but still had a lot to learn. He had a natural talent as a guardian and had earned his place, but he had not acquired the skill of sight. Caius, the oldest member of the order, and one of the first guardians of the border had perfected the skill, which is why his opinion was so highly regarded.

"Caius is right H," Quadra, who had turned the corner, voiced.

"I just didn't realize they would be this young either." H argued.

"The spirit works in mysterious ways and Alexandria is part Spirit. We should not underestimate her importance." Quadra insisted.

"I do not! It is-"

"Clarke," Caius interjected, finally voicing what H wanted to say. He didn't have an issue with Lexa crossing back to her world. He had a problem with Clarke following her, and bonding to Lexa. For by bonding with Lexa, Clarke would be bonding with the Spirit too. "You may not see it now, but there is a reason why we I support this union. She needs to go with Lexa,"

"Why?" H asked. He couldn't understand. She wasn't necessary to repair balance. If anything, she would only upset it, even with a union. The world in itself may keep their balance for now, but in the long run, her absence in Arkadia and her presence by Lexa's side would have its influence, which may not be favorable. On top of everything, her new bond to the Spirit within Lexa may upset their universe in a way that could not be restored.

"She's important," H agreed. "But to Arkadia not to-"

"Time will tell all," Caius replied, not being allowed to say more. The Spirit bound his word and kept him from disclosing too much. "Trust time," He stated and reminded H of a lesson he had been taught as a novice. He breathed in deeply and nodded.

"Yes, Master," He replied. "Surely though her bond to the spirit within Lexa is dangerous?"

"Perhaps, but the Spirit appears to be favorable of this bond," Caius replied, and H growled mentally. He did not have a connection with the Spirit as Caius did so he could do nothing but take his word for it. Caius was an old man. He was wise, but he was known to lose his mind from time to time.

H looked at Quadra, but she appeared to be agreeing with Caius, and he found himself in the minority. Only one other member of the order shared his doubts, and it was two against nine. He had to concede, especially because of his age and lack of wisdom.

"Very well," He conceded. He still did not agree but had no choice.

* * *

 

Lexa entered their room after having showered but couldn't spot Clarke. Then she spotted the open window, and as she was towel drying her hair she followed what she hoped to be Clarke onto a balcony? Lexa did not remember this room having one, and as she approached the window, it didn't reach the ground, yet it was open and large enough to climb through. She popped her head out of the window, and there she spotted Clarke below, sitting on a large looking crystal that had seemingly grown out of the building and created a tree-like thick branch. One leg swung lightly on the left side as the blonde appeared to be in deep thought.

Lexa reached down and brushed the side of Clarke's head, right behind her ear. The gesture startled Clarke a little and made the girl look up. She grinned when she watched Lexa look down upon her.

"You know that isn't the safest thing to do?" Lexa scolded playfully.

"It's pretty here," Clarke shrugged nonchalantly, and that's when Lexa finally looked up. The sunset created a strange landscape across the crystals who before looked blue and green, now looked golden and sparkled even more than before. There were also shades of red that reflected seemingly from the sky above, even though the sky in itself was barely visible.

Lexa pushed on Clarke's shoulder a little, indicating for her to shuffle forward so Lexa could join her.

"It is," She whispered as she dragged Clarke between her legs and kissed her neck chastely. She breathed in the blonde's smell, as well as the smell of the shampoo the blond had just used, and finally allowed her head to rest against the wall behind her.

"Last chance to back out," She voiced as she kept her eyes on shimmering crystals that sculpted the landscape. She followed the falling water all the way to the small creeks it sprouted out in. Clarke turned around with furrowed brows and shook her head. Even though there was some truth in Lexa's words, there was a small smirk dying to come out at the bottom of her lips. One that Clarke had noticed and in return the blonde shoved Lexa's shoulder lightly. 

"Don't even start," She scowled at her girlfriend and soon to be wife. Soon to be wife resonated in Clarke's mind and still seemed surreal. She didn't feel like a wife or like wife material. Perhaps one never did feel like it?

"I love you," Lexa murmured but didn't move her eyes from the landscape. She knew the smile she would create, though. And easily enough Clarke chuckled and dragged Lexa's eyes back to her by pulling on Lexa's chin.

"I love you too," Clarke said almost disapprovingly. It was as if something in Lexa's voice, whether that was the tone or what she had said had amused Clarke in one way or another. She kissed her quickly before snuggling into her and enjoying this oddly looking sunset, and that did not even have a sun that was setting. It only had a reflection of what would be a sunset. It was a mirror of a sunset fragmented in different crystals and water spots.

They watched the colors turning from golden red to amber, and back to blue and green. The minute the particular bright shimmers died, they knew it was almost time and Clarke's stomach knotted together unexpectedly. She was nervous, and her whole body tensed, which as expected Lexa noticed.

"It's going to be okay," Lexa whispered and kissed Clarke's neck. She knew they would come looking for them, so she helped Clarke up and climb through the window. Afterward, Clarke helped Lexa by pulling her through the window. Lexa's feet hadn't even dropped to the ground before a knock sounded on the door.

"Enter," Lexa stated regally as if she had been doing it all her life.

"It's time," A woman, neither Lexa nor Clarke had seen before. They knew what she meant, though, so they both nodded and followed her out to where H, Caius and what were most likely several other order members were waiting.

"Ready?" Caius asked warmly. Clarke looked at Lexa and nodded.

"Ready," Lexa answered for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah I know it's been ages. You'd think being jobless would make me want to write a lot but it basically makes me tired and depressed. Who knew rejection had that power lol. Anyways I hope you enjoy this still, this chapter wasn't easy to write and neither was the next one but I hope to have it updated by next week!
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments! They mean the world to me. 
> 
> See you next time folks!


	11. Blessed it be

They started following Caius down the hall before Lexa halted in her tracks. Clarke looked at her questioningly, a nervous shimmer swimming in her eyes.

"Lex?" She echoed and came to a complete halt as well. Lexa blinked a few times because she couldn't recall when she had told Clarke of her role as the commander, as part spirit. She couldn't pinpoint it, but it felt as if Clarke knew. She racked her brain and came up with nothing.

"Are you okay? Are you having second thoughts?" Lexa heard Clarke fuss, but she shook her head to relief the tension she heard in Clarke's voice.

"No, of course not," Lexa smiled and looked over Clarke's shoulder just in time to spot what looked like a procession of members exiting the hallway they were standing in. She redirected her gaze at Clarke and cleared her voice, "I just- I want to make sure you know what you're getting into because with soul bonding- well my mind goes to my own soul and how it's-" Lexa sighed and swallowed her words.

"Half spirit?" Clarke voiced, finishing Lexa's sentence.

"When did I tell you that?" Lexa looked up and watched Clarke shrug.

"You didn't," Clarke replied. Lexa felt her eyelids push back as her eyes swelled with shock.

"Well-" Lexa breathed out and stuttered, "How?" Lexa questioned.

"How do I know you're part spirit and a figure of authority in your world?" Clarke echoed and astonished Lexa even more. _Wait, what? How is she doing that?_ Lexa watched Clarke chuckle. "Baby, you told me a lot of things in the past." Clarke pointed out and then explained further.

"You told me about the spirit of light and how it is attached to the commander in your world, how that makes the commander half spirit. Then you told me you were a night something-"

"A nightblida," Lexa interjected and in return received an agreeing nod from Clarke.

"Yes, which means someone can lead. Then we got here, and they told you about your people and called you something specific that I've also forgotten-"

"Heda,"

"Yes, that and it was very much implied that you were the main figure of authority for your people since your world fell into chaos after your disappearance. So, I connected the dots. It looked like you knew that I knew,"

"I know," Lexa frowned. That was how it felt. "I'm sorry, I should've told you and not let you connect the dots on your own as you say," Lexa swallowed but watched Clarke cock her head to the side. Her girlfriend approached her with a bright smile and cupped her cheeks so she could place a chaste kiss on Lexa's lips.

"These last few days have been so emotional for us. I don't blame you, but if you're worried that I don't know what I'm getting into, then don't be. I know exactly what I'm up for." Clarke declared.

"You'd be binding your soul to half a spirit. That is if _the Spirit of life_  accepts our bond," Lexa muttered and felt a tight squeeze around her hand.

"I know. Now are you _really_ ready?" Clarke asked, and her playful tone tugged the corners of Lexa's lips into a smile.

"Yes, sorry," Lexa giggled, and they scurried down the hall where the group had come to a halt as well. Before either could explain what had happened or even ask if they could continue, the group started walking again.

Soon after, they entered a space below the main hall. It was a small room covered with fabrics. Then Caius and the other men left. Lexa wanted to question why. Wouldn't they be concluding the ceremony? Why were only women present? Then she squinted her eyes and spotted some men in women's clothes, which was a little puzzling but eventually rolled off her back as she directed her attention to Clarke who appeared to be enamored by the various fabrics sparkling in the low light of the burning candles.

"You must choose your clothes and a shawl for the ritual," The woman dressed in red announced. Clarke quirked an eyebrow.

"Wow, this is really traditional," She commented and grinned at Lexa. "This is so beautiful," Clarke bit her lip and stretched out her hand for Lexa to take hold of, which Lexa greedily took.

"It is," Lexa echoed.

"I don't know which one to take," Clarke said gazing over all the clothes and more so over the thin shawls. They were almost see-through but were embroidered with intrinsic designs, and the edges were decorated with golden shimmers.

"I think I like this one," Lexa voiced while picking up a red one, one that reminded of her sash which she had only worn a few times. She wanted to honor it.

"It goes with your eyes," Clarke commented and her gaze lingered on Lexa's eyes in which small specks of different colors swam. Even red.

"Well, most things do," Lexa chuckled teasingly.

"Ugh, why am I marrying you again?" Clarke joked and quickly felt Lexa's arm around her waist, which was squeezing her tightly.

"Because you love me," Lexa replied with a sweet kiss placed in the crook of her neck. She could swear she felt Clarke shivering beneath her.

"Oh yeah," Clarke croaked and then spotted a dark blue shawl, with an outfit to match and had her mind made up. "That one," She whispered and looked behind her to see a love struck looking Lexa as Clarke wrapped it around her.

"Yes, that one," Lexa smiled.

After that, they were ushered into another room, full of mirrors, this time very young looking boys delicately put black lines under their eyes and reddened their lips. In fact, what they were doing was intensifying their features.

Finally, they reached what looked like the final room, now dressed and made up to look beautiful. A dish caught water that ran down from the blue crystals they had seen the whole time they were there. A few feet from it was pit made of gray bricks. That was when Caius showed up.

"Greetings," He said warmly then presented both Lexa and Clarke with flower necklaces. "May they protect you from evil," He whispered.

"Blessed is the day to unite. It is from love we first learn, and it is from love we bond." Caius started and beckoned both girls to sit by the pit.

"First, a union of the flesh is required, so that you may be connected in this life until you pass to the next," He claimed. This was what Clarke knew. They practiced these unions in Arkadia. She even knew the ritual, albeit it being timeworn, and uncommonly practiced.

Caius grasped each shawl, wrapped it loosely around each hand before wounding them together and placing a tight knot at the base. Their hands were slightly overlapping and creating what looked like a bowl as a result of the intrinsic encircling.

"With this, I bond you together and to the elements,"

"Earth, the first element, the flesh of which we came from, and that grow," He said as he placed dried mud combined with leaves. "Water, the second element, the blood of the earth which enriches our flesh and keeps it alive," He stated while pouring some of the water, that had been collected in the dish, onto the pile of earth making it musky and allowing its smell to encase the room. "Air, the third element, the breath that gives us life," He said and blew into the pile of dirt. Then he asked, "Will you give your breath?"

Clarke smiled and approached their enwrapped hands simultaneously with Lexa and both blew gently on the earth gathered in their palms. Clarke was tempted to steal a kiss, with Lexa's lips so close, but settled for a lingering smile.

"Fire, the fourth element, the sword of life and death. Only out of death, new life may grow." He smiled and then asked, "Will you release your flesh to the fire?" He meant the mud in their hands. Both threw it in the fire pit, watched it dry, and eventually blacken.

Then he presented each with a necklace, on which a green stone was enwrapped with golden engravings. They were identical.

"Repeat after me," He said looking at Lexa. Lexa straightened her back but her anticipation and perhaps excitement cracked through when she fiddled with the necklace. Lexa licked her lips while impatience reflected in her gaze.

"With this necklace, I bind my flesh to yours," Caius spoke.

"With this necklace, I bind my flesh to yours," Lexa repeated and wrapped her arms around Clarke's neck.

"With these three knots I vow to protect our bond," Caius spoke.

"With these three knots I vow to protect our bond," Lexa repeated once more and tied the necklace with three ties. Clarke knew this part very well and had witnessed it several times during wedding ceremonies. She could feel Lexa's breath on her lips, and became lost in those green pools that remained focused on her.

"With this kiss, I seal my fate," Caius spoke.

"With this kiss, I seal my fate," Lexa whispered and kissed Clarke. It was short, but Spirits did it feel passionate. Lexa reluctantly leaned back. The only upside was knowing Clarke would soon be repeating the same thing.

And indeed Clarke executed the same thing and tied the necklace around Lexa's neck, with three knots and then kissed her.

"Your lives are connected in this life until you pass to the next one," Caius finished the bond of flesh.

"To connect your souls, you need to take heed of the following warning. The bond of souls is a connection between souls beyond the vessel of flesh." Caius started.

"It is non-reversible and can be a dangerous ritual if the Spirit is disfavorable of the bond. Were the Spirit to reject your request, your relationship but also your lives would suffer the consequences. Most relationships do not survive such a rejection, not to mention the danger of evil Spirits lurking during such a blessing. Without the Spirit to protect you with a blessing, you will be at risk. Before asking the Spirit for such a blessing, you have to reflect and ask yourself if it's worth it." He preached because it was customary. Clarke and Lexa had agreed to do this, regardless of the consequences. 

"The bond of souls must be given to us, whereas we have taken the bond of flesh," Lexa spoke gently. She nodded and looked at Clarke one last time, just in case the blonde had changed her mind, but Clarke shook her head playfully. Of course, she was going through this.

"We're sure," Clarke insisted, and Caius gave her a curt nod.

* * *

 

Caius had asked them to place their hands in the dish filled with what had been described as holy water.

"Spirit of life we call you to bless this union." Caius chanted from his book, then chanted incomprehensible words while sprinkling the water around them. He blew out what looked like a candle with a strange smell and let the wax drip on their arms, then in the water and eventually on the floor. Clarke gulped. Though she was sure she wanted this, she had never truly believed in the spiritual realm, and the faith in Lexa's eyes made her nervous. What if an actual spirit showed up? Not to mention Caius warning about evil spirits. What if she was putting Lexa at risk? Her heart was beating loudly, all the way into her ears. She shivered slightly and closed her eyes but opened them quickly when she felt someone grab her hand.

It was Lexa with a reassuring gaze. Clarke wasn't sure if that was allowed, but she was grateful for Lexa's support. She mirrored the smile Lexa had given her and felt her nerves evaporate with the small peak of temperature of the water.

Clarke frowned when she felt the water warming even more and then looked at Lexa who kept an amused smile on her lips. Caius was still chanting away and was now burning a particular kind of leaf that Clarke did not know.

Then her breath caught in her throat as she felt a tingling presence rush through her body. Her eyes fluttered at the feeling, and she desperately searched for Lexa's eyes. Lexa clenched her jaw as if she was experiencing something too and it was then that Clarke had noticed Caius had stopped chanting and was now standing beside them with his eyes closed.

She breathed out and felt a shiver run up her spine, though the water had increased its warmth even more. It was strange to feel such a mixture of temperatures swirl around her body as if she was taking a bath and had changed her mind mid through about how warm she had wanted it, and now the cold water was streaming around her feet while her body was warm, too warm.

When she looked at Lexa, who had seemingly relaxed, she noticed her hair blowing lightly in the wind, but there had been no way to create a breeze in this room. It was completely locked off. That's when Clarke joined Lexa's faith for Spirits. Something _was_ happening, something Clarke couldn't explain, and finally she understood what Lexa had meant by feeling the presence of the spirits around her. Then again, Lexa was half spirit, the Spirit of light to be specific so it couldn't be that hard for her, right?

If that weren't enough, the pain in her hand would have told her about the presence. At first, Clarke thought it was a low-level evil spirit trying to interrupt the ritual, bit it wasn't. It stung her skin and pulled tears from her eyes. She wanted to pull out of the water and hold her hand close, to comfort it, but Lexa clung onto her hands and shook her head.

"It's okay," Lexa whispered. "That's supposed to happen," She had spoken out of term, but she didn't care. She watched Clarke distress and the urge to reassure her was stronger than the urge to respect the ritual. Clarke watched Lexa flex her bicep and could see her throbbing heartbeat push against the skin of her neck, which told her that Lexa was in a similar kind of pain.

"Thank you, for your presence," Caius bowed and by it told Clarke that the Spirit of life was here. She looked around but saw nothing. Even though she was frustrated, she mimicked Lexa, who had closed her eyes and tried to feel a presence as Lexa had told her to do a long time ago.

All Clarke felt was that same strange mixture of temperatures, perhaps that is what it was. She couldn't help but think ' _That's it?'_ Not that it wasn't pleasant, but she had expected something more dramatic. She had expected a grand entrance, and a large beam of light or something.

"Spirit, we ask you for your blessing to unite these two souls," Caius bellowed. Clarke almost expected a verbal response, but instead, she received a physical one.

The stinging feeling on the flesh of her hand she had experienced before had come back, this time more specifically as if a hot knife was slicing open her skin.

Clarke hissed loudly and watched a pattern appear on her hand but also on Lexa's. Lexa smiled through her pain, which indicated that something good was happening. Clarke cursed herself for her lack of knowledge in this. The water by now had started reflecting more light than before, and she had to squint her eyes to keep her gaze locked.

When the pain dissipated, Clarke felt light and safe. It was a strange feeling because the sweaty shivers hadn't left her body.

"Blessed it be," Caius stated and bowed again.

"Blessed it be," Lexa echoed and squeezed Clarke's hand to tell her to say it as well.

"Blessed it be," Clarke croaked and then looked down at her hands on which identical tattoos had appeared. It had different shades of black coloring geometrical shapes that ran from the back of her hand to her middle finger, index and thumb.

"Hallowed is the day on which the Spirit of life unifies two souls, especially such specials souls as the two before me." Caius smiled fondly.

"Please, stand," Caius demanded and, hand in hand, both Lexa and Clarke rose to their feet. Clarke was still trying to process the ritual. It seemed to have lasted for hours when she was quite sure it hadn't lasted that long. Caius pressed his thumb against her forehead and closed his eyes to whisper incomprehensible words. Then he mirrored the action with his other thumb on Lexa's forehead.

"Congratulations," He said eventually and out of the corners of the room a wave of claps came from a group of women, children and order members. The two could hear music and Clarke laughed.

"Are we-?"

"Yes, can't you feel it?" Lexa teased as she whispered in her ear and when Clarke reflected she realized that the specific feeling of lightness hadn't left her. Clarke giggled, and they were dragged to a small dining hall where celebratory music was played, people sang and danced.

* * *

 

The celebrations had been going on for about an hour until Clarke pulled on Lexa's arm to drag the girl closer to her. She had had enough of people congratulating them and keeping them busy when all she wanted to do was push Lexa against the wall and... well you can imagine.

Clarke kissed her passionately and growled "I've been dying to do that," She felt her _wife-_ God was that strange to say- smile against her lips but gently push her away.

"I know, me too, but we'll almost be alone. It's not like we can cross the pass now," Lexa thought out loud. "It's still night, and I think we deserve to sleep in a nice bed together before we start our journey."

"Yes, I'd love that, but how do we get away?" Clarke teased and looked at the people around them. "They look so happy," Clarke murmured after her joking tone had diminished. Lexa's hand curled tightly against Clarke's waist to turn the girl into her chest, to push Clarke's face into the crook of her neck as if Lexa wanted to cradle her.

"It's because they are celebrating our happiness, my love," Lexa whispered in Clarke's ear and tickled the skin there. The shiver ran from her ear to her heart and created flutters that erupted in her chest cavity.

"Yeah," Clarke breathed and leaned her head against Lexa's shoulder.

It was only another hour before the citizens of the Blue city offered them one last rest and perhaps a bathing in the morning before they would cross the Pass.

Lexa looked at Clarke when they closed the door behind them and left them alone, for them to enjoy each other's company without the threat of danger looming in the background.

Clarke smiled when she sat on the bed and observed Lexa taking off her clothes, seemingly getting ready for bed.

When Lexa whipped her head around right as she was unbinding her breasts, she halted her movements and noticed Clarke observing her.

"You're not getting out of those clothes?" Lexa asked.

"I'd rather watch you," Clarke flirted which caused Lexa to chuckle. The girl walked over to her wife and got down on her knees right before she let out a long breath and rested her head on Clarke's lap.

Clarke quickly ran her fingers through Lexa's curls and could hear the breathing even out while two strong arms circled Clarke's waist and allowed Lexa hide her face more into Clarke's garments.

"You're tired aren't you?" Clarke asked. It had been a long day, and she knew Lexa was also exhausted from the stress and pressure she was putting on herself. Clarke watched a smile tug at the corners of Lexa's lips.

"Yeah," Lexa admitted and looked up. "Not too tired to celebrate, though," Lexa winked and in return Clarke threw her a knowing smirk.

"Is that so?" Clarke breathed.

"Uhuh," Lexa murmured, but her actions said something else. Lexa snuggled deeper into Clarke's curves and worshiped the feeling she was experiencing by doing so. "I feel-" Lexa wasn't sure, but it felt different, which she was happy wasn't a tale they told younger generations to ignite hope surrounding the bond by soul, or by flesh for that matter.

"I don't know," Lexa echoed and raised her head. She bit the inside of her cheek and then asked, "Do you remember the first time we ever talked?"

Clarke snorted, "Yes, you accused me of cheating," Clarke pointed out and watched Lexa's lips grow into a fully formed pout.

"Well, it looked like that," Lexa muttered while casting her eyes down.

"You're just a sore loser," Clarke whispered knowing it had been the first time anyone had beaten Lexa during a race and the brunette did not take losing well. She never had. Even when they would play chess, she would pout and sulk when she would lose. Good thing Clarke knew the perfect remedy for that.

"Am not!" Lexa argued but then huffed, "Yes, fine but what I mean is...well-"

"What _do_ you mean?" Clarke teased, and Lexa groaned.

"I- don't make fun of me okay?" Lexa pleaded and looked down. She huffed and puffed, and her cheeks burned brightly red.

"Why? Are you about to say something cheesy?" Clarke asked and lifted Lexa's jaw by tucking her index finger under her chin. Clarke closed some distance between them, which allowed Lexa to feel Clarke's breath on her lips.

"You love cheese," Lexa retorted with slotted eyes and suddenly did not feel as worked up as she had been.

"I love _you_ ," Clarke stated plainly and pushed their lips together briefly. Lexa simpered shyly and continued her thread of thought.

"When we first talked there was this thing I felt- it was odd, and if I'm honest, it kept me awake more nights than I had liked to admit at the time, and then it disappeared. It felt like suspicion but not in a bad way. As if I already knew you," Lexa thought aloud. "And it's here again, only stronger. I've known you well for years now, but now it feels as if I know you better somehow." Lexa ranted but could not make sense of her own words.

"Connected," Clarke murmured and searched for Lexa's eyes.

"Yeah," Lexa whispered and bobbed her eyebrows, "Makes sense," Lexa chuckled and leaned in to brush their lips together once more. Clarke smiled against the plump lips. She dragged Lexa closer and closer until she craved more. Clarke pulled her up more so Lexa would straddle her and raked her fingers across the skin of Lexa's ass cheeks, earning a moan from the girl.

"I want you," Clarke whispered.

"You have me, always," Lexa replied. She cupped Clarke's neck and passionately pressed their lips together. She ran her tongue across Clarke's teeth, probing and savoring the taste of Clarke's mouth. She moaned tightly when Clarke ground their fronts together.

"Off now," Clarke ordered and yanked at Lexa's bindings. Once freed, Clarke hungrily nipped at Lexa's nipples.

"Clarke," Lexa whispered full of pleasure and arched her back to increase the pressure between their centers. With the arch, Clarke took advantage of taking off Lexa's underwear. Her skin was on fire. She only felt more gratification the closer they became. She anticipated what it would feel like to 'unite' with Lexa tonight in this bed after their bonding. The more their flesh pressed together, the more Clarke felt a sense of home like never before. As if Lexa was a drug, she was taking a larger dose of for the first time.

* * *

 

The next morning, uncommonly, Clarke woke up before Lexa. The shade of the room told Clarke it was not yet dawn and she had probably woken too soon. She looked at the girl who was now her wife with her curls spread across the pillow and her face pressed into the creases. Clarke took advantage of Lexa's exposed back to trace the large tattoo that ran across it. She then traced Lexa's hand and looked at her own. She hadn't really examined it with all the commotion going on during the celebration and then was too preoccupied last night with well- Clarke smiled. Physically nothing had really changed, but emotionally she felt whole. She didn't know whether everyone felt like that when they underwent a bonding ceremony, of flesh that was. She only knew people, like her parents that had undergone that one. The effects of a bonding of souls were unknown to her.

Her mother had once told her. She had felt a great sense of belonging after she had married Jake. Clarke imagined that's what she was feeling and more.

She ran across the delicate geometrical designs that ran from the back of her hand to her middle finger, index, and thumb, designs that went with the shapes on Lexa's back, and had not noticed Lexa waking up.

"Do you like it?" Lexa asked with a hoarse voice and interrupted Clarke mid-trace. Clarke smiled brightly and moved her fingers to Lexa's cheek.

"I do." Clarke murmured and continued watching the intrinsic lines. Clarke furrowed her brows and thought aloud "I don't understand how that happened, though, it's not even scarred right now. It's as the tattoo was placed a while ago,"

"The one on my back appeared that way as well when I concluded my conclave and officially received the flame," Lexa explained.

"Can you tell me more about it?" Clarke asked, but when she watched Lexa's face fall she quickly retracted that question and stated, "Or not. Someday?"

Lexa carved a heavy smile on her face and agreed, "Yeah, someday soon, I promise, but for now, can we just enjoy this last morning of bliss before everything changes?" Lexa asked.

"Yes," Clarke breathed and captured Lexa's lips. Clarke didn't push it. Further, she felt Lexa crawl closer to her and rest her head in the crook of Clarke's neck. They had tired each other out the night before. Clarke regretted nothing. Last night had been amazing, she had never felt such a sense of homecoming, but they needed some rest and resting in each other's arms was the best way to do that.

Clarke raked through Lexa's hair gently and allowed their breathing to synchronize. She eventually dozed off until someone knocked on their door, waking them both up.

Clarke groggily looked at the painting the room orange. It was obviously late morning, and they would be leaving soon, even though they had never specified when. She just knew it would be throughout the day. She was expecting them to tell them they had to leave at dawn but she suspected they had wanted to give the couple some last moments of joy before undertaking the task of passing worlds.

"Enter," Lexa commanded regally albeit with sleep tainting her voice. Lexa even yawned calmly as a woman entered.

"Good morning," She bowed her head and then continued, "You should be leaving by noon to catch the ship of the Pass," She revealed and confused both of them.

"It will take you to the other side," She explained with a smile. "It is ten now, so you have a few hours to gather your things and prepare," She told them and after that she turned on her heels and exited their room, disallowing them to ask any questions.

"A ship?" Clarke muttered and caught Lexa's attention.

"Indeed," Lexa echoed and then kissed Clarke's shoulder, right where her shirt hung loosely and revealed bare skin.

* * *

 

"This water is amazing," Clarke breathed when she entered the large bath they had prepared for them. Clarke closed her eyes and heard Lexa enter the bath, more like pool considering the size, as well.

"It is pleasant," Lexa murmured and sounded absent minded. Clarke opened her eyes and found Lexa's shape easily. The sun ignited the pigment in Lexa's skin, and gave it a copper color where the shade hit, while a warm yellow glow shined in contrast to it.

Clarke moved to Lexa, creating a sloshing sound as she moved, and wrapped her arms around the Lexa's naked form. She kissed the skin on Lexa's shoulder and savored the smell. Clarke became greedy in her administrations and started nipping at Lexa's neck, and with it, she felt Lexa lean into to her, her back into Clarke's front.

Lexa leaned further into Clarke and allowed the blonde's hands to wander. She sighed contently when Clarke's fingers found Lexa's nipple and brushed over it while Clarke's assault on her neck continued. Clarke bit her earlobe and Lexa found herself weakly protesting.

"We really shouldn't tire ourselves any more than we already have," Lexa spoke but was hardly convincing, but there was truth in what she had said. They had made love throughout the night and had tired each other out. Not only that but they had less than two hours to prepare their journey. Lexa had to make their packs and roam through the armory.

 She felt Clarke halt and rest her lips against the skin.

"Do you want me to stop?" Clarke asked as she tucked her chin on top of Lexa's shoulder. Lexa's eyes fluttered and shook her head.

Lexa turned around and captured Clarke's lips, gently grazing her tongue against the girl's opening and felt sharp teeth graze it.

"I love you," Lexa whined against Clarke's lips and gave up all reluctance if there was even any to begin with. She had no self-control when it came to Clarke. Something she knew she would have to work on if she wanted to execute her role as commander appropriately. She could already hear Titus' dismay at the revelation that she had been bonded, by soul no less.

"Get out of that pretty head of yours," Clarke breathed, and Lexa fluttered her eyes open. She gave Clarke a guilt-ridden expression but quickly had it wiped away when the blonde held her tightly.

"Sorry," Lexa whispered against Clarke's wet shoulder. "I just keep thinking of what's to come," Lexa admitted and rested her cheek against Clarke. "What if I'm not-" Lexa sighed. She had to stop herself from doing this. It had been so long since she had masked her feelings since she had felt the burden of her responsibilities. She already felt like a failure.

"Hey," Clarke murmured and continued, "Look at me," Clarke cupped Lexa's neck and pecked her lips. "Whatever happens, do not forget who you are," Clarke told her.

"I won't be the same person there, Clarke," Lexa reminded her.

"You'll always be you," Clarke argued and caused Lexa to bit the inside of her cheek.

Before their conversation could continue, the door creaked, and two people entered. Clarke widened her eyes, not used to exposing her nudity, and hid behind Lexa.  

"These are warm clothes, which we offer you," They explained and headed out the next minute. Lexa felt Clarke's long breath against her shoulder. She looked behind her and gave Clarke a sad smile.

"We should get out," Lexa told her, and Clarke nodded.

* * *

 

Exactly at noon both of them stood at the quay waiting for this ship to arrive and when it did both of them glanced at each other, thinking the same thing. This was hardly a ship, or at least what they would have called a ship. This was a large boat, the kind they used to travel from isle to isle, which made sense given the nature of this crossing.

Lexa had made their packs, hopefully not too heavy, with supplies similar to those they had brought when they flew for two weeks, exploring uncharted waters. They had one small cooking pot for food, with some onions as well as potatoes. They would hunt for meat, as Lexa remembered the boat clan's green woods and waters being thoroughly enriched by an abundance of animals and fish. It was what the boat clan, as well as Treekru, managed to trade with northern tribes.

It was supposed to last them about four days after that Lexa hoped they would be able to find a village where they could trade some of their valuables for a horse or two, so they could travel to Polis. The thought of Polis ignited nerves in Lexa's stomach because she was worried about, firstly the state of affairs, and secondly seeing people she had not seen in years and facing their possible scorn or skepticism.

The boat threw their gangplank ashore. Lexa gulped and stepped on top of it. She looked behind to make sure Clarke was following. Soon after, the boat started moving, and Lexa noticed one old man sitting at the front steering the boat.

They passed the blue crystals they had gotten used to and then entered a territory where the crystals started disappearing. It was green, but it looked lifeless. The only thing there was moss and Lexa watched what was once a creek, turn into a larger river, with a current.

Clarke entwined their fingers and squeezed tightly.

"Here we go," Clarke breathed.

 

END OF VOLUME I 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you see, I've stated this is the end of Volume I. This story is divided into two parts because those two parts have a big time jump between them, but it is divided into 3 volumes, the last volume making up the second part. Does that make sense? I hope it does.  
> Starting next chapter and next volume, I will start incorporating trigedasleng. Of course, it's going to be quite hard to write everything in trigedasleng since in my story the people there don't speak English, so I'll just do it in Italic. For now, I will do all trigedasleng in italic for as long as Clarke does not understand it. Once Clarke understands everything I'll just write it normally. It's going to be a pickle, but I hope I'll make it clear with how I write it :/
> 
> If anyone has questions feel free to ask :)
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments!  
> See you next time folks!


	12. Shelter Trees

Lexa wasn't sure when they had dosed off and even how, but they had, and now she had woken. The last thing she remembered was Clarke grasping her hand and the crystals turning green and fresh. Lexa looked around, and the boat had been abandoned. The steersman that had guided the boat, had disappeared. Her heart jumped in her throat as she could not spot Clarke immediately in her groggy state. She also realized she was lying down on the deck. She rolled over and thankfully spotted her wife, vastly asleep.

Lexa sighed a long breath of relief and brushed the hair out of her lover's face. The gesture, gentle and loving, had woken her new bride and caused those beautiful blue eyes to open.

"Hey," Lexa smiled and then looked up to inspect her surroundings. The sun was high and looked like it was noon, but they had left at noon, and they had just woken up. Had they slept for a day? Not that it mattered now.

"Hey," Lexa heard Clarke whisper. She watched Clarke wake up with a single yawn and quick rub of the eyes. The blonde looked around with a confused expression. "Did we fall asleep?" She asked the same question Lexa had asked herself when she had woken up only a few minutes before Clarke.

"I'm not sure," Lexa murmured. She stood up and helped Clarke. When Clarke rose to her feet, however, a blue crystal fell out of her pocket, one she had not placed there. Clarke's brows dived into a deeply formed crease as she picked it up to examine it.

"It's a crystal, with our tattoo carved on it," Clarke thought aloud. Lexa's eyes fluttered while her brain tried to understand what it could mean

"Best to keep it safe," Lexa told Clarke. Lexa looked behind her and was faced with a solid wall of rocks. The front of the boat, however, pointed in the direction of the river path, leaving the rocks behind them, which implied that they had sailed from the direction the rocks were now blocking.

"But that's impossible," Lexa muttered quietly enough, Clarke hadn't heard her. Lexa shook her head a little to clear her mind. She wanted to make way to the nearest village before sunset or at least find some kind of shelter. They had brought things to trade. First, she needed to establish where they were, at least in the sense of direction. Going from the greenery they were nowhere near Azgeda territory, which was an immense relief. The number of riverbeds also implied they were somewhere in the Boatlands, the Treelands, or the Glowing forest. She hoped for the prior, given that was closest to Polis. She was thankful they hadn't landed in a particularly hostile territory. The Boatclan and the people of the Glowing Forest were known for their peaceful and conflictless attitude. They did not agree with the most common mantra across the lands, which was: blood must have blood.

Lexa looked at Clarke and then reminded herself she needed a night of providing Clarke with a lot more information than she had given the girl. She knew Clarke would be okay. Clarke hadn't exactly grown up in a peaceful environment, and blood must have blood would not appear so foreign to her, but Lexa needed to explain everything, in better detail, a conversation she was not exactly looking forward to.

A small spark full of nerves was ignited between her ribs when she thought of the possibility of this being the Treelands. Treekru were not exactly peaceful, they were not cruel nor did they seek power, but they did hold grudges, and there were many grudges to be held and to go around, now probably more than when she became the commander. Even though Lexa was a born Treekru, she was afraid that they would not believe she was a native, given she had been gone for six years.  

"Come on," Lexa said as she picked up her pack and helped Clarke with hers. "I want to climb one of these trees," Lexa commented. She needed to find an exceptionally tall one if she wanted to find out for sure where she was. She could narrow it down, whether or not they were in the Treelands. If they were not there, she would have to wait for nightfall, to see if the forest would glow as it did, or so she had been told, in the Glowing forest. She had after all never been. At the time of her ascension, she had been scheduled to visit all the clans and speak of a possible ceasefire between them, but then the ship sank and... well the rest is history.

She had visited some as a Nightblood, but the Glowing forest was very far away, which was the same reason why she had never been to the Plain Riders Lands.

Lexa shook her head and told herself to pay attention. She needed to find a suitable tree so she could position themselves and at least come to some sort of plan. With all this commotion in her head, Lexa had not noticed Clarke's enamored expression as they walked through the trees.

"They're so large," Clarke marveled with a sweet whisper. Clarke looked beneath her feet and noticed the same brown colored moss one found in Arkadia, beneath her feet. The smell was reminiscent of Eagle Bay; perhaps rain had the same smell everywhere. This forest was vast and full of water, but the tree trunks were so large an entire dragon could fit inside.

Lexa's eyes shifted to Clarke and simpered. She watched the sun sparkle her hair brightly, a sparkle that matched her smile. In the midst of her calculations she had forgotten this was the first time Clarke had seen lands such as these, and for a moment Lexa allowed herself to look around too, and truly take it in, to breathe in the air, and to let her heart to soar. She was home.

She swiftly masked her face, so the emotion would not brim over and reveal her heart. Even though it was just Clarke, Lexa had to learn to mask her face again, even around those she loved. It was part of being the commander, just the way Titus had taught her and she had to train herself again if she were to be a commander everyone needed and deserved.

Clarke chuckled, seeing right through that mask.

"Happy to be home?" Clarke asked and wrapped her hand around Lexa's. Lexa closed her eyes and allowed herself to bask in the feeling of Clarke's skin on hers. She smiled and turned her face to her wife.

"Yeah," Lexa said shyly as if she did not want to show her happiness too much. After all, Clarke had just left her home and everyone in it, for a long time, if not for forever.

"I'm apprehensive too," Lexa admitted and felt Clarke's hand squeeze her own.

"It's not an easy hand you've been dealt, but if anyone can handle it, it's you," Clarke exclaimed. Lexa then halted in front of a lanky tree. Its end peaked over the other trees, and its trunk would easily shelter a family of four. It reminded Lexa of the tales she had been told as a child of the glowing Forest and its houses that were made inside of and between trees. Trees as large as houses, which caused her to suspect that perhaps they were in Glowing Forest, but surely the trunks would be larger unless the stories had been exaggerated.

Lexa untangled herself and told Clarke to wait there. She quickly climbed it, not having lost her native born talent for climbing trees. Clarke had often caught her snoozing in the tree that stood in front of their house back home, and had commented that there was no tree Lexa could not climb and find comfort in.

She climbed as far as was safe so that she could look around, and spot where they were. They were definitely not in the Treelands, the trees here albeit vastly standing next to one another did not compete with the vastness of the Treelands. The trees were also too large to be considered part of the Treelands. It looked like the Boatlands, which was a relief. To be sure, she would have to wait for nightfall and see whether the forest would glow. She suspected, though, that it would not.

"What's the verdict?" Clarke questioned when Lexa climbed down and jumped the last bit. The ground cracked as a result of Lexa's weight landing down as she reached the ground.

"I want to wait until nightfall, but I think we're in the Boatlands," Lexa informed her.

"And that's good?" Clarke asked, and Lexa chuckled.

"Yes, quite close to the capital, only a few days riding," Lexa explained. When Clarke's hand eagerly wrapped around Lexa's hand again, the brunette halted because a fear had penetrated her body, one she had been trying to ignore. If anyone recognized her, Clarke would be their first target if they wanted to manipulate Lexa.

"What's wrong?" Clarke asked with worry sticking to the syllables she spoke. Lexa sighed deeply.

"When we're around other people, I don't think we should reveal what we are to each other immediately," Lexa suggested, and Clarke took a confused step back.

"What? Why?" Clarke sounded angry.

"Because, I'm afraid they'll use you against me," Lexa explained and this appeared to temper Clarke's outburst. Her face softened, and she cupped Lexa's cheek.

"Babe, that's going to happen no matter-"

"I'd like to avoid it, just with people I don't trust." Lexa insisted. "Please," She begged, and Clarke sighed.

"So does that mean being completely platonic when we're alone, out in the open, too? Since we can't know if someone's watching us?" Clarke inquired, and by Lexa's regretful expression, her question had been answered. "Alright," Clarke huffed and retracted her hand, which caused Lexa's soul to whine, but it was a necessary sacrifice. Just until they reached Polis, and Lexa was sure she had people around she could trust, and she could at least protect Clarke better.

"I promise, once we're in a secured closed off area, or in Polis, everything will go back to normal. I just need time to make sure our relationship can't be used as a weakness, you know?" Lexa murmured. Clarke gave her a mournful nod. She understood, she had gone through the same predicament with her parents, especially when she was younger. She had even almost been kidnapped once as a way to blackmail her parents into surrendering. Thankfully, Kane had been there to prevent the attack. So, Clarke knew what Lexa was going through, she herself would have gone through it, had she accepted her lineage.

"Yeah, I do. You need to be in a position where your wife won't be threatened because of who you are. I just need you to know that I always will be," Clarke pointed out. "It doesn't really matter."

"I know," Lexa agreed. "It's just for now. I also don't know how people will react..." Lexa admitted. "A commander has never been bonded by soul, not that I know of," Lexa revealed, and Clarke nodded.

"I understand," Clarke squeezed her shoulder. "I'll be your- what will I be?" Clarke questioned, but Lexa was lost for words. "I know! I'll be your handmaiden," Clarke smiled, and Lexa widened her eyes;

"There is no way you will be that Clarke," Lexa growled and caused Clarke to laugh.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Clarke teased, but Lexa pouted.

"I know, but- I just-" Lexa stuttered.

"How else would you explain my presence to people you don't know?" Clarke questioned and saw Lexa's shoulders fall.

"Yes, I suppose," Lexa growled. Clarke chuckled and shook her head.

"It's your call, Lex," Clarke told her and Lexa huffed but didn't tell Clarke she had changed her mind.

After that, Lexa had covered her hands with gloves so no one could see her bonding tattoo. She also tucked the crystal under her garments and Clarke did the same.

* * *

 

Clarke watched Lexa check trees with large trunks for next couple of hours and eventually asked her what she was doing. Lexa perked up and developed an amused smirk on her face.

"It's an old trick my mentor taught me when we used to travel through the Boatlands. Some trees, are hollow at the base or have been hollowed out carefully. We would shelter in a tree for the night, one large enough to keep us warm!" Lexa sounded excited as she spoken and animated her arms.

"Oh," Clarke replied with wide eyes. "That's really possible?" Clarke pondered aloud and watched Lexa nod. "Well, keep going," Clarke insisted and then glued her eyes to the tree trunks even though she had no idea what she was looking for.

It was an hour later that Lexa sped off in the direction of one particular tree. She looked at the side and then lifted a plank, that at first sight looked like it was part of the tree, revealed an entrance. It was musky inside, which was to be expected. Clarke looked around and watched how the tree had indeed been hollowed out. She didn't understand how the tree would be able to survive. Surely it needed its trunk? She was about to ask Lexa, but the brunette shoved her against the wooden wall after she had closed the entrance behind her and secured it. Lexa's lips were on Clarke's as of immediately. Clarke yelped, but soon her hands found themselves tangled in Lexa's curls and Clarke found herself moaning the minute Lexa's thigh made contact with her core.

"I've been dying to do that," Lexa whispered before she nipped at Clarke's neck, and eventually leaned back.

"Have you now?" Clarke breathed heavily with a smile on her face. Lexa chased her lips once more and grazed over them with her own.

"Yeah, I need to take advantage of every moment I can with you," Lexa grinned and pecked Clarke's lips one last time before she completely stepped back. Clarke whined which as a result prompted Lexa to chuckle at the cute reaction.

"How about some fishing? I saw a creek up ahead," Lexa informed Clarke, and the blonde was more than willing. She had been starving for the last hour and had been too busy taking in her surroundings to really give it the attention it deserved. Now, that Lexa was speaking of food, Clarke's stomach responded instead and grumbled.

"I take that as a yes," Lexa chuckled, and Clarke nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, I'm pretty starved," Clarke admitted and dropped their packs. She looked back and hesitated. Was it safe to leave their belongings there alone? Lexa appeared to be fully trusting, so Clarke followed suit.

Lexa had been correct in saying there was a creek up ahead because they only had to walk another 2 minutes until they had reached it. Clarke sat down and watched Lexa work. By the time Clarke had sat down, Lexa had taken off her boots and stood in the water. When Clarke let her hand brush through the streams, she winced as the water was remarkably cold.

"Lex, maybe you shouldn't do that," Clarke commented. "It's freezing, you'll catch your death," Clarke pointed out, but Lexa shrugged and before Clarke could say anything else she had already stabbed a fish that was swimming by. Clarke still could not fathom how she did it. If Clarke were to do the same and she had tried in the past, much to her own embarrassment, the fish would all swim away, but with Lexa, it was as if they welcomed her as one of their own.

"How do you do that?" Clarke growled after Lexa had caught a second one. Lexa chuckled and desperately wanted to kiss her wife's lips. She still loved thinking it and calling Clarke that. Her wife. _Hers._

"I don't stomp around," Lexa teased and hooked the fish to some string she had kept in her pocket so that she could wash her hands. Without doing so, the smell of raw fish scales would linger on her hands for the whole night to come.

"I'm light on my feet," Clarke argued and watched Lexa laugh. "I am!" Clarke insisted and crossed her arms over her chest. "How _dare_ you?" Clarke questioned with an enormous playful smile on her face.

"I think I'm allowed to make a conclusion or two," Lexa giggled.

"Really? And who gave you such permission?" Clarke inquired teasingly.

"Besides you?" Lexa chuckled and then added, "The spirit of life, my love," Clarke widened her eyes and looked behind her, examining her surroundings.

"I thought we were supposed to be careful with how we acted around each other in case someone was watching that we don't trust?" Clarke asked Lexa, and the brunette looked confused.

"We're not in the close vicinity of one another, I'm a few steps away from you," Lexa stuttered.

"Yes, but you just-" Clarke halted her words. "Oh, people don't speak Aklish here do they?" Clarke asked without expecting an answer.

Lexa raised her eyebrows confidently and shook her head. 

"That's good!" Clarke said awkwardly because she realized how unaware she must have sounded just a few moments ago. Clarke scratched the back of her head and then waved her hand in the direction of Lexa. "We could- I mean we _have_ a secret language. That- that will come in handy," Clarke kept her awkwardness going until Lexa's facade broke and soft chuckle echoed against the creek.

"Indeed it will, Clarke," Lexa murmured after tying her shoes and stood up with two fish hanging from a thread. She walked ahead and beckoned Clarke to follow her.

* * *

 

Upon arrival at their shelter for the night, Clarke was pleased to see their stuff still inside. When she turned around, she watched Lexa create a fire, but outside. Clarke's brow deepened as she walked towards her wife.

"Babe, I don't think we'll feel the heat from there," Clarke pointed out and watched an amused smile mark Lexa's features.

"I want to cook the fish and heat these stones," Lexa said and revealed a bag of red stones.

"You lost me," Clarke replied pointing at the stones and watched Lexa's smile grow bigger.

"We're not going to light a fire inside. The tree is too small for that, and we'd die if not from the suffocation then surely from the fire we'd most likely create," Lexa told her with a small chuckle hidden in her voice. Clarke watched behind her and wondered how big a tree needed to be, considering this one was quite large. She imagined what such a tree would look like.

"So what are we doing?" Clarke asked assuming they would sleep without a fire.

"Well, before we left, we were allowed to take things from the Blue City, like armor or supplies. I took these," Lexa again pointed at the bag and continued, "You normally only find them in the Desert Lands or the Broad Leaf Lands because of their hot weather."

Clarke looked at the stones and picked on up. They had yellowish looking veins carving through them. "Right?" Clarke voiced and silently asked Lexa to continue.

"They're usually a fire hazard. They heat up and take ages to cool down, which can cause forest fires for example." Lexa explained and added with a pointing gesture in the direction of the sky, "In the winter, however, they can be lifesavers if you have some. They'll keep us warm throughout the night if placed on this of course," Lexa said and reached into the bag, all the way to the end. On coming up, she revealed a ceramic plate.

"You've been carrying around stones all this time? Isn't that extremely heavy?" Clarke asked, slightly annoyed though she wasn't sure why. She was most likely concerned for Lexa's back.

"They're not that heavy, my love," Lexa stated and handed the bag to Clarke for her to feel. To her astonishment, the bag indeed was quite light. Clarke's eyes fluttered with confusion. She reached for another stone, and indeed they weren't that heavy as if they had been hollowed out somehow, though it didn't look like it. Clarke sighed. This world and everything in it, wouldn't start making sense any time soon, she imagined.

"I'll let you handle it," Clarke smiled tightly.

"How about you handle the fish," Lexa offered. Clarke greedily took hold of the string from which their soon to be food was dangling. Fish was fish...she hoped, so she shouldn't have any problems or gaps of knowledge concerning fish.

"Just beware of the golden stones inside of them, they're poisonous," Lexa told her as Clarke was on her way inside and Clarke turned on heels.

"Golden, poisonous stones?" Clarke whimpered with wide eyes. "Well, how should I-?" Clarke gulped as her mind started racing. "Should I wear gloves? I don't know how to- are the bones the same? Are they safe?" Clarke rambled nervously. After a few taunting seconds Clarke watched Lexa's features cracking and found her wife cackling at her.

"Lexa, don't laugh at me. I'm not used to-" Clarke scolded but then realized Lexa was making fun of her. "There are no poisonous stones are there?" Clarke questioned with a serious face and watched Lexa shake her head and barely containing her laughter.  Clarke rolled her eyes, "Very funny, Lex,"

"I'm sorry, Clarke," Lexa laughed. She wasn't.

"You're an asshole," Clarke pointed out, but her features started mirroring those of Lexa. Lexa's laugh, albeit rare, was infectious. Soon, Clarke as well started laughing. "I hate you," Clarke laughed and went inside to debone those damn fish.

 A little under an hour later, Clarke reappeared outside with two prepped fish on a stick and placed them over the fire, in which the stones were glazing.

"They're red now," Clarke muttered and saw Lexa nodding in her peripheral.

"That's why they're called fire stones," Lexa explained, and Clarke looked at her with a quirked eyebrow, "It sounds better in Trigedasleng," Lexa chuckled.

"How will you get them out?" Clarke asked. Again Lexa reached inside the bag and revealed a small pair of tongs. "All prepared huh?" Clarke commented.

"It was one of the things I knew we would need. It's nearly winter here, and sleeping out in the open, is dangerous not only because we're exposed, but it's simply too cold. I was so happy when I saw them in the Blue City," Lexa beamed. She had hoped to find a village immediately, but she had prepared herself in case they wouldn't.

"It'll be night soon," Clarke shivered. The sun was dying into the horizon, and cold wisps of air surrounded them both. If it were not for the fire, Clarke would not last more than a minute.

"Yes, I'll be able to know where we truly are," Lexa commented and looked up at the darkening sky. She watched a shiver run up Clarke's spine and told her, "Go get an extra cloak out of my bag,"

Clarke wanted to protest, "It's only for now, so you can keep me company out here," Lexa stated with a playful smile and watched Clarke enter the tree. It was extremely dark, and Clarke realized they would at least need some kind of candle to lighten their shelter. She managed to find the cloak and rejoined Lexa outside.

"I can barely see a thing in there," Clarke whispered.

"The stones will help, and I'll light a candle or two. If we're careful, we should be fine," Lexa concluded, and Clarke offered her a short nod.

* * *

 

It wasn't long before the stones were ready and night had fallen. Before Lexa would investigate where they were, she wanted to set up their shelter so Clarke could eat comfortably. The fish were ready. They were a little blackened on the outside, but neither was bothered by a thing like that. 

She placed the stones carefully on the plate, and that's when Clarke realized, firstly how much warmth they offered, as if it was a fire, and secondly how much light. They shined brightly, like a fire as well, although their color was slightly darker and easier to look at. Clarke looked around and found that the tree was colored in orange light as a result of the stones. She couldn't see perfectly, but with a candle or two, it would be perfect.

Right at that point, Lexa entered the tree with two large candles, Clarke had been carrying in her pack. It was like Lexa had prepared everything for this particular shelter. Clarke imagined Lexa had been hoping they would come across a shelter like this. Like Lexa had said earlier, winter was nearly upon them. It wasn't much, but it looked like Lexa had anticipated their journey better than Clarke had. Though how could she have? Clarke didn't know anything about this world.

"There, perfect," Lexa smiled and pressed her lips chastely against Clarke's. "I'm going to check where we are exactly and then I'll join you for our food," Lexa told her. "Here, eat the fish, while it's still warm," Lexa ordered, but Clarke reached out for her and held her by the elbow.

"Lexa, you should eat while it's warm too," Clarke replied, but Lexa shook her head.

"I'll feel much more at ease once I know where we are. And then I can just stay here," Lexa smiled. The tree was a good shelter. They wouldn't need to take shifts keeping watch. It was impossible to find a shelter tree at night, especially if the tree had been secured from the inside, which was a blessing and a curse. A blessing, for no one, would be able to find them unless they knew exactly which tree to open. And a curse, were they not to find one in daylight and be forced to sleep outside.

"Okay," Clarke said feeling dejected. She watched her wife step outside and covered the entrance thoroughly. Clarke looked at the fish and shrugged. She took a bite and reveled in its marvelous taste. It was only then that she remembered how hungry she had been.

Meanwhile, Lexa looked at the sky, with her hand on her dagger, just in case. She looked for Orion and quickly found it. They were in the middle of the Boatlands, given the position of the stars and the lack of light one would find in the Glowing forest. She breathed out feeling completely relieved.

"Thank the Spirits," She whispered and quickly headed back. She made sure not to wander too far from their shelter, as she would not be able to find it on her way back if she had. Thankfully, the moon gave her ample light for her to recognize her path. She had made sure to count her steps and watch the direction she walked in, so she could do the same thing while heading back.

She moved the door softly and was happy to find that she had made her way back. She closed the door behind her and secured it, so even if one were to attempt at finding out whether this was a shelter tree or not, they would not be able to breach the door.

She moved next to Clarke, who looked relieved to see her. The blonde handed her, her piece of fish, now cold. It didn't matter. Lexa was starved and devoured it.

After that, Clarke cuddled into her embrace, with both of their furs wrapped around them, and their mats under them. Lexa sighed out, feeling warm and fed.

"You know, one of these days you're going to have to tell me a lot more about this world." Clarke pointed out and felt Lexa's chin shift. The blonde looked up and offered a meek smile. "Not now, now I'm tired and barely keeping my eyes open, but one of these days," Clarke stated.

"I promise I will," Lexa vowed and kissed the top of Clarke's head.

"And your language. I know you taught me a couple of things before," Clarke smiled against Lexa's neck, remembering the filth Lexa had taught her, mostly sex related things. "But I want more," Clarke insisted and felt a tremor rumble in Lexa's chest. Lexa chuckled and nodded.

"Yes, ai hodnes," Lexa vowed once more, speaking one of the few words Clarke knew.

* * *

 

The next morning, both woke up to a significantly colder environment. The stones had burned all night but had now lost their color. Clarke didn't know when they had lost their heat, but it couldn't have been too long ago, or it would've been much colder. With the small shift of her arms, Clarke woke Lexa up and watched Lexa take a disoriented breath.

"Morning," Clarke whispered and kissed Lexa's jaw. Lexa smiled groggily and replied those same words.

"Morning," Slowly Lexa opened her eyes and was happy that she had slept well. Of course, she had had better sleep in her life, but it hadn't been horrible. The next thing she wanted to do was find a nearby village and trade some valuables for horses. Lexa had brought some ruby's in her pack, again from the Blue City. She had been surprised they had been so generous. Lexa had decided she would one day pay them back for all their kindness.

"You're thinking pretty loud," Clarke chided and poked Lexa's sides. Lexa looked down at the girl glued to her side and nodded.

"We should try finding a village today," Lexa replied with her hand grazing through Clarke's hair. Clarke nodded and leaned her head deeper into Lexa's shoulder.

"So from now on, purely platonic huh?" Clarke asked and felt Lexa nod.

"It won't be for long, just until Polis, okay?" Lexa insisted. Clarke nodded and kissed the girl's neck.

"Yes," Clarke agreed.

* * *

 

They had been walking for a while after they had left the shelter. Lexa had climbed another tree and had spotted a village in the distance. They would reach it, before nightfall, adding the time it would take them to stop and eat a bite at noon.

The sun stood highly in the sky, and Lexa decided to stop, for they had been walking for three hours and she was hungry. They had some vegetables and leftover fish to make a nice stew.

"I'll go collect water and firewood, will you prepare the vegetables and fish?" Lexa asked, and Clarke enthusiastically nodded.

"I will," Clarke responded and started unpacking the food. Lexa turned around briefly with a hesitant look.

"Maybe I shouldn't leave you alone here in the open-" Lexa fussed but Clarke interjected.

"This isn't my first dragon race Lex; I know how to fight if someone were to attack me. Stop worrying, now go," Clarke ordered and watched a conflicted crease carve Lexa's forehead in two. The brunette didn't insist, but she did, ungracefully so, turn around and stomp off. Clarke chortled a little and continued with her work.

Clarke was peeling the potatoes and anticipated on peeling the carrots as well. With Lexa's dagger, she cut them into squares and dropped them in the small pot they had brought. She hummed contently to herself and started on the second potato. She tapped her foot in rhythm with the melody she was humming until she heard a crack behind her.

Thinking it was Lexa, she didn't turn around but said, "Back so soon," When she didn't receive a response she turned around with a smile. What she saw wasn't Lexa however, it was a black girl with sturdy furs wrapped around her and her smile faltered. Clarke blinked and felt her heart surge up into a nervous beat.

She wasn't sure what to say. The next thing she knew the girl was speaking to her but in a foreign tongue, she didn't understand.

"Yu laik raun ai stegeda, streinga," The girl spoke calmly, and Clarke gulped. When Clarke didn't answer the girl approached a little too briskly, and Clarke reached for her dagger. Upon seeing the dagger, the girl's eyes widened. She examined the intricate design, and a well-crafted snarl appeared on her face.

"Weron done yu ge dei?" She asked angrily, and Clarke's breathing picked up.

"Ron ai ridiyo op!" The girl yelled, but Clarke took a defensive stance, and the girl lunged for her, trying to take the dagger from her. Clarke drew back defensively and assumed this person wanted to steal from her.

As the girl's arm sneaked around Clarke and attempted at taking the dagger, Clarke slapped her palm between the girl's shoulder blades and had her falling towards the ground, head first. Before she could reach the dirt, she plunged her fist into Clarke's stomach, punching out the air, and grabbed behind Clarke's knee at least to take Clarke with her to the ground.

Clarke's back hit the floor, but she never let go of the dagger. She spun it around in her wrist, ready to attack, but the girl was too fast for her. She had already straddled Clarke and angled her elbow to prepare her next blow. Clarke blocked the incoming fist with her arms crossed, almost giving the girl the opportunity to take her dagger. As she reached for it with her other hand, Clarke spun the blade around and sliced the girl's forearm. A hissing whisper echoed from the girl's mouth as the blood coated her cloak.

Clarke pushed her off but not before the girl landed a faint blow against Clarke's jaw, and splitting her lip. Clarke pushed herself up, on her knees and stood up. The minute Clarke was back on her feet, the two women circled each other, each looking for an opening. The other girl surged forward first, and Clarke found her opportunity to step aside. From the corner of her eye, Clarke saw her opponent's arm begin its upward trajectory and ducked in time, so the blow whizzed over her hair, creating a gust of wind.

It appeared as if she had angered the girl, but instead of that anger throwing her off her game, it seemed only to enhance her skill. Next thing Clarke knew, she was back on the ground, trying to block the girl's grip. The girl had turned Clarke's dagger against her and pushed forward.

Just as the blade licked her skin, Clarke heard a cry, then a scuffle, and then the girl's weight and Clarke's dagger had disappeared, and thick brown curls appeared.

"Lex," Clarke breathed relieved. Lexa had thrown the girl off Clarke with such momentum, the girl's cloak had fallen over her head and hid her face, not that that seemed to slow her down. The girl kicked up her feet, hoping to hit Lexa, but the brunette leaped aside and grabbed both of those legs, pulling them further, and easily fell on top of the girl, with her knee to the girl's chest. She twisted the girl's arm to retrieve Clarke's dagger. Once she had the blade in hand, she lunged forward but halted mid-swing and breathed out shakily. In the midst of their scuffle, the girl's cloak had fallen back to the ground and had revealed her features.

 _"Kostia?"_ Lexa breathed emotionally, and the dagger fell out of her palm, thudding onto the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Yu laik raun ai stegeda, streinga: You're pretty close to my village stranger  
> Weron done yu ge dei?: Where did you get that?   
> Ron ai ridiyo op!: Speak true!
> 
>  
> 
> So yeah I suck at fight scenes. I hope it wasn't too bad. If you have any questions leave a comment of come ask me shit on my tumblr (ceyarothegay . tumblr . com), whichever you prefer :) 
> 
> Anyways see you next time folks!


	13. Kostia

Lexa's breath sounded ragged, and if it weren't for the ungraceful backward scrambles of the girl beneath her, it would be the only thing echoing against the trees surrounding them. Costia slipped on her cloak on which her foot stepped instead of the ground while backing away from the commander.

She lifted her hand above her face, trying to block out the light that made it impossible to examine the details of Lexa's face. A shade of recognition colored the girl's vulnerable features, and a small whimper tore away from her throat. Costia looked back to the ground and spotted the dagger. She dived towards it and reached for it.

"Hey-" Clarke yelped, but Lexa held her wife by her waist and allowed Costia to take the dagger. Costia looked at it and cradled it as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

She examined the intricate design on the handle and rubbed her thumb over them. She could not look up. It was not her. It could not be. She was dead. Lexa was dead.

Costia licked her lips and bit hard on her bottom lip if only to stop it from shaking. It was Lexa's dagger, but why was it-? Why did that girl have it? Costia dared another glance upwards and winced when she distinguished those particular features, Lexa's features, only sharper.

 _"You're not her,"_ She stated shaking her head stubbornly, thinking it was a trick of some sort. Lexa breathed in deeply, not exactly knowing what to say. " _You're dead. You're not real."_ Costia muttered to herself as if she had experienced this before and then Lexa stepped forward.

 _"Kostia,"_ Lexa whispered, but the girl was in shock and kept muttering to herself. Lexa sighed and caught a glimpse of Clarke's face in her peripheral. The impression of Clarke's split lip caused her to swivel around quickly and examine the girl. She watched Clarke's red jaw that would most likely develop a purple color later, and the dried blood on her chin.

"Clarke-" Lexa's eyes widened. Lexa's hand flailed around, tapping over Clarke's body to check for any other injuries.

Sensing the importance of this moment, Clarke flinched and drew her head back, "I'm fine," Clarke whispered, keeping her eyes on the girl that had just attacked her. Clarke moved her jaw around and rubbed her cheek. That girl had one hell of a right hook.

Upon watching Lexa's hands jump from one area to the other, Costia found herself fixating on them. She fluttered her eyes and remembered those hands, so particular. In the blackness of her mind, she saw Lexa holding a fork while they would eat. Then the image morphed into a conversation and how she moved them when she spoke. A low rumble in the depth of her stomach caused her to gag as a result of the memory. Costia ran to the nearest tree and emptied out her breakfast. She clutched to the tree as she dry heaved. While she caught her breath, she looked at the two women watching her closely. She spat out the dreadful taste, but it didn't help much with the constant ringing in her head, and the pain in her chest.

Lexa unleashed her waterskin and offered it to Costia. Costia eyed it and then regarded Clarke. Clarke threw a quick glance at Lexa and then decided to distance herself, hoping to give them a little space. She had quickly understood that Lexa knew this person, she knew this person well.

Costia still felt out of breath while she watched Clarke turn her back on the scene, her feet crunching the leaves beneath her, as she walked away. Her eyes darted back at Lexa and had piercing accusation in them. She snatched the waterskin from Lexa's hands and took three big gulps, before wiping her lips.

 _"How?"_ Costia asked desperately. Lexa held Costia's gaze before looking down to collect her courage.

This time Costia's ragged breath turned into muffled sobs as she watched Lexa's face. It was her. Costia's tears stained her cheeks and betrayed the colors of her heart.

 _"It's a long-"_ Lexa stuttered. In the midst of her emotions, Lexa couldn't remember the word for 'story' in Trigedasleng. _"It's not easy to say,"_ She said shakily in broken Trigedasleng. Costia heard a faint accent and stuttered speech she did not remember Lexa ever possessing. The sound did not match the image, which somehow made sense.

When Costia made a brisk movement towards Lexa, Lexa thought she was going to attack her or slap her. Instead, she flung her arms around Lexa's shoulders and held on tightly. Lexa choked out a breath and quickly reciprocated the gesture.

By the river, Clarke hissed when her hands hit the cold water. She couldn't help let her mind wander to who that girl was and more importantly who she was to Lexa. She shook her head and told herself to focus on the food they were making. She figured everyone could use some stew to hold onto right now.

Meanwhile, Lexa was rubbing Costia's back as the girl cried into her shoulder. Lexa had watched Clarke sneak away a little earlier and had been partially grateful for it. However, she could have certainly used Clarke's support and wanted Clarke's touch desperately to soothe her; she knew Clarke would be a well of questions for Costia.

Costia leaned out and asked, _"Where have you been? We all thought-"_ Costia sat down and hid her face in her palms. Lexa sighed.

 _"We looked for you, for so long,"_ Costia sniffed and regarded Lexa. _"You look so different,"_ Costia continued.

 _"You too,_ " Lexa replied and then with a shrug added, _"But the same,"_

Costia chuckled through her tears and replied, _"Yeah,"_

There was a long silence between them, neither not really knowing what to say, though both had insisting questions lingering on the tip of their tongues. Lexa looked around at the symmetrical trees, needing to focus on something random to elevate the pressure of the thoughts in her mind.

Lexa grimaced and swallowed deeply. She found herself avoiding Costia's piercing brown eyes she somehow felt burning a hole in the side of her skull. She could only imagine what the girl was going through now, or what she had gone through, thinking Lexa had died. Lexa closed her eyes and swallowed her tears that were threatening to escape.

 _"Lexa... what happened?"_ Costia broke the silence with determination. She never wasted any time and asked the hardest questions first.

Lexa broke her eyes away from the trees and focused on Costia. Those eyes, so full of purpose and pain.

Costia realized she was being abrasive, but she needed that question answered and fast. She was sitting on a fallen tree trunk with Lexa, Lexa, who was supposed to be dead. Perhaps she was dreaming? It wouldn't be the first time, though it had been a very long time since. She had had dreams like this only less real. This felt so real. She waited for Lexa's answer. Every time she had dreamed about her all those years ago, she had woken up right before Lexa would tell her what had happened. She was waiting to wake up. Any time now.

 _"I'm not sure,"_ Lexa admitted. It was the truth. Costia glanced up with wide eyes. She hadn't woken up, yet.

Lexa swallowed and told her the distinct memory she had told so often, _"One minute, I was on the ship, speaking to Anya, and-"_ Lexa kept getting tongue-tied, _"After, the water broke the window and the water entered- I couldn't breathe,"_ Lexa stated honestly, perhaps with less eloquence as she kept searching for her words.

 _'Still asleep,'_ rung in Costia's mind.

Costia nodded. She remembered Anya telling the tale countless times. They had shipwrecked or had been attacked, that part was never clear, and in the midst of the chaos, they had lost Lexa. When they couldn't find her body and Lexa hadn't returned after several months, they had all assumed the ocean had swallowed her whole and she had returned to the Spirits until one day she would have been ready to return in the form of a newborn nightblida.

Costia wanted to respond, but the full weight of the memory threatened to press her down, against the ground and into the dirt until she could feel clay particles stamp her cheeks. She knew this story.

 _"Then,"_ Lexa spoke shakily, _"I woke up in this hut with two women, who I didn't understand, around me,"_ Lexa swallowed her ragged breath. Costia's chest mimicked Lexa's as her breathing picked up. This wasn't part of the story she knew, and violently so, it told her that she was either still asleep or this wasn't a dream. Costia gulped down and felt a tear roll down her cheek. This was real. The forcefulness of that realization punched her in the stomach, and a strongly stifled snivel tore away from her throat.

At that point, Clarke returned to their encampment and poured water into the pot that had somehow managed to stay on the fire. The water immediately boiled, and some of it evaporated, splattering Clarke's hands in the process, which had the blonde flinching.

Costia sucked in a sharp breath, momentarily wanting to break away from their subject. She eyed Clarke warily and found a different subject in the blonde. She still had the dagger in hand and returned it to Lexa before rubbing her thumb over the design.

 _"Sorry,"_ Costia muttered, hoping a change of subject would allow some weight to slither off their shoulders. _"I recognized it, and she didn't say anything-I thought she knew what had happened to you or had something to do with it,"_ Costia explained remorsefully. In return, Lexa offered her an understanding nod. She felt some relief in her chest with the change of subject and was grateful for it.

 _"Who is she anyways?"_ Costia asked without thinking twice and caused Lexa to chuckle inwards. Well, that relief didn't last long. From one hard subject to the next. No tact.

 _"Her name is Clarke,"_ Lexa answered. Upon hearing her name, Clarke looked back and caught both women's eyes on her. She smiled tightly, not sure what to do. Lexa beckoned, and hesitantly Clarke approached both of them.

Lexa handed Clarke her dagger, which was inherently hers after all. Costia's eyes widened. That dagger had been offered to Lexa after her conclave, she would never part with it, and here she was handing it cavalierly to another person. Clarke nodded gratefully and offered a shy smile to Costia who didn't mirror the gesture which trampled any possibility of an introduction, not right now anyways. Clarke cleared her voice and turned on her heels.

 _"I repeat, who is she?"_ Costia questioned with a darker tone and bobbed her chin in the direction of the dagger, now laying lazily in Clarke's hand as the blonde returned to their stew.

 _"She's-"_ Lexa halted. Costia was once a person she trusted more than anyone, but now, she found herself at a crossroad. She didn't know this Costia and vice versa. _"She's-"_ Lexa repeated but couldn't find the words, this time not because of her lack of memory but because she found herself pained with the thought of lying to Costia, but at the same time distrusting her. _"She's here to help,"_ Lexa stated with her gaze cast down.

 _"Right,"_ Costia muttered, already understanding Lexa's predicament, so she didn't push the issue further.

* * *

 

Clarke finished the stew and stepped towards the women behind her, who had been sitting together in silence for the last twenty minutes. She handed to cups to both of them, thinking she would eat after Lexa was done.

"You first," Lexa said and handed Clarke back the cup, much to Clarke's disagreement. With a slight roll of her eyes, Clarke accepted the cup and gobbled its contents, burning her tongue in the process.

Even more so, Costia eyelids stretched at the particular words she did not understand. When Clarke sat down a little further, Costia eyed her suspiciously. The foreign language, completely unknown to her, spurred more questions. Costia decided to brave the substance of the subject they had breached before.

 _"What happened after you were in that hut?_ " Costia asked now having slightly calmed down. The cup in her hand made it easier as well. It divided the attention between their food and their conversation.

Lexa looked up, away from Clarke and at Costia.

 _"I was sent to this island with... strong people,"_ Lexa replied and added with a smile, _"- good people,"_ Then her smile faltered as she continued," _Who spoke a different tongue."_

Lexa looked down and sighed, _"I was alone,"_ Lexa whimpered but quickly regained her posture and with it, her mask.

 _"I still do not understand how I alone survived?_ " Lexa sounded frustrated and hurt. She looked up, hoping to dry the tears that were developing at the bottom of her eyes.

Costia's brow creased her forehead, and with it, she pointed out something important. _"Lexa,"_ Costia uttered so she would catch the girl's attention. She needed Lexa to look at her when she told her this. Lexa found Costia's eyes as the girl continued, _"You're not,"_

The remaining air that had been in Lexa's lungs burned violently on its way out.

 _"What?"_ She whispered.

 _"Everyone survived, except for you- and well that's not true given you're here,"_ Costia pointed out. Lexa's lips parted for only a second before they mashed back together. Then a smile carved Lexa's face, a relieved expression that Costia gladly mimicked.

 _"They're alive?"_ Lexa asked again because she wanted to hear it again.

 _"Yes,"_ Costia grinned.

 _"Anya?"_ Lexa murmured and saw Costia nod. _"You've seen her?_ " Lexa asked and saw Costia chuckling more.

 _"Yes,"_ Costia replied with an amused smirk. 

The revelation had had the best effect on their chemistry because as of immediately, they both fell into a comfortable rhythm. It felt familiar like they weren't just speaking to a copy of the other. They were speaking to true flesh and blood.

 _"I tried to find my way back,_ " Lexa swore. " _I promise you,_ " Lexa's voice faltered. _"But I was too far away,"_ She explained, and Costia nodded. _"I only found a way to come back now,"_ Lexa stated, though she didn't want to admit she had stopped looking for about three years. She didn't want to admit she had put her heart over her head and had ignored her duty.

 _"We looked for you, for months. When the Spirit blessed no other nightblood, we knew something terrible had happened."_ Costia told her, and Lexa nodded. " _The tale goes that the Spirit decided to take you back and punish us for our previous actions. It says the world was not ready for you,"_ Costia stated the legend that had been conjured up when Lexa had disappeared. Lexa sighed. There was a long task ahead of her.

Costia had so many more questions, but she felt sated for now. She looked back at Clarke and regretted treating the girl with such disdain.

 _"She's from where you were?"_ Costia asked, and Lexa nodded with a faint smile on her lips. A smile that Costia recognized as one only reserved for those closest to Lexa's heart. A shade of understanding darkened Costia's eyes. The shade expanded from her eyes, down to her shoulders and soon Costia's whole posture had been altered. Whoever this Clarke was, she was important and most likely a lover.

When Clarke approached them again, handing Lexa a cup of food, Lexa reached out and halted Clarke.

"Sit?" Lexa asked, and Clarke obliged her. She sat next to them, even though it was certainly awkward for her. Lexa hadn't exactly introduced them, a decision Clarke didn't resent, but it hadn't helped the tension either.

"Clarke," Lexa murmured and quickly the blonde cast her eyes up. The tension she had felt before particularly eased when she found Lexa's eyes.

"This is Costia," Lexa pointed at the girl next to her. Clarke nodded and noticed the astonished expression on Costia's face every time Lexa spoke to her. "She was one of my best friends before I-" Lexa's voice wandered off as she spoke. "She recognized my dagger. That's why she attacked you. Since she thought I was dead-"

"She thought I had information," Clarke interjected and nodded. Clarke attempted another smile and heard Lexa speak to Costia in their language. Lexa explained that she had told Clarke who Costia was and why Costia had attacked her.

"Moba," Costia offered, this time her apology directed at Clarke, and Clarke looked at Lexa with a confused brow.

"It means sorry," Lexa explained and watched Clarke's brows ease.

"Moba," Clarke mimicked as well with a harsher accent than Lexa's, one that probably wouldn't disappear over time. "How do you say, you have a hell of a right hook?" Clarke asked with a slight chuckle and tore a warm giggle from Lexa's throat. Costia eyed them with uncertainty, but it was an amused kind of uncertainty, as if Lexa's open happiness had indeed surprised her, but had equally charmed her.

 _"She says you fight well,"_ Lexa translated and saw a pleased smirk fall on Costia's lips. Of course, she would be pleased.

 _"She does too,"_ Costia replied and kneaded her shoulder blade, which had fallen victim to one of Clarke's blows.

"She says you do too," Lexa smiled and watched a comfortable chemistry develop between the three of them. With relief, Lexa breathed out.

Clarke offered a wide smile and reached out her hand. She hoped it was a universal gesture. Costia accepted her hand but wrapped her hand around Clarke's arm. Clarke regarded their arms and shrugged. Good enough.

* * *

 

Lexa adjusted her cloak after they had started packing all their belongings. She smiled shyly as she watched her blonde curse when she spilled some stew on her boot. Lexa's smile turned into a grimace when her eyes caught Costia lingering in the back. Costia had been giving her a strange look, a mixture of apprehension and raw fear.

 _"What's the matter?"_ Lexa asked.

 _"A lot has changed, Lexa,"_ Costia explained but with it didn't explain anything. Lexa gave her a quizzical look and approached her friend. She could hear Clarke behind her, packing up the last pot, but the sound didn't distract Lexa from the conversation at hand.

 _"Azgeda is everywhere,"_ Costia whispered out of habit. Lexa looked around thinking they were being watched, but Costia shook her head and grabbed her arm. " _No, not here, sorry,"_ Costia closed her eyes painfully.

 _"You don't know what's happened,"_ Costia stated. _"There are only a few clans that didn't lose their autonomy over the years, some willingly..."_ Costia looked away as she added, _"Most not. There are only the Glowing forest and the plain riders Clan that kept their independence."_ Costia continued, and Lexa's eyes grew with devastation.

 _"Those who fought for years and still do-"_ Costia sighed and rubbed her forehead, _"It's a long story, but Azgeda guards know who I am here-"_ Costia stated warily, _"If I bring a stranger to my mother's village-"_

 _"We're near Middle River?"_ Lexa asked, knowing Costia's birthplace. She had often visited as a child, then as a nightblida. Costia nodded and confirmed Lexa's question.

 _"If I bring a stranger, that looks like you, to my mother's village-"_ Costia sighed and looked at the blonde tying a sack. _"Clarke wouldn't be a problem, her blonde hair, her blue eyes, she looks like Azgeda, but you-"_ Costia shook her head and continued, " _It's better if you're not seen. If someone recognizes you-"_ Costia wept fearfully, and that alone was enough for Lexa to agree with her.

 _"Okay,"_ Lexa nodded and wrapped her arm reassuringly around Costia's bicep. " _We can wait for nightfall,_ " Lexa stated, but Costia shook her head, regaining her posture.

 _"No need, I know a way into my mother's house,"_ Costia smirked.

Next thing, Clarke, and Lexa were dragged down an underground waterway that was held up with wooden beams.

 _"This was first created by Treekru to communicate with_ Boatkru _during the eight-year war,_ " Costia revealed and immediately triggered Lexa's memory. She looked around and allowed her hand to linger on the old wooden balks. That war had ended during the end of her second summer. She only knew the tales, told by her elders.

 _"Azgeda didn't realize when they put us in the old houses that they would give us access to the underground tunnels,"_ Costia grinned. _"Idiots,"_

 _"What do you mean they put you there?_ " Lexa asked and looked behind her to check up on Clarke, who seemed to take in her surroundings once more. Lexa made a mental note to explain everything to Clarke later that night, and thank her for being so supportive.

Costia turned around and looked down, _"Like I said, a lot has changed,"_ Costia muttered tiredly and then turned on her heels, again leading the way. Lexa's nostrils flared, and protective wave fell over her.

Eventually, they arrived at a ladder, which they climbed, and lead them into what looked like a cellar. Lexa grasped Clarke's hand and helped her up. The hand that had been placed on Clare's waist lingered for just a second, which told Clarke, Lexa was in need of some emotional support. Clarke angled her head and gave Lexa pitiful look. Spirits, did she want to reach out, cup her face and press their foreheads together; to tell her everything would be all right even if they would not be.

Costia beckoned them up a flight of stairs after hiding the opening to the ladder with more hay and opened the door.

 _"Mother?"_ She echoed through the small house, obviously infected with humidity. It caused an angry rumble in Lexa's chest as she inspected the living conditions. Clarke, as well, was taken aback by the state the house was in. She glanced at Lexa with a worried expression.

Costia's mother was the chief of this village, Lexa could only imagine what the civilians were going through, what living conditions they would have had to bear. Lexa found herself in a situation she hadn't been in for years. A situation in which she was too afraid to ask how bad it was.

Before Lexa could express how she would make Azgeda scum pay for what they did, Costia's mother entered the room with a smile and a cup in hand that she was giving a thorough clean.

 _"Kostia,"_ She smiled warmly, and then her gaze shifted to what looked like two strangers to her. Her smile became tighter as if she only wanted to be polite.

 _"Hello,"_ She said sounding uncertain. Then she looked at Costia with insecure eyes. She then noticed the door of the cellar ajar and her mind went into motion. Her polite smile disappeared, and instead, a scowl appeared on her face.

 _"I told you to stop doing this,"_ She snapped at Costia who shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. What she was referring to was working with the underground rebellion, but this wasn't- well maybe it was indirectly working with the resistance.

 _"Mother, you don't recognize her?"_ Costia asked, and her mother gave her an annoyed look. She then glossed over the two other women standing in her kitchen, and she shrugged. _"Mom,"_ Costia pressed and eventually but reluctantly the woman thoroughly examined both girls.

Then it clicked in her head. With a gasp, she dropped the cup in her hand and had it shattering against the floor. The small pieces scattered across the room and had Lexa kneeling to recover the biggest pieces.

 _"But that's impossible,"_ She growled and looked at Costia for any more explanation, but her daughter could not help her. She then anchored her hand under Lexa's elbow and dragged her up to examine her further.

 _"_ _Meilia_ _,"_ Lexa whispered, and that was all that it took to convince her. Next thing Lexa knew, she was being enveloped in a tight hug. She could even hear her bones crack from the impact.

 _"The spirit has brought you back to the land of the living,"_ Meilia sniffed. _"Let me look at you, my girl,"_ Meilia laughed through her tears. She cupped Lexa's face and angled it in every direction possible. _"You're so beautiful,"_ She gushed and kissed every surface of Lexa's face, except for her lips.

 _"Are you hungry?"_ Meilia asked Lexa who shrugged with a warm smile.

 _"We just ate, thank you,"_ Lexa replied. She wanted to tell her to keep the food she had to herself, to take care of herself, but she would not insult Meilia by refusing her offer for those reasons. At the mention of 'we' Meilia looked behind Lexa and rubbed her hands on her skirt.

"Oh, moba, ai laik Meilia," She introduced herself to Clarke, but the blonde looked frozen in time.

Before anyone could interject and explain that Clarke didn't understand Trigedasleng, Clarke spoke up, understanding that Meilia was her name and replied, "Clarke," She extended her arm, much like she had done with Costia and hoped this was the right protocol. Meilia gladly accepted her arm and grasped it tightly.

 _"The spirit is not angry at us anymore!"_ Meilia told her daughter and sobbed through her smile.

 _"Mom,_ " Costia carped with sorrow in her voice, but her mother continued gushing how times would change now.

 _"It hasn't abandoned us. It's come back to us. It'll save us now,"_ She ranted happily and quickly added, _"I must go pray, and thank the Spirit_ ," Meilia stated but then changed her mind, _"But not before I make some tea, you all must be freezing,_ " She fussed and roamed through her cupboards, looking for a pot.

 _"Mom,"_ Costia sighed, but it was no use.

Lexa watched Meilia with large eyes. The woman she remembered, the strong warrior she had known was gone. What stood before her was a frail woman with shaking hands, looking frantically for a teapot. Meilia was one of the most spiritual people Lexa had known, but right now, looking at her, muttering to herself about the Spirit while half crying, she looked like she had lost all her senses, and it made Lexa feel sick to her stomach. She could only imagine what they had done to her to get her like this.

Her hands were struggling with the tab as she poured in the water. She put it on the stove before she exited the house. Costia sighed and sat down while licking her lips.

_"Kos-"_

_"They-_ " Costia sighed deeply. "S _he was held captured for about two years. And when they returned her to me, this is what I got: a fool that believes nonsensical tales people conjured up to make themselves feel better."_ Costia uttered bitterly and then continued, _"I respect the Spirit and the religion, you know that,"_  Costia stated looking at Lexa, " _But having to listen to that crap every time I'm here and realizing that it's the only thing she managed to cling onto-."_ Costia spat angrily, " _-Means they took everything from her, and only left her with a broken mind,_ " Costia clenched her jaw as she spoke.

Lexa looked up as she felt tears brimming at the surface of her eyes. Then she felt a warm hand slide into hers and recognized it immediately as Clarke's. Though Clarke had not understood a single word of their conversation, she had quickly caught something terrible had upset Lexa. She cursed herself for not picking up this language quicker.

Lexa squeezed gratefully as her heart slowed down, as she managed to keep her anger at bay, the one that had swirled around her throat and had pushed her tears to the brink.

 _"I'm so sorry,"_ Lexa told Costia. _"I will do everything in my power to set things right,"_ Lexa vowed, but she watched Costia bristle.

 _"There's nothing you can do now,"_ Costia growled at her, and before Lexa could reply anything, her mother re-entered the house and started making the tea.

* * *

 

About an hour later, Meilia had gone to their village's chapel and had left the three women alone. Clarke had resolved on sharpening their knives, to keep her mind busy. Everything was in Trigedasleng so there was no use in sitting idly by Lexa and Costia while they had conversations she couldn't understand or take part in. Though Lexa had looked remorseful when Clarke stood up, there was much she needed to discuss with Costia that prevented her from checking up on the blonde.

 _"Kostia, is there really no resistance at all?"_ Lexa wondered. She could not fathom all of the alliances having been broken and that no one was fighting Azgeda.

Costia's eyes softened, and she replied, _"Of course there is,"_

_"Do you know anyone-"_

_"Do you honestly think that I- with my personality- wouldn't be in the underground resistance?"_ Costia interjected passionately.

 _"Then why did you tell me there was nothing I could do?_ " Lexa replied with a deep scowl on her face.

 _"Because you're not the commander anymore, Lexa. It's not because you magically reappeared that everything will be fine now. It's not up to you."_ Costia snapped angrily.

 _"I may not be the commander in name or status, but I am who I am. And I will always try to save my people. Let me help._ " Lexa insisted.

Costia sighed and nodded. Of course, she was going to let Lexa help. It wasn't even a question of 'let'. Lexa was their commander, she was half spirit, and nothing would stop her from performing her duty. Costia was just angry. Lexa hadn't been here. How could she possible lead their people now?

 _"I'm sorry, but you can't just come in here and expect people to listen to you. To let you lead them. You haven't been around. You don't know how things are or work."_ Costia pointed out, sounding frustrated. She wished Lexa had been here because if she had been, none of this would have happened.

 _"I'm not expecting that. I just want to help._ " Lexa assured. Besides, she had the Spirit in her, guiding her how to lead. That was still something that would help them.

 _"Fine,_ " Costia gave in. As if, she was not going to take Lexa to the resistance. _"We're going to need Titus,"_ Costia stated, and for the first time she saw apprehension in Lexa's eyes, which caused her to wonder why it was there.

 _"Polis is a day's walk from here. We could leave in the morning,"_ Lexa stated but saw Costia shake her head.

 _"Or we could take horses and be there by tonight,_ " Costia stated determinedly. _"We'll stay with Anya, then find Titus,"_ Costia concluded. While mentioning Anya, Lexa's heart fluttered with excitement. For years she thought her mentor had died and now she could see her again. Spirits, had she wished for that moment for years. Anya had been her confidant. There was nothing Lexa thought that Anya did not know. She was her longest and truest friend, one she was glad she could count on once more. If anyone hadn't changed in regards to Lexa, it would Anya. A bond between a mentor and an apprentice was too strong for time to break.

Lexa held her hand out gratefully and waited for Costia to grasp it. After they had shaken arms, Lexa found Clarke who was sharpening her last blade, and without glancing over her shoulder, Lexa kissed the back of her wife's neck.

Clarke startled and turned around only to soften when she found Lexa's green eyes.

"I'm sorry about all this, Clarke," Lexa stated feeling ashamed of leaving Clarke out so much.

"Don't be silly, it's not your fault," Clarke assured her and squeezed her hand over Lexa's arm. Costia hadn't noticed the couple's exchange as she had been too busy packing. It had become clear however that Clarke was Lexa's lover. That she was much more than that, remained hidden for now.

"We're going to the capital, today still. Costia will get horses for us," Lexa explained. "Are you okay with that?" She asked not really knowing what she would do were her wife to say no.

"Whatever you need," Clarke vowed and so badly wanted to kiss Lexa but opted against it, as she respected Lexa's wishes for their relationship to remain private.

About a half an hour later, Costia told them to go through the tunnel once more. She would meet them at the end of it. She also told them both to cloak themselves. They were lucky that the weather had turned colder and no one would find a person hidden in a warm cloak odd. Lexa guided Clarke through the tunnel, and before they climbed the ladder, she turned around and smiled widely at her.

Lexa kissed her sweetly, taking advantage of their solitude, and adjusted Clarke's cloak with gentle hands.

"I am so thankful for you," Lexa admitted as she tucked a lost strand of hair back into the mantle.

"Ai hod yu in," Clarke whispered and caught Lexa's attention. It was the only sentence Clarke had practiced over the years, that and insults.

"And I you," Lexa responded and pressed their lips together chastely.

After that, they nodded at each other, ready for another journey, and climbed the ladder. At the top, Costia was waiting for them, as they had agreed, with two horses.

 _"Three would've been conspicuous,"_ Costia explained to Lexa who turned around and told Clarke they would ride together. If Lexa was being honest, it actually put her mind to rest, having Clarke so close. It was both calming because she wouldn't have to worry about Clarke and she would have Clarke's warmth to soothe her nerves.

* * *

 

It was about five hours later that they arrived in Polis and left the horses outside of the city limits. Lexa's heart was pounding as Costia told them to hide their faces more. Lexa had several thoughts zooming through her mind. One was Anya, and the happiness she would feel when seeing her again, but also the agony of having to explain to her mentor what had happened. The shame of having lost her way. Then there was Titus, to whom she had similar feelings for as Anya, only riddled with more shame. Then there was Clarke and her position in all this. Their bond would be revealed at some point, most likely sooner rather than later and Lexa knew she wouldn't have much support.

Lexa stalked after Costia, remaining in the shadows until they reached Anya's street. When they arrived at Anya's door, Lexa braced herself for knocking on it, but instead, Costia reached in her coat and held out a key.

 _"You have a key to Anya's house?"_ Lexa questioned finding it odd, but she assumed the two must have had some sort of agreement relating to the resistance.

 _"It's technically my house too,"_ Costia stated awkwardly and astonished Lexa.

 _"Oh, you live together?_ " Lexa asked obliviously and watched Costia nod nervously. Lexa frowned, not really understanding why they would live together.

When Costia turned the key and opened the door, Anya's voice rang through the room after they entered.

 _"Costia?"_ Anya echoed while she approached her tenderly and asked, _"Love, why are you home so early?"_ Anya then shifted her eyes to the two strangers, who were still covered in cloaks and unrecognizable to her.

 _"Love?"_ Lexa murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait :) these chapters are not easy to write. 
> 
> See you next time folks!


	14. Our house

Anya eyed the two silhouettes standing in her doorway and Costia gently raising her hands. 

" _What happened?_ " Anya asked immediately thinking the worst. If Costia was bringing what looked like rebels into their home, something must've happened. 

 _"You're lovers,"_ Lexa thought out loud. Anya's eyes snapped to the stranger that spoke again. That voice, before, having been muffled, resounded crisply against the walls of her home now. Her chest quaked for she would hear that voice in her nightmares. 

" _Anya, maybe you should sit down,_ " Costia stated still raising her palms, but Anya being impatient by nature, stepped forward and unceremoniously ripped the cloth from Lexa's head. She gasped when she recognized that face immediately. 

Unlike Costia, there was no doubtful glaze clothing her eyes. Her eyes pierced through Lexa with so much more force and passion. Whereas Costia's burn was long and intense, Anya's punctured Lexa's skin and looked right through her. To the untrained eye, Anya's posture or face had not changed much, but in the cracks, one could see an alteration in temperature, in rhythm, and in color.   
Anya gripped both of Lexa's shoulders, to which Clarke reacted in a way that could only be interpreted as protective, but Anya slid down Lexa's body and kneeled before Clarke could move into action. Lexa had expected a lecture or a scolding but not this. 

 _"I've failed you, Heda,_ " She professed with such shame that it caused Lexa to move forward and snap her hand around Anya's forearm, pushing her into a warrior's handshake. Anya kept her eyes down as Lexa dragged her up. 

" _No,_ " Lexa countered, and Anya's eyes found Lexa's. " _Never,_ " Lexa continued and stared right into her mentor's eyes until she registered clarity in them. Anya swallowed the bundle of knives that her emotions had created. She gave Lexa a curt nod and wrapped her hand around Lexa's arm to shake it, but it felt absent. Though Anya had looked Lexa straight in the eyes, a part of her did not believe Lexa was actually here, because if she was, it meant that Lexa had been out there and Anya had failed to bring her home. 

Costia arched her eyebrows and blinked a few times until she ushered them all inside her home. Anya stared at the blonde that stalked Lexa's side and assumed she must've been her guard due to her protective stand. At least someone had been protecting the commander in her absence.   
Lexa bit the inside of her cheek as she looked around and took in her surroundings. She noticed the particular looking furniture she knew without a doubt Costia had picked out. There were weapons on the wall right above the couch. That, Anya, had organized. It was strange, seeing a combination of Costia's and Anya's temperament. Lexa's mind was swimming with questions. They were lovers, but when had that happened? How long had they been together? 

Lexa kept herself from expressing those questions because she knew Anya had issues of her own of a more pressing nature. Lexa looked at Clarke and threw her a smile. Though Clarke did not understand what had been said, the minute Anya's knees had hit the ground as if she had been struck down by dishonor; Clarke had read that this person apparently had felt responsible for Lexa. 

Lexa had mentioned on their way there, that the woman they were seeking had been her mentor when she had been a nightblood. What Clarke hadn't expected, was the obvious bond between the two. She hadn't realized how important a mentor was in this world. It wasn't like in Arkadia where you had teachers teaching a whole group. This was personal. 

Anya didn't say anything and just watched. She watched Costia take the cloaks and place them on the chair in their kitchen. She watched Lexa give a sweet smile to the girl next to her, one filled with affection, which made her rethink her theory on who the girl was. Anya tried not to stare at Lexa, she really attempted at averting her eyes often enough, so her eyes wouldn't burn Lexa, but she failed. It was like a Spirit was walking and talking amongst them. It felt as if Lexa had come back from the dead, and in a way she had. 

Lexa felt Anya's eyes bulleting into her skull. Where Costia's gaze had grown like a weak fire into a blaze, Anya's was brutal and acute. It was almost blameful but with a trace of disbelief and a bucket of disgrace. Lexa licked her lips and caught Anya's eyes, but the girl averted her eyes. The tension was thick and crispy, and any moment it could shatter and cut them all into pieces. 

Anya looked at Costia and wondered what the girl had done to bring their commander home. What had Costia done, that she couldn't have all those years ago? Where had she looked, that Anya hadn't? A toxic kind of jealousy bloomed in her chest, but really, it was just shame wearing a different color. 

Then Lexa spoke, albeit nervously, to the blonde next to her in a foreign tongue and Anya nearly fell off the stool she was sitting on. More questions arose. What was going on? A part of her didn't believe this was Lexa. How could it be Lexa? 

Costia's eyes darted from Lexa and Clarke to Anya, and she watched the girl slowly crumbling before her. She caught Lexa's attention who then noticed Anya's posture as well. Costia unsure of what to do, wanted to create a situation where she could talk to Anya, soothe her emotions, without the intensity of Lexa's presence. 

" _There's an extra room, where you two can stay,_ " Costia stated, wanting to alleviate the tension if only for a second. She watched Lexa nod and then whisper something in the blonde's ear. The two followed where Costia had pointed and entered the extra bedroom. 

Anya heard the move, them putting their belongings on the floor and even speaking to one another, until an unrelenting grip, which could only belong to Costia, brought her back to the kitchen in which she was sitting. 

She looked up, and soon enough Costia pressed her lips against hers. Then her forehead lingered to give Anya some support, which the brunette gladly accepted. 

" _It can't be her,_ " Anya insisted but felt Costia shake her head. 

 _"It is her,"_ Costia opened her eyes and held onto Anya like a hook. Just the simple confirmation, the simple argument coming from Costia's mouth, saying 'it is her' propelled Anya into a dire state of distress. Her chest quivered, her lips shook, and tears streamed down her cheeks. 

" _I've failed her_ ," Anya kept muttering as if were a mantra, but every time the words escaped her, Costia was there to hush them back into death. 

 _"No,_ " Costia kneeled in front of her and grabbed both of her hands. 

 _"How did you even -?_ " The words tumbled from Anya's lips because she had searched for years until she had given up after finding some of the wreckage and concluding Lexa had drowned. 

 _"Would you believe me if I told you I just stumbled upon her?_ " Costia smiled, and Anya shook her head frowning. 

 _"No,_ " Anya muttered feeling like that was too easy. Costia reached out and tucked a small piece of hair behind Anya's ear. 

" _I saw the girl, Clarke is her name, handle Lexa's dagger,_ " Costia explained and kept her hand on Anya's cheek. " _I would recognize it anywhere and well-_ " Costia continued and told her what had happened that afternoon. 

Afterward, she told her about Lexa's wish to help the resistance to which Anya had forcefully nodded. 

" _Well, of course. She's our commander. She has the Spirit in her to lead us, to find peace; she should be the one leading the resistance."_ Anya exclaimed and almost caused Costia to roll her eyes. It wasn't that Costia didn't have faith in Lexa's abilities or motivation, it was simply that she knew what the clan leaders were like. She had been on the front lines of discussions and meetings, and she knew very well how half of them would react to Lexa's arrival. 

Costia kissed Anya's forehead and sighed, " _Yes, my love,"_ There was no point in arguing considering how muddled Anya's feelings were. 

Meanwhile, Clarke lied on the bed in the room and felt her eyelids falling heavily. She then felt Lexa's fingers brush over her cheek, which prompted her to flutter her eyes. 

"Are you okay, baby?" Lexa asked, and Clarke caught Lexa's hand. 

"Yeah, I'm just tired," Clarke admitted. In fact, she had been worn out. The whole journey physically and mentally had taken its toll on her. 

"Rest," Lexa ordered and pecked Clarke's lips. 

Soon after, Lexa awkwardly exited the room, hoping it would be all right to attempt talking to Anya. 

 _"Hi,_ " Lexa shuffled her feet. 

" _Is Clarke resting_?" Costia asked and Lexa nodded. "Why don't we have something to eat?" Costia suggested and Anya, with eyes glued to the ground, nodded weakly.

* * *

 

After they had eaten, they had, with a cup of tea in hand, settled on the couch with a fire going. Anya had danced around her as if she was a ghost, constantly on the tip of her toes, waiting for the ground the crumble and take Lexa back to the realm of the Spirits. 

 _"I'm sorry, Anya,"_ Lexa broke the silence and caused Anya's eyes to avert from the fire, she had been staring into for the last twenty minutes, and look at her. 

 _"You're sorry?"_ Anya questioned. "Heda-" 

 _"Since when do you call me that in private?"_ Lexa smiled with her head angled to the side. Lexa watched Anya look down and breathe in shakily. 

 _"You are our commander,"_ Anya swallowed and then licked her lips. She closed her eyes. Lexa was their commander, but really, it was the weight of Lexa's aliveness, not that of the commander, that had been crushing Anya's bones the minute she had removed the scarf from Lexa's face. The fact that her pupil, her Lexa was alive, stirred emotions in her that she could barely handle. 

Costia eyed Anya with worry. The girl was hardly the best at handling her emotions, and it caused Costia pain to see her love in such agony. 

To lighten the tension Lexa asked, _"How did you two end up together?"_ Anya was obviously not ready to talk to Lexa, so perhaps a subject Costia could share would ease them into a conversation. Costia was a talker, so maybe listening to the woman, Lexa presumed Anya loved, would help. 

Costia smiled at the question and answered, _"It's no secret that we grew close in our grief for you,"_ Costia explained, _"But it wasn't until a few years ago that it transformed into something deeper,"_  

Anya caught Costia's eyes and allowed a small smile to mark her features, _"I would visit from time to time, and stay with Kostia so I wouldn't have to pay Mavis to stay in her tavern,_ " Anya added. 

Costia chuckled, _"Yeah, she wasn't particularly keen the first few times. We were close but not that close. Then one day,_ " Costia cleared her voice and bit her lip. It was quite funny but a little embarrassing for Anya.

Anya rolled her eyes and stated, _"I was holding a weapon wrong,"_ Lexa's eyes widened at the revelation. How was that even possible?

Costia giggled loudly and explained, _"Well, I had been working as a blacksmith for almost a year by then and knew my way around weapons."_

 _"And I wasn't holding this particular weapon the right way, I mean it was the first thing I grabbed, and well... I was about to participate in a fight- "_ Anya, begrudgingly so, admitted with babbling words. 

 _"Which I didn't approve of,_ " Costia raised an eyebrow as she spoke and watched Anya angled her head and raised one hand pointedly. Of course, she didn't. The whole exchange created a pleasurable giggle in the back of Lexa's throat. It got her excited. 

 _"She made her disapprovements known by pointing out I couldn't even hold my weapon right let alone win a fight,"_ Anya stated and had Lexa on the edge of her seat, snorting. It was quite strange hearing her mentor confess that she didn't know how to yield a particular weapon. Lexa had held Anya in such high regards. She had never thought Anya wouldn't be able to handle a weapon, not matter how foreign it was. 

 _"So, embarrassed as I was, I asked her to help me,"_ Anya blushed, and a simper danced on her lips. Anya's cheeks tightened as they tried to keep the smile from fully forming. 

 _"On the condition, she wouldn't fight._ " Costia grinned widely. 

Meanwhile, Lexa had started beaming. To say that she was surprised when she had realized they were lovers was an understatement, but in a way, it made sense. They were almost opposites, but so similar in some ways, or so she remembered. 

 _"We grew closer, after that. I think that's the first time you stopped looking at me like I was a child,"_ Costia told Anya with a laugh, and for a minute, they stopped speaking to Lexa. They were reminiscing together which was even more beautiful for Lexa to witness. 

 _"Well, it was a little before that. You being a blacksmith helped,"_ Anya snickered lightly, and in turn, Costia snorted. She shook her head but then cleared her throat. 

 _"Sorry,"_ Costia said to Lexa and by acknowledging her presence, Anya's eyes grew weary again. 

 _"No, please continue,"_ Lexa encouraged. 

 _"I don't-"_ Anya's voice quavered and next thing she knew Anya was on her feet. _"I need some air, I'm sorry,"_ Anya stated. Even though Costia tried catching her hand, the girl shook her head gently and grabbed her cloak. 

 _"Anya, the curfew-"_ Costia protested after she had stood up and followed the girl to the door. 

 _"I'll be fine, I'll stay off the main roads,"_ Anya whispered and kissed Costia's lips gently. Then she was out of the door, and Costia sighed, leaning her head against the wood. 

" _I'm sorry, she just needs time alone to process,"_ Costia explained, and Lexa nodded. 

 _"I know,"_ Lexa stated and reminded Costia of their first-second bond. At that moment, Costia remembered just how well Lexa knew Anya, even if she hadn't seen her in six years. 

 _"So blacksmith days huh?"_ Lexa snickered and prompted a hefty roar from Costia's throat. 

 _"Yeah, I worked for Jamal for about a year and crafted most of Anya's weapons. I think she just liked watching me work,"_ Costia closed her eyes and giggled. 

 _"I think Anya may have a think for blacksmiths,"_ Lexa smirked, remembering a certain older blacksmith when she had been training as a nightblood, with whom her mentor had been smitten. 

 _"You're telling me,"_ Costia growled. _"Lara of fucking Shallow Valley,"_ Costia clenched her jaw. " _I worked with her. She was my superior. I think, at first, Anya came by so often for her,"_ Costia pouted. 

 _"Well, she obviously found someone better in that blacksmith workshop,"_ Lexa smiled and smoothened Costia's frown. 

 _"Yeah,"_ Costia breathed and felt her heart soar. 

A comfortable silence danced between them and the tension Lexa had felt, the heartbreak she had gone through over the last few days had come to a halt and dissipated into the air as their words had. Her shoulders fell, not because a downcast feeling pushed them, but because the last thread of strain fiddled out of her and finally she felt like she could breathe, if only for a moment. 

With an airy whisper, she broke the silence, _"I've missed you, Cos',"_ Lexa's smile curved the edges of her cheeks with fondness. 

 _"And I you, Lexa. You have no idea how much,"_ Costia admitted and held eye contact with Lexa's widened green eyes. In her eyes, Lexa could see tears brimming. Tears that spoke of relief and home. 

Lexa's gloves, wrapped around her hands the tea cup were puzzling to Costia. Was she cold? Or was she hiding something? Was something wrong with her hands? A sick sense of dread erupted in Costia's chest. What if something had happened to her hands during the shipwreck and they were now a testimony of not only her pain but the cries of her people. 

" _Lex?"_  Costia started carefully. Lexa looked up and smiled as if she had forgotten all her worries.

 _"Why are you wearing gloves?"_  Costia asked and watched Lexa's face grow white. 

" _Is it- does it hurt?"_ Costia asked and witnessed a confused frown cut Lexa's forehead in three ripples. 

 _"No, of course not,"_ Lexa whispered and then closed her eyes, dreading the conversation. Costia stood up and sat next to her. 

" _Did something happen to them?"_  Costia asked and put her hand on Lexa's back. With Costia's gently hand between Lexa's shoulder blades, a strong sense of guilt enticed Lexa to take them off and tell Costia the truth. 

 _"No nothing bad happened to them,"_ Lexa sighed and quickly took off the gloves. _"It was just a precaution,_ " She explained, but Costia didn't seem to grasp what Lexa was speaking of. She looked at the girl's hands and saw as they once were, beautiful and elongated. A beautiful tattoo marked her hand and fingers on the right. Costia traced over it and felt no scar tissue. Any tattoo that she had encountered had scar tissue except for-

She remembered a similar tattoo on Clarke's hand. 

 _"Please don't tell me this is bonding ink,"_ Costia uttered, but she watched Lexa's eyes flutter close with regret. " _Lexa_ ," She hissed sounding exasperated. " _Fuck_ ," She cursed and spit splattered from her lips as she stood up. 

Lexa swallowed deeply when she stood up and followed Costia's footsteps. " _Kos_ '," She spoke carefully and raised her hands. 

 _"Do you realize what you've done?_ " Costia questioned, and her voice was loud and full of venom. It also sounded desperate and terrified. Now it all made sense: why they had obviously been lovers, but Lexa had refused to admit that they were. Now Costia realized why her old friend had kept such an ordinary thing from her. 

 _"I-"_ Lexa parted her mouth, but not much came out. She wanted to defend herself, but she knew this would happen. 

 _"You've bonded the Spirit of light to someone that isn't even from here!"_  Costia pointed out in anger.

 _"This could be an enemy, you've given her access to the Spirits!"_ Costia spat and shook her head. Lexa really tried to ignore the fact that Costia had just pointed out Clarke was an enemy. 

 _"There's a reason commanders don't bind their souls because their souls are not theirs to bind!"_ Costia roared and paced. 

" _Kostia_ ," Lexa held Costia by the elbow and pulled on it, " _If the Spirit didn't want us to be bonded, to have the Spirit of light be bonded with Clarke's soul, it wouldn't have bonded us._ " Lexa pointed out and let her head fall sideways. 

 _"I know a commander is supposed to be alone, but this feels right. I think there's a reason for everything-"_ Lexa insisted. 

Costia huffed and rolled her eyes, _"Well, of course, you do. You were raised on that spiritual bullshit,"_

Something in Lexa's eyes flashed and backed Costia into a corner, _"That bullshit, is in me. I can feel that bullshit. I know things from the past, of the future that a normal human should not. I am the connection between the Spirits and us so do not call the teachings I received, that explained my role and taught me everything, bullshit,_ " Lexa warned and watched Costia deflate. 

 _"I'm sorry, you're right. I just-"_ Costia shook her head. _"You're indeed the connection between the Spirits and us, but now she is too. You're bound to your people, but she isn't,_ " Costia argued, and this time, Lexa took offense to Costia insinuating once more that Clarke would betray her. 

 _"And she is bound to me as I am to her. She would never betray me. My people are her people because of this bond,"_ Lexa exclaimed and her voice, loud as it was, woke Clarke, who had been stirring due to hunger anyway. 

Clarke hadn't heard anything. She huffed against the mattress and patted the space next to her, in a moment of innocence. The moment where her mind had not yet woken, and she thought she had been back in Arkadia, sleeping next to Lexa. When she felt emptiness next to her, and sheets that felt unfamiliar, along with a strange smell, Clarke remembered where she was. Her stomach and the hungry tremors in it was what prompted her to rise. 

She sniffed and opened the door, and what she saw was Lexa and Costia head to head in what looked like a heated conversation. 

"Lex?" Clarke murmured, and immediately her instincts jumped up and pushed Clarke to stand between her and Costia. She approached her wife and furrowed her brows at Costia. 

"What is it?" Clarke whispered and started anticipating her moves, and strategizing. 

"It's alright, Clarke," Lexa told her because she knew how Clarke reacted, especially if she had just woken. Her mind always took a few minutes to catch up to her instincts. Clarke deflated and looked at Lexa. 

"I'm fine," Lexa whispered and sighed. "She just knows about us," Lexa revealed with her tattooed hand in the air, and immediately Clarke's body relaxed. Lexa had told her about her fears concerning their bond and how people would react. This was obviously the reaction she had been fearing. 

"Tell her that whatever weakness she sees in it, will be the exact opposite," Clarke told Lexa, and the girl sighed and nodded. She then translated what Clarke had said. 

"I love her, and I will do everything in my power to keep her safe and to keep her people safe," Clarke stated and added the second part. Lexa translated again, but Clarke could see Costia did not agree. Costia gave her a pitiful look and answered in Trigedasleng. 

 _"What if an enemy captures either of you and gives you a choice. You choose the one you love, or your people, or Lexa's people in this case?"_  Costia asked and silently told Lexa to translate. 

"I-" Clarke stuttered. Her instincts were yelling, Lexa! Of course always Lexa, but then again she had never been faced with such dilemma. This was exactly why she didn't want to be chief, to avoid making such choices. She only realized now that by being with Lexa, she might have to one day. 

" _Exactly_ ," Costia muttered, but Lexa clenched her jaw. 

" _I will put my people before everyone,_ " Lexa's voice cracked, and Costia shook her head with sadness in her creases. 

" _Lex_ -" She whispered. _"Not even you believe that and I don't blame you. If I had to choose between our people and Anya, I don't know what I would do either. But this is why-"_  

" _I can't be without her,"_ Lexa insisted. Lexa watched Costia's eyes grow with more sadness and her head, shaking from side to side, barely visible. That's also when Costia turned on her heels, all her movements encroached with a certain slowness. 

Clarke hadn't understood what the women had said to each other but what was clear was that Lexa was in emotional distress. 

"Lex," Clarke whispered as she watched Costia excuse herself and close the door to her bedroom behind her. "Babe," Clarke's hands traced a path in Lexa's hair, and Clarke watched thick tears fall onto Lexa's cheeks. 

"I keep crying, I really need to stop doing that," Lexa scolded herself, but Clarke hushed her. 

"Don't be foolish, you need to express your emotions, even if they're angry tears," Clarke kissed the side of Lexa's head after she had wrapped both arms tightly around Lexa's frame, one hand sliding through Lexa's hair. 

"I need to relearn how to hide my feelings. They're a weakness I can't afford," Lexa argued, but Clarke clucked her tongue. 

"Never to me," Clarke insisted and didn't get an argument from Lexa. 

Clarke hugged Lexa in silence for what felt like an eternity until her stomach grumbled and cut the silence in two. Lexa pulled out of the hug, frowning and walked towards the kitchen. 

"There's still some stew left," Lexa stated and scooped a generous amount into a bowl. Clarke greedily gobbled it down and sighed contently when everything was gone. 

"Thanks, I was hungrier than I thought," Clarke revealed. She noticed just how broken and exhausted Lexa looked. 

"Come to bed, my love," Clarke told her wife. "Nothing will be solved staying up all night," Clarke stated and commented on the hour of the night. Lexa sighed and nodded. She stepped forward and rested her head on Clarke's shoulders, reveling in the comfort she found there. 

Clarke entwined their fingers, knuckle to knuckle, lightly crossed together, and ever so gently guided Lexa to the room they were sleeping in. 

When Lexa's head hit the pillow they would be sharing, she puffed out an exasperated breath. She quickly opened her arms for Clarke to settle into. All she wanted right now was something to hold onto, someone, Clarke actually. She breathed in Clarke smell, right at the crown of her hair and tangled her fingers in Clarke's golden locks. 

"I don't know what I'd do without you," Lexa whispered so lowly that Clarke had barely heard the words uttered. Clarke shifted and lined her eyes to Lexa's. 

Finally alone, was what rung in her thoughts but the words she spoke were less selfish, "I'm always here for you," 

* * *

 

The next morning, Costia had started pacing when she realized Anya hadn't come home. She woke Lexa and told her that she was going to look for Anya. Lexa's eyes deepened, and as much as she wanted to help Costia, she knew that wouldn't be a possibility. The risk of them being caught was too great. 

 _"I need to know if she's been arrested,"_ Costia breathed nervously. " _Fuck_ ," She cursed as she put on her cloak, _"I should never have let her leave,_ " Costia scolded herself. 

" _Kos-_ " A painful amount of guilt pressed down Lexa's chest. It was her fault this was happening. Everything had been her fault. She was responsible for their pain. 

" _Don't, Lex,_ " Costia muttered still angry from the night before. When she watched Lexa's guilty features shimmer in the early morning sunrise, she sighed and revealed, _"It wouldn't be the first time,"_

Lexa nodded but then a solid rhythm of knocks rapped on the door and startled both of them. Costia's brow creased and carefully stalked the door. She opened it, but only enough for her to see who it was and leaned her foot against the door, in case this person wanted to barge in and hurt them. 

At the sight of Indra holding Anya by the elbow, sporting a very unimpressed look on her face, Costia sighed with relief and opened the door completely. 

 _"I found this idiot at Mavis',"_ Indra barked and shoved an intoxicated Anya through the opening but not without following her inside. " _Honestly, Anya what were you thinking?"_ Indra asked for the sixth time that night. 

Costia cupped Anya's face and watched her eyes, glazed, smile when they saw Costia.   
 _"You're drunk,"_ Costia scolded but nervously looked at Indra who hadn't averted her eyes to the rest of the room. 

Lexa straightened when she saw the leader of the Treekru bark at the women. She swallowed deep and was thankful the leader hadn't noticed her just yet. Somewhere in her mind, she was hoping Indra wouldn't immediately recognize her. She wasn't even sure how Indra would react if she would at all. 

Costia's eyes betrayed the situation when they nervously bounced from Indra to Lexa. By indirectly betraying someone else's presence, Indra immediately inspected the rest of the living room and eyed Lexa. For a moment her eyes were suspicious and annoyed as they had been when she entered, then a flash of recognition colored her eyes, and they darted between Costia and Lexa. They had charge in them. 

" _Lexa_?" Indra shuddered. " _You're-_ " Indra's eyes squinted, and she rushed forward, wasting no more time. Her eyes were blinking with emotion, and her mouth kept twitching. 

" _Yeah_ ," Lexa nodded with a nervous chest rising and falling in the unsteady rhythm of her heart. Then Lexa watched Indra's jaw lock in place as the woman hovered over her as if she had somehow made up her mind about something. Indra looked over her shoulder, and Lexa watched her mouth transform into a snarl. 

" _The commander is alive?_ _How long have you known? How long has she hidden here?_ " She demanded, and Costia rolled her eyes. 

 _"Calm down. She hasn't hidden. She's only just returned_."Costia explained. 

" _From what? The dead_?" Indra looked back at Lexa, who gulped when she spoke. Indra even had her hand on her sword.

" _Or did you just decide to cease your lack of bravery and come back to fulfill your duty?"_ Indra spat at Lexa. _"Where have you even been all this time if you're alive?"_ Indra questioned, and defensively so Lexa stood up and straightened her back. 

 _"I am not a coward._ " Lexa approached Indra as she spoke. " _Do not think I don't know my duty or that I forsook it. It has haunted me for years that I could not fulfill my responsibilities to our people. It has eaten away at me that I have let this situation happen, that our people are suffering and I had a hand in their pain!_ " Lexa roared and in turn had Indra backing off a little.

 _"I was lost."_ Lexa's voice broke. _"I couldn't find a way back, because there wasn't one, not one I thought I would survive anyways,_ " Lexa muttered but confused Anya. 

A strong tension created an uncomfortable silence. The silence spoke of embarrassment and anger, but somehow of relief as well. Deep down, Indra was happy that Lexa was alive, because it meant that she would be able to unite certain clans. Unite them and fight against the oppressing Azgeda. 

 _"What does that even mean?"_ Anya voiced and broke the silence after a few minutes. Her voice sounded weak and slurry. The way the silence had been broken, had both Indra and Lexa slumping in their posture. Anya's quavering voice reminded Indra that this was Lexa, who had been dead, who she had mourned. Indra had pushed her pain down so deep, that now that she was confronted with not only the source of her pain but its resolution. 

 _"Where were you if not here?"_ Indra questioned. 

 _"Beyond the passing,"_ Lexa whispered and watched frowns and gasps enter the room like wild animals to a watering hole. 

 _"That's impossible, Lex,_ " Costia argued gently, but all of this had been impossible. They had looked for Lexa, for months. And Lexa had stated that she couldn't find them, no matter how hard she tried. 

 _"The realm of the Spirits?"_ Indra asked skeptically, but Lexa shook her head. 

 _"It's not a_ portal _the realm of the Spirits. I was there. I crossed it. It's portal to different realms, with other people, humans, not spirits."_ Lexa explained, but she could feel how unconvinced the women were. 

 _"I've never heard of such a thing,"_ Indra scoffed, and Lexa breathed. 

 _"Neither had I, but how else do you explain everything?"_ Lexa asked desperately and then looked at Costia for help when she spoke next, " _Kos' you said you looked everywhere,_ " Lexa reminded her and then watched Anya's eyes deepen and wander into what was probably an agonizing memory of the search. 

 _"I have a way of explaining it,_ " Indra muttered angrily, but Costia interjected. 

" _Stop_ ," Costia snapped at Indra and ushered Lexa to continue for Anya's sake. 

 _"I was with people that had never heard of us. The current of the ocean could not have carried me that far and left me alive as well. That's impossible, and you know it._ " Lexa attempted at convincing them. 

 _"We've crossed oceans!"_ Lexa insisted. " _And never had I encountered a civilization such as that one. It's a whole different world, with different animals,"_ Lexa continued and added, "And they had never heard of us either," Lexa stated and shook her head. 

Indra snorted and crossed her arms, which had Lexa step forward with determination. 

" _I know this is unbelievable and trust me I have a hard time believing it myself, but all I can do now is fix what my absence has helped break._ " Lexa insisted. Her tone had caught some of Indra's attention. At the end that's all that mattered, the situation at hand, not the past. 

" _All I can do is trust that The Spirit knows why all of this has happened. I carry the Spirit of light in me, I need to believe that I can glue our people back together and find some sort of peace,"_ Lexa ranted, and in the midst of her rant, Lexa had realized that her Trigedasleng had come back far quicker than she had expected. She had struggled a little a few days earlier, but now she was barking out speeches like she hadn't been speaking English for the last six years. Somehow, it felt like someone else was aiding her in her speech. Perhaps the Spirit? Perhaps her subconscious remembering the words so clearly. 

 _"I believe you,_ " Costia of all people said. 

Indra's frown remained in place, rock solid. _"That makes one of us,_ " Indra added and with it, she was out of the door.

* * *

 _"She'll come around,"_ Costia whispered after Indra had left the house and barked at them that they would have to find Titus if Lexa would serve any kind of purpose in this rebellion. 

 _"She has a right to be angry. I should've tried harder."_ Lexa maintained and then heard the door of the bedroom creak. 

 _"Lex, come on, you were fourteen,_ " Costia stated and somehow found herself on the other side of the debate. 

 _"I wasn't always,_ " Lexa argued. _"Kostia, there was a time where I didn't try as hard. I met Clarke and I-"_

 _"Lexa, you just told us there wasn't a way that you saw. If I were you in your shoes, I would've done the same thing. I would've tried enjoying the life I had, instead of searching for the one I lost."_ Costia whispered tenderly, but it had little use. She decided to leave Lexa to brood a little and check up on her girlfriend who was most likely sleeping off a hangover. 

Clarke had witnessed the tender exchange and approached Lexa. Clarke wasn't aware of what had encountered. 

"I'm so sorry I've dragged you into all of this," Lexa deplored when she looked down, with her knees angled away from each other. Clarke shook her head and curled her hand over Lexa's left knee after she had sat down.

"You didn't," Clarke stated with a peaceful posture. She maintained that she made this choice and that she wanted to be there with Lexa. 

It was hours later when Clarke had offered to cook some food, which Anya had sobered up enough to receive a lecture from Costia. Costia coated her face with her hand, which cast a shadow over her features. 

 _"What were you thinking?"_ She demanded weakly. She sat down, seemingly upset, but most of all exhausted from staying up all night. 

 _"I'm sorry,"_ Anya muttered with her head bent forward with shame. 

 _"Do you have any idea how worried I was?_ " Costia sniffed, and Anya looked up at her. Her breath hitched, and she leaned forward to comfort the raven headed girl. She cradled Costia's face in the dip of her shoulders. 

 _"I was thoughtless,"_ Anya admitted. _"I won't put you through that again,"_ Anya kissed the crown of Costia's head and felt the girl nod against her skin. The last time the pair had gone through something similar was when Costia had been arrested, and Anya had been beside herself. So now realizing that Costia went through the same ordeal, Anya felt a new layer of guilt plaster over her. 

 _"I love you,_ " Costia murmured against Anya's skin. " _And I need your help, Anya,"_ Costia shifted and caught Anya's gaze. _"I can't do this alone. We need to find Titus, bring him, Lexa like Indra said._ " Costia ranted. As much as she hated to admit it, they needed Lexa if they wanted to win against Nia. She knew that many of the clans would unite under Lexa, against Nia if only for the reason that she possessed the flame, and with it had the right and wisdom to lead them. The religion surrounding the flame remained the majority in most clans. There were smaller religions, like in the Plain Riders and the south of the Glowing forest that gave more attention to animalistic Spirits, than the religion of the Flame, but they would still respect the Spirit of Light, which inherently was part of Lexa. To confirm the latter. However, they needed Titus. 

It was going to be a hard journey to unite even two or three clans. So far, most of the clans had fought amongst themselves. Quarrels Nia had instigated to remain in power. She had managed to shift the view from herself as an enemy to regarding each other as the enemy. It was exhausting trying to make some clans understand that. All they knew was hatred. Perhaps now that Lexa was here, the Spirits could help. 

 _"I'll do better. I've failed you, I won't fail you again,_ " Anya exclaimed, but Costia sighed. 

 _"I wish you would stop saying that,_ " Costia locked her gaze with Anya's. " _You haven't failed anyone. You are the most giving and caring person I know._ " Costia insisted, but Anya shook her head, showing her disagreement. 

 _"Please, my love,_ " Costia begged and eventually Anya conceding, telling herself she would face those feelings another time.

 _"I think I know where they're keeping Titus, or at least I know someone that might know,"_ Anya claimed. The former Flamekeeper had been captured, just like many of the followers had. Now it was time to take the risk to free him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this. I found this chapter very hard to write. Constantly having to write 'reunion' scenes is difficult because I don't want to make it cringy or cliché. 
> 
> If anyone wants to know more about Anya and Costia or wants me to write some prompts relating to them in this story (or other clexa flashbacks that won't be in the main story) just come and do it in my tumblr aks box :) ceyarothegay.tumblr.com
> 
> See you next time folks!

**Author's Note:**

> Okaaay, so maybe I'm not one-shotting this? It keeps playing on my mind and it's helping me with my writer's block for my other story, so yup we're doing this.


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